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battles in life...
Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 1:55 pm
by pooh_bear
there was a point in my life when i wanted to end up myself. a great force was pulling me down. Encouraging me, pushing and actually whispering in my ear that life is hopeless. That life is worthless, absurd. It was such a negative force that keeps on telling me that I have so many problems in life, that I have to be discourage, i must be weak and it makes me feel so terrible, it keeps on ringing in my ear for about a couple of weeks. i don't know the reason why, maybe that force thought that he is winning the battle because without me knowing I was nearly caught in his trap. I tried to lock myself in my room upstairs took some medicine and trying to overdose myself. I dont have an idea if that medicine would kill me but that's the only medicine i have at that time. I was lying on the floor crying, holding the tablets on the other hand and a glass of water on the other. I have taken about 10 tablets when i stopped it and came to realize that God always give us a chance. And the truth is that I feared God for I know that it is a sin.
Those two forces battling in my mind taught me how to be strong. I was about to give up at that time....I am fortunate still that the battle was'nt able to conquer me wholly. As I was remembering those times a thought came into my mind. i remember that i was so active in the church aat that time and maybe he wanted me to break it like my other family members. he wanted us to be totally wreck. But there was this other force who keeps on reminding me that God loves me. Asweet small voice was whispering to me not to do it. He wanted me to se positive things in life because I still have my family, my friends, the church and a dear someone who is waiting for me and never knows what i've been going through..because f that realization and the love that i feel for them, i was able to conquer that helplessness. the only thing that helped me fight the negative force is prayer. It has been my comforter every minute of everyday. I have learned a lesson from that circumstances...we have to defend ourselves from those enemies (evil forces)....
Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 4:53 pm
by ayie
Congratulations pooh_bear!!! Sometimes we need to encounter those kinds of situation in order to be strong... God has His ways of making us realize that he is there. I'm happy for you that in that battle, you won! Keep on being active in the church or wherever God calls you... God Bless! Be strong!
Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 6:08 pm
by pooh_bear
thanks for reading my so called article ayie! i appreciate that. :)
Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 6:40 pm
by Lilian
well pooh i admire u for ur strong effort. ur right God gave us life but he didnt give us any right to take it off. life is a battle, here u will make mistake, and learn from the mistake. and when u will reach ur destiny, u will feel the eternal joy.
i have faced so many problem, but i never gave up. at the time being i was capable to hande the whole situation. now when i look back, it make me smile to think of all those problems that i had to face. now i am stronger and and able to face more problem.
anyway..i hope u will never lose ur heart, no matter what, how hard the situation is. be optimistic. and God is always with u.
Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 7:29 pm
by ayie
pooh_bear wrote:thanks for reading my so called article ayie! i appreciate that. :)
Anytime pooh! We're here to learn from each other and your article is one worth reading anyway... :D
Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 9:26 pm
by pooh_bear
thank you so much lilian, yeah i know it's really hard to face reality but we have to.
Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 12:26 pm
by RedRose
pooh-bear, glad to know you have gotten rid of your depression. I hope you will live in a nice mood forever.
and yes, when we fight with depressions and diffifulties bravely, we can feel proud and energetic, and when we defeat them, we can get plenty of happiness and courage with which we can face other battles in the future. I guess you got the same experiences and encouragements to mine.
Good luck, honey!
Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:48 pm
by pooh_bear
thanks RedRose, yeah i know our weaknesses will be our strenght.
Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 7:20 pm
by jonrey10
Prayers & friends can help you conquer the negative force.
It's a good thing you won the battle.
Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 9:03 pm
by pooh_bear
thank's ayie and jonrey10. hope you were able to learn something from that experience
Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 2:48 pm
by V_I_O_L_E_T
what if u don't want to win ur battle and just go divert ur attention to other things?
what if u want to just go astray and rebel?
i appreciated and would like to commend u for winning ur battle...but what if others are trying to escape and find comfort somewhere else...what if that person who have given importance doesn't seem to know ur existence but keeps on needing u and wanting u to be there but never...never acknowledges ur presence...
would u still fight the battle or just leave it?
Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 3:06 pm
by francine
V_I_O_L_E_T wrote:what if u don't want to win ur battle and just go divert ur attention to other things?
what if u want to just go astray and rebel?
i appreciated and would like to commend u for winning ur battle...but what if others are trying to escape and find comfort somewhere else...what if that person who have given importance doesn't seem to know ur existence but keeps on needing u and wanting u to be there but never...never acknowledges ur presence...
would u still fight the battle or just leave it?
i think this is where
acceptance must come in. reality bites. but who cares. there are still a lot of people who loves you and will still be loving you. don't let your world be focused on just one person.
Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 5:31 pm
by pooh_bear
francine wrote:V_I_O_L_E_T wrote:what if u don't want to win ur battle and just go divert ur attention to other things?
what if u want to just go astray and rebel?
i appreciated and would like to commend u for winning ur battle...but what if others are trying to escape and find comfort somewhere else...what if that person who have given importance doesn't seem to know ur existence but keeps on needing u and wanting u to be there but never...never acknowledges ur presence...would u still fight the battle or just leave it?
i think this is where
acceptance must come in. reality bites. but who cares. there are still a lot of people who loves you and will still be loving you. don't let your world be focused on just one person.
i'd like to thank you violet for reading my article, re your question of what it that person doesnt know my existence and just needs me but don't acknowledges my presence..." know what your a good reader sunflower, but i guess francine is right we should accept things, there is always an excemption to every rule, there is a time to fight there is a time to surrender...acceptance is always difficult but that's the way it is..
