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Really, I don't know the right address…

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Moderators: Vega, Dixie, EC

Postby Dixie » Sat Jul 28, 2007 7:37 am

What it's pretty clear to me is that your friend doesn't love his wife. Why did he marry her in the first place?

You say he's been with other women before the marriage, even prostitutes, so he might we expecting something from his wife that she cannot give him because it looks to me that she has never had sex before. Therefore he should be patient and tell her what he likes in bed, and also make sure she enjoys it.
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Postby sweets » Sat Jul 28, 2007 8:19 am

hi
RASHED
as arbian girl i understand what ur talking about talking about sex is forbbiden espically betweeen women and sometimes it coast her life :cry:


for ur freind i think that he expect that his wife that she knows about sex according to his previous expecrince so advice his to give his wife more time and start explain that in gentel way and take time to reach results :wink:

cheeeeeeeeeeeers
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Postby sweets » Sat Jul 28, 2007 5:23 pm

i wish i know a soluation for this problem it is not only ur friend problem but it's a genration one :shock: and as ur father was right when he said that man only knew his wife so i hope that love win :)

cheeeeeeers
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Postby Dixie » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:34 am

Rasheed wrote:he fought the world for her, first her family refused him because he was womanizer, but he promised her, and the love won in the end…


If he was so brave at first, why does he want to give up now that the hardest part is over?
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Postby sweets » Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:17 am

well rashed i think it needs time to slove this problem but if he is serious and really want to complete his life with his wife he should be pations and stop acting as animal

cheeeeeeeeeers
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Postby jrkp » Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:52 pm

Rasheed wrote: he talked to him by phone and advised him that he should beget some children and try to control his desires.....


I seriously doubt that a child will stop your friend's behavior. You know why? Because when men act following your hormones, there's not children who can stop them to leave their families. That's why you can find many, many cases of children who never have known their fathers... Besides, a child doesn't control men's desires.. If that were truth, no husband would cheat on their wifes.....


Rasheed wrote: my father told him that he should sacrifice for her and the family, and the private things will be well in the future…


Sacrifice? Since when having a family is a sacrifice? If he thinks in that way, that marriage is doomed.... He should try to save his marriage because he wants to, not because he have to make a sacrifice....

Rasheed wrote:I don't know if he became convinced of or not....


I hope not.... The worst reason to have a child is to trying to save a marriage....

Rasheed wrote:....but I look for another solutions


It occurs me that you should try to remind him the reasons why he felt in love with her, I'm sure there are more reason than the looks...

Or maybe you should tell him what he's gonna lose if he left her... you wrote that she is a good girl, despite her shyness and simplicity, so try to show him that, I mean, she has more qualities which are way better than sex.....
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Postby jrkp » Sat Aug 04, 2007 7:12 pm

Rasheed wrote:You have a sad view about men.


No, I don't. It's not a sad view, I'm just being realistic. Of course not every men behave in that way, but by and large, women are way better than men in that aspect because we, as a men, don't carry all the pregnacy upon our shoulders, so, we feel less attach to them... I mean, we can love our children very much, but that love can't be compared with the love of a mother...

Rasheed wrote:we appraise the marriage so we haven't much kids that who are born without marriage "I hope I express the point"


Appraise? What did you mean with that? How can you appraise a marriage?

Rasheed wrote:yes there is many situations like you said, but you know that the marriage is commitment...


Commitment? I don't know, to me, marriage is a desire, not the carnal meaning of the word, I mean, a desire to share with life with other person. Commitment sounds as an obligation...... and that can't be the overall motivation to have a lasting marriage...

Rasheed wrote:....... some men try to ignore wives's rights, but they can't, here no man can leave his children and go away…


I didn't know that.. If that so, good for your society... Sadly I can't say the same thing of mine...

Rasheed wrote:Right, but we try to save the marriage, I don't know if you understand the main point…

He love her but he want some kinds of (special acting) during their private life, the problem start with because he had many relations before marriage…


I got the point... maybe "Sacrifice" is a very strong word to describe what you mean....

Rasheed wrote:I’m not expert of this situations, I try to help him, because he is my friend…I try to save his family, maybe I didn’t understand the details (i mean the private details) but I will try to use your advice, thanks any way…


You're welcome.. I hope it helps him. It should be a shame to see a marriage fall apart for such a meaningless reason...
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Postby MissLT » Sat Aug 11, 2007 6:52 pm

Rasheed wrote:
But the question is: how can we control sex desires? Or in another form: how can we avoid its passive results?

There's no need to control sexual desires since those fantasies should come and go naturally. If one needs to control them, that means those thoughts come from a sex addict or pervert.

Rasheed wrote: When I ask him why? He said(as meaning): my wife is very beautiful but she isn't sexy, when I touch her(I don't know the right word so I hope you understand me) she know nothing about sexy situations, she's simple…

Hmmmm... a little selfish to divorce his wife over this reason. :roll: By the way, I'm a bit offended to see your posts calling a woman "simple." Whatever do you mean by this? :?

Rasheed wrote: Actually, my friend had a various relation with many women before the marriage, some of them with professionals of sex, so he always think of another women…

Now he sounds really selfish. I don't know what kinda marriage he was having, but it seems like he was forced to marry her to me. That's why he put an expectation bar that his wife had to meet. Otherwise, he wouldn't have compared or expected his wife to do the things he'd done with other women.
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Postby daizy » Mon Aug 27, 2007 12:59 am

"it's sensitive & private matter in our society, so this kind of problems is rare, "



hi rasheed
you said " rare " but i think they are many in the arab world but people don't talk about it becuz it's a tapoo. your friend's proplem can be explained in one sentence: an arab man who wants a woman to be a virgin and innocent before marriage and a sex expert after marriage. don't you think it's too much.

he should help her and talk to her about it considering her needs and abilities.

tell him " ittaqi ellah "

good luck with him.
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Re: Really, I don't know the right address…

Postby sweethuman » Thu May 26, 2011 10:31 am

I think a woman who hasnt experienced sex needs more time to learn all those and get familiar with the nature of the husabnd, so it is the hubby duty to gradually explain her what he likes
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