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Request for a Grammar Check of a Formal Letter

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Request for a Grammar Check of a Formal Letter

Postby vgesgera » Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:52 am

Good day to everybody! This is my first time posting in this forum and I’m glad that I have joined your group to further improve my English language skills. I am in need of your assistance in checking the letter that a friend of my written recently. I have limited knowledge of English and your comments here will help me explain to him any error in his letter. I apologize if the letter is in caps lock. I just copied it directly from his word document.

TO,
MIS DEPARTMENT
AGH AHSA

SUB: REQUEST FOR TWO NEW MONITORS

RESPECTED SIR,

THIS LETTER IS TO BRING UNDER YOUR ATTENTION THAT WE ARE LEAFT WITH TWO C.P.U’s HERE IN OUR DEPARTMENT AND TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION ABOUT THE NEW H.I.S SYSTEM AND LACK OF AVAILABILITY OF COMPUTERS IN PHYSICALTHERAPY DEPARTMENT , I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST RESPECTED YOURSELF TO GRANT US WITH TWO NEW MONITORS SO THAT I CAN ENSURE THE SMOOTH FUNCTIONING OF THE DEPARTMENT.

HOPE THAT YOU WILL DO THE NEEDED SO.

THANKING YOU.


Thank you for spending your time reading this and I hope that you lend your extra time commenting on the letter.
vgesgera
New Member
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:39 am
Status: English Learner

Re: Request for a Grammar Check of a Formal Letter

Postby Jargon » Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:48 pm

Respected sir,

I am writing this letter to bring to your attention that we are left with two CPU's here in our department, and taking into consideration the new H.I.S system, and lack of availability of computers in the physical therapy department, I would like to request two new monitors so that I can ensure the smooth functioning of this department.

I hope that you are able to do so.

Thank you.
Jargon
Member
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:35 pm
Status: Other


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