Kindly proofread this please

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Kindly proofread this please

Postby creativeguru » Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:39 pm

Its an college entrance exam assigment i have to submit to get an admision they had given me assigment for making a tv ad for musin system so please check this for the tone and structure of the para please correct my sentence where it is wrong and let me know how is this, and kindly help me to give ont nervous factor whereever required
The scene of a jungle, a huge and strong tree in the middle. a man comes on the horse and halts in front of the tree, he has a gun in his hand and scaning around with his eyes for hunting a animal. After a few seconds he hears roaring of a tiger, he gets alert and firmly hold the trigger of the gun looking all around again from where did voice came. Again after a few seconds tiger roars this time volume was more than the previous. The man's get bit nervous but still unavailable to find out where is a tiger. Now again tiger roars this time even more louder, man was unable to hold his nervousness, his hat fell on the ground but he just ran away from there.
Now camera in still on a huge and strong tree, which moves from the front of the tree towards the backside of the tree.(following scene is fully animated) On the backside we can see a tiger is sitting in a very relaxed mood under the shade of the tree enjoying a sunnyday, his one hand(front leg) is on the musicplayer placed next to him. and he is loving to play the music.
And indeed the roaring sound was being placed by tiger....Then we have the close up scene of music system and then tagline come at last..."Enjoy, The real sound"
creativeguru
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