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I need your help

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I need your help

Postby mercy » Mon Feb 07, 2005 3:41 pm

hi

dear reader can you help me to check and correct this composition

the question is

Try and imagine your slef in solitary confinment , write a short essay in wich you describe what would miss most, what books you think you would read, what possessions you would like to have with you .etc(120-140 WORDS)


and I wrote :
"It's my first day in the solitary confinment ..I'm full of hope , I feel that I can over come everthing ..my self confidence is getting higher.
I can't bear,I can't star here anymore ..that was myposition after one week,oh my God

I need to talk,I need someone , no no I need my mom , no I need my friend..Ii really need a shoulder to cry on ,I'm getting deprssed

It's very hard to stay in solitary confinment, I tried to imagine that,
I found it imposible.

I felt lonely and I was in a very bad mode

I think that imprisonment for life is an immoral punishment and very bad thing.

so when we decide to punish somewho , we have to think twice and seriously."




so can you check it for me ..



Rgards
^עידן^
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mercy
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Posts: 98
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2004 2:35 pm
Location: Israel

Re: I need your help

Postby Pirate » Thu Feb 10, 2005 7:46 pm

mercy wrote:and I wrote :
"It's my first day in the solitary confinment ..I'm full of hope , I feel that I can over come everthing ..my self confidence is getting higher.
I can't bear,I can't star here anymore ..that was myposition after one week,oh my God

I need to talk,I need someone , no no I need my mom , no I need my friend..Ii really need a shoulder to cry on ,I'm getting deprssed

It's very hard to stay in solitary confinment, I tried to imagine that,
I found it imposible.

I felt lonely and I was in a very bad mode

I think that imprisonment for life is an immoral punishment and very bad thing.

so when we decide to punish somewho , we have to think twice and seriously."


First of all check your spelling. Be careful and don't disregard small mistakes.
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Pirate
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Status: English Learner

Re: I need your help

Postby Guest » Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:58 pm

mercy wrote:hi

dear reader can you help me to check and correct this composition

the question is

Try and imagine your slef in solitary confinment , write a short essay in wich you describe what would miss most, what books you think you would read, what possessions you would like to have with you .etc(120-140 WORDS)


and I wrote :
"It's my first day in the solitary confinment ..I'm full of hope , I feel that I can over come everthing ..my self confidence is getting higher.
I can't bear,I can't star here anymore ..that was myposition after one week,oh my God

I need to talk,I need someone , no no I need my mom , no I need my friend..Ii really need a shoulder to cry on ,I'm getting deprssed

It's very hard to stay in solitary confinment, I tried to imagine that,
I found it imposible.

I felt lonely and I was in a very bad mode

I think that imprisonment for life is an immoral punishment and very bad thing.

so when we decide to punish somewho , we have to think twice and seriously."




so can you check it for me ..



Rgards

Proofread and revise for spelling and punctuation.
Guest
 

Postby mercy » Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:02 pm

thank you Pirate ....
and thank you simplyblessedwithlove

I Know that I have some spelling problems
and I'm working on them
I'll make my spelling better :)

anyway thank you a lot for your comments


Regards
Edan
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mercy
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Posts: 98
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2004 2:35 pm
Location: Israel


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