Please help me evaluate this essay
Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 6:00 pm
Hi, I wrote an essay according to the following topic. Please help me mark it in the range from 1 to 5 points. It would be so much better if you point out mistakes in the writing.
The topic: Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. What is your opinion? Use reasons and examples to support your choice.
Thanks to the increasingly dramatic advance in the Internet and computer science, the world can now be placed in a palm of a man’s hand. If he just curls his fingers up, he can touch every point on the surface of the world. That means he can know many things at his fingertips by sitting in front of a computer. Employing the Internet has been changing the way humans live and brought so many benefits to them. Thus, the information people access from the Internet is valuable.
More than thirty years ago when Internet was an unfamiliar concept, events around the world were collected and reported from one day to the next. People did not have many chances to receive breaking news. All they knew was what had happened on the day before. It could also waste their time receiving unexpected information. With the presence of Internet, they are now free to pick up any news they desire. Since news is easy to be reached, it can help people, for example, avoid an approaching storm in the nick of the time or be aware of nearby crime. Similarly, it can also assist businesses in keeping track of the trends of their consumers or responses from them.
Imagine a student wants to know briefly a particular kind of animal such as polar bears. She hardly goes to the North Pole to observe them. It would take her a lot of time if her teachers are not available or she has to read a stack of books just to find the concise information. Using a computer with an Internet connection, world knowledge on academic subjects is ready for her to explore. A lot of relevant information is shown in less than a second by entering some key words into a search engine. An example of this benefit is the open encyclopedia Wikipedia. This huge source of human knowledge that gives an open access for everyone is updated frequently by people from around the world.
Furthermore, information from the Internet is really helpful in giving tips on ordinary living. Those tips will aid a person with home improvement, maintaining intimacies, or keeping body healthy. This kind of information is generally given by experienced people and completely free. Instead calling the services to do the work, accessing such tips not only helps one saving some money but also gives them some enjoyment and hands-on experience.
Internet has been making the world smaller and smaller. Information can be accessed from anywhere at anytime. It delivers a new entry to the human knowledge which is useful for education and researching where there are no libraries or schools. It also provides critical forecast that can help people out of catastrophes. Internet created a place where people can exchange information and help them live better.
The topic: Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. What is your opinion? Use reasons and examples to support your choice.
Thanks to the increasingly dramatic advance in the Internet and computer science, the world can now be placed in a palm of a man’s hand. If he just curls his fingers up, he can touch every point on the surface of the world. That means he can know many things at his fingertips by sitting in front of a computer. Employing the Internet has been changing the way humans live and brought so many benefits to them. Thus, the information people access from the Internet is valuable.
More than thirty years ago when Internet was an unfamiliar concept, events around the world were collected and reported from one day to the next. People did not have many chances to receive breaking news. All they knew was what had happened on the day before. It could also waste their time receiving unexpected information. With the presence of Internet, they are now free to pick up any news they desire. Since news is easy to be reached, it can help people, for example, avoid an approaching storm in the nick of the time or be aware of nearby crime. Similarly, it can also assist businesses in keeping track of the trends of their consumers or responses from them.
Imagine a student wants to know briefly a particular kind of animal such as polar bears. She hardly goes to the North Pole to observe them. It would take her a lot of time if her teachers are not available or she has to read a stack of books just to find the concise information. Using a computer with an Internet connection, world knowledge on academic subjects is ready for her to explore. A lot of relevant information is shown in less than a second by entering some key words into a search engine. An example of this benefit is the open encyclopedia Wikipedia. This huge source of human knowledge that gives an open access for everyone is updated frequently by people from around the world.
Furthermore, information from the Internet is really helpful in giving tips on ordinary living. Those tips will aid a person with home improvement, maintaining intimacies, or keeping body healthy. This kind of information is generally given by experienced people and completely free. Instead calling the services to do the work, accessing such tips not only helps one saving some money but also gives them some enjoyment and hands-on experience.
Internet has been making the world smaller and smaller. Information can be accessed from anywhere at anytime. It delivers a new entry to the human knowledge which is useful for education and researching where there are no libraries or schools. It also provides critical forecast that can help people out of catastrophes. Internet created a place where people can exchange information and help them live better.