Page 1 of 2
A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 10:46 am
by shakespear
A ROSE & A HELL
Who listens to infants or cares for plants?
Who defends them, defends their sad mothers?
Who feels for them, feels for the tearful chants?
All denied, you have no friends, no brothers
………………………………………………………………………. (1)
Who will say " HAPPY RETURNS" again?
Who will give us cards and sweets at Bairam?
Who will wipe puzzled tears, and erase sore pain?
We all please the hope, cling to a fine tram
………………………………………………………………………. (2)
Clashes and shelling, are all day and night
Scattered limbs are spread so high in the sky
The mothers are still waiting for the knight
The saver will come and erase the sigh
………………………………………………………………………. (3)
Moving from place to place, I try to escape
During the night's silence, dull hours pass
And other foul bombs break the calm, and rape..
Our quiet, our souls, and kill the so fair lass
………………………………………………………………………. (4)
A grisly tyrant became our bad fate
Allied with Satan to kill more and more
He's thirsty to blood and he wants to sate
Who stops him? our happy life turned sore
………………………………………………………………………. (5)
An awful missile fell on my garden
Ruined my white flowers, destroyed the beauty
Broke the green branches, it aims to sadden
Happy beings, really you're so potty
………………………………………………………………………. (6)
Under the debris, I found a soft rose
It was still dewy, It was still alive
My lass, I need you to revive and dose..
The rose, what a pity! the charm will rive
………………………………………………………………………. (7)
When can I lean my head on your cozy chest?
Close my eyes, dream to chase you on green lawn?
Recite to you my touching poem, my geste?
And open them to look at you, my nice fawn?
………………………………………………………………………. (8)
i hope you enjoy reading my new poem
have nice moments
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 3:42 pm
by Elisa
I am coming back from a very interesting travel through a troubled land and I have seen as a rose can grow among the ruins.
We don’t have to lose the hope. Very deep poem. Compliments!
I send to you my human friendly warmth.
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 7:11 pm
by shakespear
hi
thanks 4 this warmth msg ...yes u caught the aim of this poem....that ; whatever happened there's still a hope ..here the rose represents the hope, the beauty & debris represents destroy, war, death
thnx 4 being the 1st one to comment on this poem and i hope u catch the mistakes of my poem
have nice moments
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 8:24 am
by dreamer
for me it's not ur best
i knw how u suffering i lived such situation before but u can draw this paint in better shape not as report
u tried to have little hope but i guess it's fake one but at least realistic one
don't be angry cuz i annoyed u but i feel little depressed nowadays
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:58 am
by shakespear
hi
thnx 4 ur comment and i'm not angry and u can speak what u like...but as u know there are two kinds of tales; descriptive and narrative....i tried here to convey my suffering through this poem and show to ppl what's going on in my province, in my town, in my place..
war means destroying, damage, death, deprivation...and unjust rulers, tyrant, who make this war. also i tried here that there is hope, beam in all conditions even in bad condition...there is still a hope and we must care for it to keep it safe...hope like a rose we've to treat, nurse it and care for it to keep it alive
i know it's not my best poem and i'm not angry and i thank u for ur comment
have nice moments
c u soon
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:22 am
by shakespear
dear dreamer
depression means that there're sth inside u, i know u have lots to show, u can write creative poetry koz of ur suffering....u r still waiting a miracle to happen...live ur life and try to write whatever come in ur mind...
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:31 am
by shakespear
Hello, non commented...hv nice moment
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 9:11 am
by farah
Hello shakespear
I think it is very lovely poem. It is descriptive poem. It shows events that happened in your country. It is considered as a document.
see you soom
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 9:43 pm
by shakespear
hi farah
thnx 4 this comment..sorry if i was late to reply u...yes u'r r8 it's considered as a document..also there's sth...i referred in it that we have to keep our hope and nurse it koz its like a white rose..
thnx again 4 the comment
c u
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 10:54 pm
by farah
hi Shakespear
you are welcome
really it is very good poem
don't care about comments that say it is not very good, i loved the last section
shakespear wrote:When can I lean my head on your cozy chest?
Close my eyes, dream to chase you on green lawn?
Recite to you my touching poem, my geste?
And open them to look at you, my nice fawn?
do not stop writing Shakespear
see you soon
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:40 am
by shakespear
hi friend
i also like the last stanza...it's about emotion...we can't live without emotion...
thnx 4 ur comment...i want to read sth from u..i think u r able to write a poem if u try...we can help each other...
thnx again
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:15 pm
by dreamer
i'm expecting better poem next time i mean that
you can start with this line
if i were you and u were me
waiting for ur line
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 12:22 pm
by shakespear
hello
ok ur line starts as the following:
if i were u and u were me
i use ur eyes, by my eyes u'll see
i touch ur chest feeling ur heart's beat
when i look to my face our eyes meet
complete plz...........................
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 2:27 pm
by dreamer
if i were u and u were me
u'll see how i feel
without u how can i feel
ur my half even if we won't meet
ur trun
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 10:55 am
by shakespear
If i were u and u were me
u would know and u would see
how pain'd hurt my soft soul
u will still my lofty goal
if i were u, i'd kiss my hand
if u were me, u'd get my land
ur turn
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:32 pm
by farah
Hi
you and Dreamrer will have a good porm, but:
Whose this poem will be? You or Dreamer?
No fight, ok?
:-P:-D
SEE YOU
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 5:26 am
by dreamer
if i were u and u were me
u would know how pain i could cause
so staying away is better for u
if i were u and u were me
u would know powerful i'm i
how i can break hearts easily with no lose ,,
if i were u and u were me
u'll see that staying away from u is mercy from me
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:10 am
by shakespear
Hi farah.
We won't argue about the poem
thnx 4 ur comment
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 7:59 pm
by shakespear
If I were you, and you were me
We'd live special life and we'd be
Happy creatures and we could see
Pretty sky and so pretty sea
........
If I were you, I'd nurse myself
That I still think by my real brain
I'd take me far from any elf
To my lover's chest, in a lane
..........
If you were me, you'd live torture
That I loved you or I loved me
I you, you me, we're sole creature
Am I your slave? Or we are free?
.........
If you were me, you'd have desire
You'd sense and feel my hot passion
You'd sense heat inside me and fire
If you were me, I'd get my ration
.........
ur turn
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:11 pm
by dreamer
if i were you and u were me
u'll feel what i live
heart says yes .. mind says no
if u were me u'll live in big trouble
if i were i would wake up
and have new love with new dream
no need to live past no need to cry
no need to wake past ..
let it pass
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:29 pm
by shakespear
hi
icant go on kox now my heart feels sad...y i feel ur tears rising in ur eyes, r they?
y i cause sadness 2 u & 2 myslf...u won in the poem....i wana u win....koz i u & u me , its mess
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:38 pm
by dreamer
it's not a battle to have winner in
i just wanna re-live my talent as we were remmber shaki?? those sweet mad days
sorry if i hurt u but as u said iu & u me
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 9:43 pm
by shakespear
Is it hard 2 find kind heart now a days? 4 me its not koz i hv my dearest & u kno that
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:33 pm
by dreamer
it's not hard to find one but the hard is to search well and ur too lazy to do that search
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:42 pm
by shakespear
God granted me so sweet , educated ..sweets & that's enough.
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:45 pm
by dreamer
don't make her shy that little girl is vanishing
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:04 pm
by shakespear
If she vanishing, im vanishing 2.... U kno, she's full of sweets
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:06 pm
by dreamer
sweetness is'nt work nowaday the curle is winner at this time
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:22 pm
by shakespear
Sweets may be an adjective or a name, u got it?
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:26 pm
by dreamer
cu around busy man
and think of new line to start our game
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:31 pm
by shakespear
I use mobile with hacking so its weak...nothing make me busy on u
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:37 pm
by dreamer
u become hacker tooo!!!!!!!!!
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:44 pm
by shakespear
Just 2 get net...noth else
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 7:41 am
by shakespear
start with this word:
when....
when can my cheek lay on ur cheek?
when can my lips touch ur lips?
when can my hand confound in ur hair?
comb it and temper ur neck?
is it possible or it's no way?
ur turn
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 2:50 pm
by dreamer
when sun meet moon
when we meet
i'm in to u
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 4:32 pm
by shakespear
when can i meet u, and look into ur eyes?
when can i take u, and take u to my chest?
when can my chest touch urs? feel ur heat?
when my hopes come true and live in ur paradise?
million " when" but none can be fact...
ur turn
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 6:04 pm
by dreamer
when millions be true
when all starts be 4 u
when i can say i luv u?
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 6:31 pm
by shakespear
when will the bright star visit me?
when will my lover mercy my heart?
when will i climb that florid tree?
and my mouth suck delicious fruit?
ur turn
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:25 pm
by farah
shakespear wrote:when will i climb that florid tree?
and my mouth suck delicious fruit?
I like these two lines. What did you mean with these two lines??
Please check your inbox.
I am waiting.
Good night.
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 9:49 pm
by shakespear
mmm ok listen;
florid tree refers to fortile female, when delicious fruit refers to sin or refers to forbidden fruit of Adam in paradise...when he eats that fruit feels of his nakedness..i think u know the tale...
thnx 4 ur comment and i'll check my inbox..
gd nyt
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:30 am
by dreamer
when i be u
when smiles be true
and life combain us too
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:58 am
by shakespear
i think it's " combine" my teacher...don't worry i got it...
my role:
when do you sweep my sad tear?
when do you make me happy?
when do remove my fear?
and catch my as all roads slippy?
good morning all my friends
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:41 pm
by dreamer
when be toghter
and life leave us for ever
i'll hold ur tear and draw your smile
when sun hugs moon
and starts say ture
i'll chase u
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 8:42 pm
by shakespear
i'm ur sun, ur my moon
when can i meet u in fact
i'll fold earth and get u soon
and we'll make our pact
............
urs
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:06 pm
by dreamer
come my sun and shine my days
i'm waiting for long nights
come and let me have new page
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:18 pm
by shakespear
i'll break through ur room's wall
cuddle u to heal my thirsty
and jade ur perfume, my doll
to find out my love busty
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:31 pm
by dreamer
no more u win this time
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:43 pm
by shakespear
in all cases u win
u inspire me to sin
u teach me to defies all
u teach me to be tall
to go up and catch the sky
to have wings and fly
thnx
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 4:26 pm
by farah
Hello my friend:
I want write poem please help me and corect the wrong.
When I reech my aim?
When I not feel the same?
When I get no blame?
Thanks. I wait your coment.
Re: A ROSE & A HELL
Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 12:51 pm
by shakespear
farah wrote:When I reech my aim?
When I not feel the same?
When I get no blame?
hello farah:
first of all i wana apologize koz i'm late but at last i'm here now; some mistakes as i think:
reech= reach and there're some grammar mistakes so i'll write ur lines as i think the correct:
when can i reach my aim? or : when shall i reach my aim?
when i won't feel the same?
when will i get no blame?
really u wrote so lovely lines, you needed just some correction but at all you could say sth expressing.
i look forward to read more from you
have nice moments.