Add your poems, essays and short stories here. Please do not post work by other writers.
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ginny
Rising Star
Posts: 122 Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 4:00 am
Post
by ginny » Tue Mar 20, 2007 4:36 am
Death! Death is all around
Blood! Blood is flowing
Red, red, red...
Everything is becoming red in the eyes
Red tears
Falling! Falling!
Someone is calling inside the dusk
Blood sunset covers the river
The red river
Flowing! Flowing!
Nowhere to lean on
Nowhere to hide
Something wet in feet, in hands, in face and in heart
The red sun
Sinking into the red river...(!)
shakespear
Top Contributor
Posts: 973 Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
Status: Teacher of English
Location: turkey
Post
by shakespear » Mon Mar 26, 2007 10:55 am
It is really a very good poem I read today.
Oriani
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Posts: 1086 Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:44 pm
Status: Teacher of English
Post
by Oriani » Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:07 pm
Yes! Yes! You're poem has rythm :)
Oriani
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Posts: 1086 Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:44 pm
Status: Teacher of English
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by Oriani » Mon Mar 26, 2007 5:13 pm
Yes,. it has. I studied Poetry in my Reading nd Writing class in English and Rythm means when the same words are follow with each other before the Exclamation signs (punctuation):
For example:
Red, red, red...
Falling! Falling!
Flowing! Flowing!
That's rythm
Oriani
Top Contributor
Posts: 1086 Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:44 pm
Status: Teacher of English
Post
by Oriani » Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:05 pm
mrLenin wrote: rythm has to be stable and repeatable. This is not rythm
Whatever! For me it does. That really matters. It depends on the reader and in my case it does and it is my opinion. Thanks.
Vega
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Posts: 1532 Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:59 pm
Status: Learner of English
Post
by Vega » Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:43 pm
mrLenin wrote: rythm has to be stable and repeatable. This is not rythm
Have you ever read Mayakovsky (Маяковский)? I think this is kinda Mayakovsky's rhythm, but in English. :)
Vega
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Posts: 1532 Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:59 pm
Status: Learner of English
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by Vega » Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:45 pm
btw ginny you're so beautiful on your avatar. :) :P
Oriani
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Posts: 1086 Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 6:44 pm
Status: Teacher of English
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by Oriani » Tue Mar 27, 2007 4:13 pm
Xkalibur wrote: btw ginny you're so beautiful on your avatar. :) :P
Yes, it looks like a doll! :) Cute
fortminor
Rising Star
Posts: 283 Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2006 4:05 pm
Location: Iran
Post
by fortminor » Wed Mar 28, 2007 7:10 am
so why everything's red 'n blo0dy?
you feel like a killer ? lol :)
just kidding.
it was good and can be much better.
Lac
Member
Posts: 44 Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2003 5:07 am
Post
by Lac » Tue Apr 03, 2007 11:28 am
It's totally blood-stained and sanguine. I wont read it before going to bed. But i possibly recite it in singing voice to know how much I love peace and friendship.