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What are the effects on the child's emotional and growth development? I want to know about your opinion.... on this topic.....If you're on the child's situation what should you do to hasten the hurt or loneliness you feel?[/b]

hi there.. i understand your sentiments..... i have a lot of friends with just the same situation as yours.... like.. their parents have to go abroad for business trips, and therefore are always absent :) .. or their parents have to attend to their restau abroad and stuff.....

anyways, yes.. i think it affects the emotional aspect of the child but..the"being abroad" has to be clear.. the mom or dad or whoever..should let the child know the main reason why she/he has to go abroad.

as for my friends' case, they do understand their parents.. anyway that's for their future.. but communication is really important..otherwise..both the child and the parent/s suffer the repercussions.. and that's not good..... believe me..

my advice... just keep in touch with your parents and as much as possible keep an open mind about the issue(if it really is bothering you), don't let your emotions lead you astray(like some people i know)it's never gonna do you any good....
pray girl..

The child will hate the parents.
The parents will become something better than a stranger and something worse than a friend.
As for me, I see them as a source of getting wise information.

Admiral wrote:The child will hate the parents.
The parents will become something better than a stranger and something worse than a friend.
As for me, I see them as a source of getting wise information.

I don't agree with this at all. I have alot of friends that work abroad and they make sure that they plan ahead. They make arrangements for quality time with their children (including travel). They have great relationships with their kids.

It isn't only working abroad that can be difficult for families. These days most men work more and more overtime (or even have a second job). This takes time from the family. I think it is what you do with the time that you have with your family that counts.

Not quantity but QUALITY!

I think the children should be with their parents and I would never let my mum go abroad without me! I have a mate whose mother is now in Austria or Germany (i'm not sure). They guy's coping really well but I think he misses his mum a lot and that's for sure. It's always better for the child when his parents are around. At least that's what I think...

illusion wrote:I think the children should be with their parents and I would never let my mum go abroad without me! I have a mate whose mother is now in Austria or Germany (i'm not sure). They guy's coping really well but I think he misses his mum a lot and that's for sure. It's always better for the child when his parents are around. At least that's what I think...

I agree that it is always best if a parent can be at home with their children. But when you think about it some parents have to work two or three jobs and aren't home much. What difference does it make? That is why I said it is the quality of time. It is so hard being a parent, because children have needs that financially parents have to meet! To do this they need to work. It comes back to balance and communication. I would not recommend that parents leave very young children to travel abroad for work (*for long periods of time) but older children must understand why parents need to work, hence understanding the need for them to be away.

To: aika16

"We are the Captain of our Fate and the Master of our Soul."
Let's not use our parents' absence as a scapegoat to all our misdemeanors or wrongdoings. Whether they are beside us or not there are some things that won't turn out right. There will also be a time wherein we can experience loneliness even if they are around. These are part of growth and development; physically, emotionally and mentally.
Pray, have faith and move on.
We grow up seeing the good and bad things around us.
So, be honest to yourself even if you find out that others are not. You alone will benefit from this. You'll receive the merits, not the one who's beside you.
My parents are not with me too. But the affection will always be here in my heart. The longingness to see them won't die out just as my yearning desire to be a small child again. I am not free of problems either. There are times wherein I find it unbearable. But, this is life, no matter what, I must learn how to deal with it (endure it), accept it and live with it. Alone I cry, bear it and brave it all.
We are all vulnerable to being attacked or harmed by others. No one's free from this. So we really have to be strong and brave to move on in order to achieve our goals/aims. Because this is our own life. Not our parents' nor other people's lives.

I agree with you Krisi...we do not defend our future to our parents, they are here to guide and support us and as we grow older we make our own decisions, we consult our parents but they cant decide for us... i am a mother of 4 and my husband works abroad..i take care of my 4 kids alone but i always make sure my kids communicate with their dad always...my children excell in class...they are happy children.. i guess it depends on how we make our children feel the love of parents even if they are not around. The legacy of being a good and responsible person one should be.

gem wrote:I agree with you Krisi...we do not defend our future to our parents, they are here to guide and support us and as we grow older we make our own decisions, we consult our parents but they cant decide for us... i am a mother of 4 and my husband works abroad..i take care of my 4 kids alone but i always make sure my kids communicate with their dad always...my children excell in class...they are happy children.. i guess it depends on how we make our children feel the love of parents even if they are not around. The legacy of being a good and responsible person one should be.

Thanks gem...

Well, offcourse it has bad affects on the children when parents are away from home. They dont considerate on their studies, never give full attention to family. Most of the times stay away from home or stay with friends late. Spending money extravagantly and not attending school properly. And there can be so many more reasons. So if we think a home as a company it is compulsory that it should have a manager to manage all the tasks which is parents

sweethuman wrote:Well, off course it has bad affects on the children when parents are away from home. They dont considerate on their studies, never give full attention to family. Most of the times stay away from home or stay with friends late. Spending money extravagantly and not attending school properly. And there can be so many more reasons. So if we think a home as a company it is compulsory that it should have a manager to manage all the tasks which is parents

This is the down side for those kids whose parents are (working) abroad. It is really very difficult for the parents to see their children in this kind of situation because we all know why parents grab the opportunity to work abroad when there is a chance. It's all for their children and family, but because young minds are weak they are easily lured to do something wrong.

Krisi wrote:

sweethuman wrote:Well, off course it has bad affects on the children when parents are away from home. They dont considerate on their studies, never give full attention to family. Most of the times stay away from home or stay with friends late. Spending money extravagantly and not attending school properly. And there can be so many more reasons. So if we think a home as a company it is compulsory that it should have a manager to manage all the tasks which is parents

This is the down side of parents working abroad. It is really very difficult for the parents to see their children in this kind of situation because we all know why parents grab the opportunity to work abroad when there is a chance. It's all for their children and family, but because young minds are weak they are easily lured to do something wrong.

The parents who are working abroad of course are feeling sad if they learned that their children are not doing fine. It's because the parents can foresee their children without a better life in the future if and when they go astray. Parents feel sad not for themselves but only for their children.