Aloha out here!
I've already posted hare in the writing section, but without any result in the form of constructive criticism concerning my summary and my outlines. So I'm trying once again to animate all of you to help a mate in need. In exactly one week I will have to retake my writing exam at the University of Poznań in Polen and I really urgently need your help :( . Please read through my paragraphs (each has only around 250 words, so half a computer page) and post my your criticism, tips and anything you think of them and what I can use to pass this exam. I will be most grateful! :D
Huge thanks in advance!
Inkbell
Urgent writing help needed!!!
Moderator: EC
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Inkbell
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- Location: Poland
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Inkbell
- Member
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:56 am
- Location: Poland
Argumentative paragraph
Argumentative: Is reading as a pastime for children threatened by the contemporary media?
Reading has always been an inexhaustible source of imagination and vocabulary for children. Meanwhile the contemporary media may be a threat to this benefitial activity. Only some decades ago reading aloud to children was a fixed part of the day in most households. It gave children an opportunity to imagine scenes and heroes as well as to boost their lexicon. Exploring the labirynth of letter by themselves, children trained their reading and comprehension skills and increased their interest for the surrounding world. Notwithstanding these obvious benefits, reading is in decline due to the increasing popularity of the modern media, which suppress reading as one of the main pastimes of children. Television, computer games, Internet – these are the alternative entertaining facilities which supply a maximum of amusement, requiring a minimum of intellectual effort. They provide ready-made images and bomb the user with the whole gamut of visiual and auditory experiences. Consequently, children lay their books beside, stop to create own pictures of the real or imaginated world, and adopt everything from the media. Why should they bother to strain their grey matter when they can have everything on a silver plate? But at the same time, engaged parents can benefit form the contemporary media, making reading more attractive for their offsprings. Cinema- or TV-adaptations of classical children’s literature, computer games based on books, and the Internet as a source of information about favourite authors may be a compromise between traditional reading and modern facilities and increase childrens’ interest for the written word.
Reading has always been an inexhaustible source of imagination and vocabulary for children. Meanwhile the contemporary media may be a threat to this benefitial activity. Only some decades ago reading aloud to children was a fixed part of the day in most households. It gave children an opportunity to imagine scenes and heroes as well as to boost their lexicon. Exploring the labirynth of letter by themselves, children trained their reading and comprehension skills and increased their interest for the surrounding world. Notwithstanding these obvious benefits, reading is in decline due to the increasing popularity of the modern media, which suppress reading as one of the main pastimes of children. Television, computer games, Internet – these are the alternative entertaining facilities which supply a maximum of amusement, requiring a minimum of intellectual effort. They provide ready-made images and bomb the user with the whole gamut of visiual and auditory experiences. Consequently, children lay their books beside, stop to create own pictures of the real or imaginated world, and adopt everything from the media. Why should they bother to strain their grey matter when they can have everything on a silver plate? But at the same time, engaged parents can benefit form the contemporary media, making reading more attractive for their offsprings. Cinema- or TV-adaptations of classical children’s literature, computer games based on books, and the Internet as a source of information about favourite authors may be a compromise between traditional reading and modern facilities and increase childrens’ interest for the written word.
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Inkbell
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- Location: Poland
Explanatory paragraph
Explanatory: Why is fantasy literature so appealing for the contemporary youth?
Fantasy literature with it’s stories about wizards and knights, forgotten worlds and unknown powers is gaining increasing popularity among the contemporary youth. Represented by the works of J. R. R. Tolkien or C. S. Lewis, it creates alternative worlds where Good always triumphs over Evil. The realities of Middle-earth or Narnia, with great adventures, virtuous knights, powerful wizards and beautiful princesses, appear to be far more attractive than the ordinary life of a schoolchild. Ancient customs, courteous manners and unique languages and myths make those imagined places even more appealing. Heroes like Tolkien’s Aragorn or Lewis’ High King Peter are examples of behaviour, imitated by young male readers, adored by female ones. By the same token girls model themselves on their beloved Arwen, Susan or Lucy. And they are worth copying. Fantasy heroes are brave, tough and honourable, surrounded by lots of companions, crowned with glory and fame. The youth can learn a lot of them. Besides, they never needed an alternative world as much as in our contemporary times. Where the individual imagination is replaced by ready-made images served by the media, where all morals and ethics are messed up and where the world is ruled by sex, money and power, young people need something to rely on - someone who will show them what is good and what is bad, what to live for and what to fight for. Fantasy literature leads the way to a wider, wilder world, where honour and love are holy and everyone has the chance to be a hero.
Fantasy literature with it’s stories about wizards and knights, forgotten worlds and unknown powers is gaining increasing popularity among the contemporary youth. Represented by the works of J. R. R. Tolkien or C. S. Lewis, it creates alternative worlds where Good always triumphs over Evil. The realities of Middle-earth or Narnia, with great adventures, virtuous knights, powerful wizards and beautiful princesses, appear to be far more attractive than the ordinary life of a schoolchild. Ancient customs, courteous manners and unique languages and myths make those imagined places even more appealing. Heroes like Tolkien’s Aragorn or Lewis’ High King Peter are examples of behaviour, imitated by young male readers, adored by female ones. By the same token girls model themselves on their beloved Arwen, Susan or Lucy. And they are worth copying. Fantasy heroes are brave, tough and honourable, surrounded by lots of companions, crowned with glory and fame. The youth can learn a lot of them. Besides, they never needed an alternative world as much as in our contemporary times. Where the individual imagination is replaced by ready-made images served by the media, where all morals and ethics are messed up and where the world is ruled by sex, money and power, young people need something to rely on - someone who will show them what is good and what is bad, what to live for and what to fight for. Fantasy literature leads the way to a wider, wilder world, where honour and love are holy and everyone has the chance to be a hero.
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Inkbell
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- Location: Poland
Explanatory paragraph II
Explanatory: Do romantic comedies make women discontented with their lives?
Romantic comedies appear to have one aim: to create a melancholic atmosphere that causes women to think ‘Why does something like that never happen to me?’. But do these movies really make women unhappy? Studies indicate that 86 % of female cinema-goers leave the cinema after they have seen a romantic comedy with a strange feeling of a ‘nostalgia for the future’. Romantic movies like Runaway bride or You’ve got mail tend to create an idyllic world with perfect persons. The heroes are – sooner or later – all beautiful, clever and prosperous. Their jobs are interesting, their lifestyle modern and they always end up happily united with the person who is destined for them. Women bombarded with such illusions behave in opposite ways. The first type of women reacts with dissatisfaction. They start to be discontented with their looks, way of life and character. Querying their personality and career, these women slide into a depressive mood. The second type of female cinema-goers, on the contrary, displays a beneficial pattern of behaviour. Having an optimistic world view, they adopt the belief in perfect romantic love presented in the movies, which may of course prove to be true. These who are unsatisfied with themselves may eventually gain the motivation to change something about their lifestyle, appearance and attitudes, making themselves by the same token content and more attractive. In conclusion, it depends all on the attitude of the viewer, whether a simple cinema visit will end down in the dumps or up in seventh heaven.
Romantic comedies appear to have one aim: to create a melancholic atmosphere that causes women to think ‘Why does something like that never happen to me?’. But do these movies really make women unhappy? Studies indicate that 86 % of female cinema-goers leave the cinema after they have seen a romantic comedy with a strange feeling of a ‘nostalgia for the future’. Romantic movies like Runaway bride or You’ve got mail tend to create an idyllic world with perfect persons. The heroes are – sooner or later – all beautiful, clever and prosperous. Their jobs are interesting, their lifestyle modern and they always end up happily united with the person who is destined for them. Women bombarded with such illusions behave in opposite ways. The first type of women reacts with dissatisfaction. They start to be discontented with their looks, way of life and character. Querying their personality and career, these women slide into a depressive mood. The second type of female cinema-goers, on the contrary, displays a beneficial pattern of behaviour. Having an optimistic world view, they adopt the belief in perfect romantic love presented in the movies, which may of course prove to be true. These who are unsatisfied with themselves may eventually gain the motivation to change something about their lifestyle, appearance and attitudes, making themselves by the same token content and more attractive. In conclusion, it depends all on the attitude of the viewer, whether a simple cinema visit will end down in the dumps or up in seventh heaven.
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Admiral
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Inkbell
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- Location: Poland
Essays
Great thanks Dixie and Admiral! :D I never thought I would get a reply so soon, and such a pleasing one 
I've found the mistake you have probably meant, Admiral,'beneficial' NOT 'benefitial', isn't it? Unfortunately, my prof has just told me, that there will be no argumentative essays in my exam :( And he added that the one about romantic comedies isn't an explanatory paragraph, because it is a yes-no question. Argh, but this is my favourite type of essay! Anyway, I will have to abide by the rules and leave my argumentations for my further career I'll try to post some summaries soon, those will be in the exam for sure...
Your Inkbell
I've found the mistake you have probably meant, Admiral,'beneficial' NOT 'benefitial', isn't it? Unfortunately, my prof has just told me, that there will be no argumentative essays in my exam :( And he added that the one about romantic comedies isn't an explanatory paragraph, because it is a yes-no question. Argh, but this is my favourite type of essay! Anyway, I will have to abide by the rules and leave my argumentations for my further career I'll try to post some summaries soon, those will be in the exam for sure...Your Inkbell
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Admiral
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Inkbell
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- Location: Poland
Summary
Tricky! And I 've checked it so often, even with a spell checker, but for it it was allright. :( Anyway, here's my next work, a summary. First the original text, then my summary. Enjoy it
CURRENT TRENDS IN EDUCATION
A holistic approach to education which involves subjects, ways of thinking and the methods by which children learn and teachers teach is a good starting point for schools in the 21st century. Children in school now may live to be ninety, and some may see the 22nd century - so if education is really society’s investment in its own posterity then a long-term strategy would seem to be vital. All education is a vision of the future, and failure to have such a vision would be a betrayal of youth. Unfortunately it is not so simple to describe what the future might look like, and so planning for an appropriate education for the citizens of tomorrow’s society is not clear-cut.
Some trends seem clear. The numbers of unskilled and semi-skilled workers are in decline, therefore a much higher level of knowledge and skill will be required from those wishing to enter or to remain in employment. The ability to get on with others will become more valued as more jobs are created in service, leisure and recreation rather than in factories.
People may have to retrain significantly several times in their careers, so flexibility and willingness to continue learning are important. Many more people will take part-time jobs or work from home; thus qualities of independence, resourcefulness and adaptability come into their own. In family life, if the nuclear family is to continue to survive, education in the art of creating stable relationships will be needed. The increasing length of time spent in healthy retirement must also be prepared for, as the average life span is increasing and older people are making up a greater percentage of the population.
All of these factors must have an impact on the education programming of the future. It is simply not enough to conceive of a school curriculum as a list of required subjects, however important these may be. In order to develop the range of talents needed for a prosperous future, children must learn in a variety of ways and for a variety of purposes.
Current trends in education - summary
In order to meet the requirements of the future, children will have to accomplish a diversity of personal qualities and skills. Consequently, a meticulously forethought schedule for the employees of the 21st century is crucial. They ought to be highly educated as well as mobile, self-reliant, enterprising, compatible and an easy-going. Nowadays the job market is switching from factory to services and working places as well as requirements are changing. Todays students, as a result, have to be taught to be cooperative and able to suit to new conditions and situations tomorrow. In other words, educational plans should consider all those needs to create a proficient society for the future.
CURRENT TRENDS IN EDUCATION
A holistic approach to education which involves subjects, ways of thinking and the methods by which children learn and teachers teach is a good starting point for schools in the 21st century. Children in school now may live to be ninety, and some may see the 22nd century - so if education is really society’s investment in its own posterity then a long-term strategy would seem to be vital. All education is a vision of the future, and failure to have such a vision would be a betrayal of youth. Unfortunately it is not so simple to describe what the future might look like, and so planning for an appropriate education for the citizens of tomorrow’s society is not clear-cut.
Some trends seem clear. The numbers of unskilled and semi-skilled workers are in decline, therefore a much higher level of knowledge and skill will be required from those wishing to enter or to remain in employment. The ability to get on with others will become more valued as more jobs are created in service, leisure and recreation rather than in factories.
People may have to retrain significantly several times in their careers, so flexibility and willingness to continue learning are important. Many more people will take part-time jobs or work from home; thus qualities of independence, resourcefulness and adaptability come into their own. In family life, if the nuclear family is to continue to survive, education in the art of creating stable relationships will be needed. The increasing length of time spent in healthy retirement must also be prepared for, as the average life span is increasing and older people are making up a greater percentage of the population.
All of these factors must have an impact on the education programming of the future. It is simply not enough to conceive of a school curriculum as a list of required subjects, however important these may be. In order to develop the range of talents needed for a prosperous future, children must learn in a variety of ways and for a variety of purposes.
Current trends in education - summary
In order to meet the requirements of the future, children will have to accomplish a diversity of personal qualities and skills. Consequently, a meticulously forethought schedule for the employees of the 21st century is crucial. They ought to be highly educated as well as mobile, self-reliant, enterprising, compatible and an easy-going. Nowadays the job market is switching from factory to services and working places as well as requirements are changing. Todays students, as a result, have to be taught to be cooperative and able to suit to new conditions and situations tomorrow. In other words, educational plans should consider all those needs to create a proficient society for the future.
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MissLT
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Re: Summary
Spell checker can only check misspelled words. It cannot check your grammar or words that you type right but use them incorrectly in context.Inkbell wrote:Tricky! And I 've checked it so often, even with a spell checker, but for it it was allright.