Let's learn together!

[Elham]

Dear Behnam,

What would be wrong if you critisized or advised me?! Come on!
To be honest, I look for some excuses to make you criticize and advise! I love to hear your strong opinions, enjoy your comments on my words and try to be wise and take lessons.Your ideas are always welcomed.

You made a very important and logical comment on my feelings. What you wrote was vital to be said;thanks alot.

Reading your post a question arose in my mind! Would you please let me know what is the right path to heaven for a girl ( a woman without husband like me)? I want to go there too!

All the best,
Elham

[behnam]

Hi Elham,
I am not sure, but apparently girls cannot go heaven! Therefore, there is no way for girls to enter there, unless they get married!

Girls must keep their hearts open to love! Avoiding high expectations of marriage, they are supposed to say 'yes' to the person who proposes. I'm not a girl, so I cannot see the world through their eyes. However, it seems that girls are looking for perfect boys. Nobody is perfect. That's why people, who look for perfection, meet failure.

Bees look for flowers and flies search for rubbish. I prefer to be a bee rather than a fly. However, too much criticsing results in pessimism which is against bees' philosophy.

The most common mistake among young partners is to pay too much attention to the opposite sex in front of each other. Suppose a boy and a girl are dating together. The boy may ask the girl for her favourite singer. In such situations, wise girls know how to answer. They wisely avoid naming a male singer's name, although they love his songs and voice. It is the same for wise boys. They are very careful about what to say and how to act when meeting another lady on the streets or on TV, etc.

A girl used to collect football players' photos! She didn't know that her action might create an unpleasant sensation. She didn't have a happy marriage. Finally, her marriage ended in divorce. Pretending to be happy, she is keeping a pet dog and spending her time with it now! Well, loneliness is one of the direct results of stupidity!

Both men and women are jealous, but they reveal jealousy differently. Watching TV together, a man may say, "What a beautiful lady!" This sentence hurts his wife's feelings, and then revenge is inevitable. A tough sanction in bed will be probably imposed on the man!

However, men often take revenge in a different way. The majority of them may look for love affairs or mistresses! In many cases, disloyalty is an inevitable result.

This subject is delicate. That's enough for now.

All the best,
Behnam, 11 Feb, 2012

[Mohsen]

By the way, Islam is based on caring about God's rules not on loving prophets and Imams

Hi Behnam,
Thanks for writing your idea about Islam , Would you please explain what is the God rules that we should care about it. At leaat write some important ones.

All the best
Mohsen

[Elham]

Hi Behnam,

Thanks for reply,

I DO understand your point and definitely agree with avoiding high expectations and taking marriage easier ; but I'm afraid to say it's not that easy to say YES to whom proposes to us (maybe the first one!)!
Let me explain more!

I think there are two major mistakes girls make nowadays regarding marriage! One is what you mentioned and that is 'having high expectations' which ends in late marriages at older ages! it has many disadvantages that we all are aware of!

The second is again somehow what you said! To say YES to whom proposes! (Please pay attention that I'm looking at your idea from a different angel although I know what you mean!)

This is not hidden to anybody that divorce rate is soooo high and is increasing day after day; why???
I guess one of the most important reasons is that many girls nowadays easily say YES!!! To whom? The first one who proposes them and claims is in love with them or even to the first one whom their parents approve of to marry with!

Some times a boy proposes based on feelings, he is young,excited (az ruye hayajan)! He hasn't thought well and his decision is not logical! He just wants to quench his current thirst without considering the result of this marriage and how he may feel or what big problems he may face, some years or even several months (or even worth, just one day) after the marriage!

This is the point where girlish feelings threatens the whole future of two people! They mostly get emotional and say YES!
No doubt, you know about such things very well .You are my teacher!

I believe a wise girl neither postpones her marriage by developing unrealistic high expectations nor spoils her future by fast, unmindful and irrational decisions!


By the way, in case there is really no way for me to go to heaven as a girl, I wish I myself could propose to my ideal man and marry him because he may never come himself! This way not only would I go to beloved heaven, but also I would make some one else’s life on the earth a real heaven! Hahahahaha

Thanks for reading; I'll be happy to hear any advice or criticize by my dear friend and teacher

All the best,
Elham

[Elham]

Hi Mohsen,

Although you have asked a question from dear Behnam and he is supposed to answer you, I'd also love to give my own idea!

I have asked somebody your question before and she advised me to read verses 23 to 39, sureh Asra in the Koran!
You can refer to this address and read them right now:
http://www.andisheqom.com/Files/quransh ... ubid=30312

In my opinion, reading these verses you'll find the answer of your question!

I'm amazed that respecting the parents has come just after worshiping God and it's siad that we [color=#0040FF]have to be careful how we treat and talk with them!!!! WOW!
And I really wonder why after that there's nothing regarding rights of wife and husband towards each other!

All the best,
Elham[/color]

[Elham]

What a mess! It's tooooooo bad that we can't edit our post after a few minutes!
And there is also sth wrong with applying the colors!

[behnam]

Hi Mohsen,

How are you? I hope all is going well with you.

Our thoughtful friend Elham has answered to your question wisely. I am absolutely certain that you know the answer of your own question much better than us. God has given his instructions (rules) in the holly Koran, and some famous priests -Ayat Allah-have written many books-Resale Amaliye- about them. Not only a Muslim, but also Prophet Muhammad and all Imams are(were) expected to follow those instructions.

The only sign of loving someone is following his/her path; acting and reacting like him/her. Otherwise, it is like claiming without offering support! If I were brave, I'd say it is self-fooling!

We may love a teacher; pretend to love a teacher; praise him/her, or flatter him/her in order to get some marks. In this world, these methods sometimes work. However, according to what I've read about the other world, such tricks won't work there. You may ask for the meaning of 'shefaat'. This word is widely misinterpreted in Iran. Iranians can hardly understand what 'shefaat' means. Like what is (was) common, we often think of it as pulling strings to fool God and then to get into heaven, even though there is nothing positive in our reports!!!

Dear Mohsen, let's stop discussing this matter publicly further. I am too tired to search for another place to make nest in! If you are interested in discussing it further, please email me at:behrampednam@yahoo.com

All the best,
Behnam, 12 Feb, 2012

[Elham]

Fast decition??? Fast?!

Oh dear Elham, that's quick decision honey!

[behnam]

Hi Elham,

Thanks for the reply with an excellent English. I really enjoyed reading it. In terms of English, it was fantastic. Congratulations!

I agree with you up to a point, but there are still some points I disagree with. However, I'm not in the mood for discussing them.

You've made significant progress in writing. In your last posts, your great improvement can be seen clearly. Congratulations on achieving success in writing professionally.

I hope to read more from you.

All the best,
Behnam, 13 Feb, 2012

[Elham]

"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined
by praise than saved by criticism."

-- Norman Vincent Peale