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How do you deal with a friend that is making bad choices

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Postby Ms.A.Z » Thu Jul 21, 2005 3:10 pm

HI Shazzam

WOW, I really don't know what to say to you especially after reading your last post. It seems like your friend dose not care about any thing else but money(I know a person who thinks some what like that too).I feel that I will be a bad person if I said that I agree with you, your better off way from her if she is that bad. Who knows maybe when all her friends and loved ones are go away from her maybe she might realise their value. I just hope it will not be too late.

I know one thing for sure relationships that are based on money never last forever infact they never begin :!:
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Postby Shazzam » Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:47 am

Ms.A.Z wrote:HI Shazzam

WOW, I really don't know what to say to you especially after reading your last post. It seems like your friend dose not care about any thing else but money(I know a person who thinks some what like that too).I feel that I will be a bad person if I said that I agree with you, your better off way from her if she is that bad. Who knows maybe when all her friends and loved ones are go away from her maybe she might realise their value. I just hope it will not be too late.

I know one thing for sure relationships that are based on money never last forever infact they never begin :!:


I agree! Money can't buy love! Ooops I sound like a Beatles song..... :lol:
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Postby juhainah » Mon Jul 25, 2005 11:44 am

I agree with what Ms.A.Z said. Probably when her friends leave her and money becomes over, she will realize that the path that she used to follow was misleading because friendship is valuable and can't be bought by money. However, leaving her is better be temporal as it should last until she changes into the best
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Postby Shazzam » Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:50 pm

juhainah wrote:I agree with what Ms.A.Z said. Probably when her friends leave her and money becomes over, she will realize that the path that she used to follow was misleading because friendship is valuable and can't be bought by money. However, leaving her is better be temporal as it should last until she changes into the best


Thankyou for your advice. I haven't spoken with her now for quite sometime and I must admit I feel more at peace with myself. I have heard from various friends that her behaviour is getting worse and that she is telling more and more lies to cover up her over-spending, she hides behind her Christianity saying that God will understand. But redemption to me is the only path if you want his help. She hasn't acknowledged that she has done anything wrong. I hate the way some people use their religion like this it makes me sick!! I have so misjudged her and realise now that she never really was a friend.

Using this forum has helped me immeasureably. Thankyou all so much.

:D
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Re: How do you deal with a friend that is making bad choices

Postby Danyet » Mon Aug 01, 2005 11:07 pm

shazzam1452 wrote:
She has always LOVED MONEY and spends like crazy. What has happened is that the money has run out and the stress over it has broken up her marriage. She is still trying to get money whatever way she can from her husband and is using it like a lolly with a child; if he is a good boy and keeps handing it over whenever she wants it she lets him see his children. I think it is terrible. He actually is a really nice man. He loves her very much. The problem is she doesn't love him and never did; she married him for money!!!

Are you sure this woman is an Aussie? She sounds very much like a typical American.
In an ideal world she would be reported to authorities, you know the guys with blue and white checkerboards around their hats and perhaps they would make her to go bake her husband a nice cake or perhaps a chocolate mousse or something :)

shazzam1452 wrote:she hides behind her Christianity saying that God will understand. But redemption to me is the only path if you want his help. She hasn't acknowledged that she has done anything wrong. I hate the way some people use their religion like this it makes me sick!!

She is not a true Christian is my thought or she would stay with her husband. Speak the truth plainly and calmly to her. Then let the chips fall where they may.
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Re: How do you deal with a friend that is making bad choices

Postby Shazzam » Mon Aug 01, 2005 11:13 pm

shazzam1452 wrote:
married him for money!!!




:lol: Very true! Too late for the cake though the poor hubby has been kicked to the kerb. She has even arranged for him to go to Saudi Arabia to work there as he can earn more money. What surprises me is that in the hope that he can get her back he is going to do it!! :evil:

[/quote]
She is not a true Christian is my thought or she would stay with her husband. Speak the truth plainly and calmly to her. Then let the chips fall where they may.[/quote]

I have tried to speak calmly routine; it doesn't work. Unless you agree with her she gets upset and tells you she expected more than that from you! Like what? :? :x
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Postby Shazzam » Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:32 am

I justed wanted to thank everyone that participated in this thread for their help. It has been nearly three months now and I haven't heard a word from this person. That pretty much sums up what I thought would happen if I spoke my mind with her. Funny thing is though I'm ok about it; I have realised that she was never truly a friend. I had convinced myself that she was because we had known each other for so long.

Sometimes you just have to wake up and see things for what they really are; and move on.

Thanks again everyone for your help! :) :)
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Postby Dixie » Sun Oct 02, 2005 8:33 am

You're more than welcome, Shazzam. And don't worry, you've been honest with her. At least you've realized what she actually is like...
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