Are you in favor of remarriage of the oldsters?

by **youngyoung** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 4:00 pm

After my grandpa died,my grandma lives alone.During the day time,she would go to the college for the oldsters to have lessons(painting,singing,reading....)It seems she's leading a substantial life.But we can't stop worrying about her.We concern about her lonesome,(especially in the lengthy nights)her healthy--after all, she's over 70.She has always been so independent and opinionated that she refused to live with us.Two weeks ago,she was popped the question.She's uncertain about the marriage though that's quite a nice man.One of the important reasons was that she would have to live in Beijing instead of staying Suzhou if they get married.Then we can't see her very often,though they can take care of each other.What's your opinion?Do you have any suggestions or ideas?

by **kingjack** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 5:50 am

Hi Youngyoung,

My belief is that everyone has to be responsible for their own life, unless the person is not capable of making "sensible and rational" decision.

From what you write, your grandma seems to be able to think for herself "rationally", therefore, I believe as the grandson, you should respect her decision and let her be happy of what she wants to do.

She is already 70+.....her days are limited so the question for you is that you want her to be happy or you want you to be happy for her..???? Remember, what you deem happy for her might not be what she deems happy for herself.

She might move to Beijing and as a caring grandson, you can always visit. Remember, caring is in the heart, in the mind, in the soul, not physical.

Let her be happy, let her go.....I wish your grandma happiness. :R

KINGJACK

by **youngyoung** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 9:31 am

thank you for replying me,kingjack.
BTW,I'm a granddaughter,but not a grandson :R

by **kingjack** » Thu Sep 18, 2003 8:56 am

Hi granddaughter young young,

I am very surprise no one response to your poll.....why ???

Maybe everyone is too young to understand or give opinion....I think I getting old.... :cry

I find your quotation curious ??
"sometimes taking a bath is the best thing to do.
taking a bath won't change anything, but when you're in the tub,you are not responsible for anything"

I find it very interesting.......I do not understand... tub and responsibility ???? Can you explain to me.....if it is not convenient, then it is okay...no problem.

KINGJACK

by **whl626** » Fri Sep 19, 2003 5:03 am

youngyoung wrote:After my grandpa died,my grandma lives alone.During the day time,she would go to the college for the oldsters to have lessons(painting,singing,reading....)It seems she's leading a substantial life.But we can't stop worrying about her.We concern about her lonesome,(especially in the lengthy nights)her healthy--after all, she's over 70.She has always been so independent and opinionated that she refused to live with us.Two weeks ago,she was popped the question.She's uncertain about the marriage though that's quite a nice man.One of the important reasons was that she would have to live in Beijing instead of staying Suzhou if they get married.Then we can't see her very often,though they can take care of each other.What's your opinion?Do you have any suggestions or ideas?

So long as one feels happy with what he or she is doing and is not harmful to anyone. Go ahead. Life is short as the Chinese saying goes

by **Guest** » Fri Sep 19, 2003 10:11 am

kingjack wrote:Hi granddaughter young young,

I am very surprise no one response to your poll.....why ???

Maybe everyone is too young to understand or give opinion....I think I getting old.... :cry

I find your quotation curious ??
"sometimes taking a bath is the best thing to do.
taking a bath won't change anything, but when you're in the tub,you are not responsible for anything"

I find it very interesting.......I do not understand... tub and responsibility ???? Can you explain to me.....if it is not convenient, then it is okay...no problem.

KINGJACK

It's not surprise that people show no interest on this topic.They may perfer something comfy.And it may also have something to do with their ages as you said.

But actually,I'm a teenager,I just entered university.

tub and responsibility You mean my signature pic?There's nothing special meaning .Just enjoy the time when taking a bath.During that time,you needn't worry about your business,displeasures in your work,or any other trivial matters.Instead,we can relax out and out after a day's hardworking.For more,after a bath(or shower),you may smell good and be as fresh as paint :R

by **youngyoung** » Fri Sep 19, 2003 10:14 am

Anonymous wrote:
It's not surprise that people show no interest on this topic.They may perfer something comfy.And it may also have something to do with their ages as you said. But actually,I'm a teenager,I just entered university.

tub and responsibility You mean my signature pic?There's nothing special meaning .Just enjoy the time when taking a bath.During that time,you needn't worry about your business,displeasures in your work,or any other trivial matters.Instead,we can relax out and out after a day's hardworking.For more,after a bath(or shower),you may smell good and be as fresh as paint :R

I wrote it just now,but I forgot to login first,sorry.

by **kingjack** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 2:16 am

Hi youngyoung,

Thanks for the clarification........

It quite true though sometimes after a tired day.........I long for a shower too........sorrie.....my house has no bathtub..... just let the water run thru me for a couple of minutes (cannot too long....water bill is expensive :laugh ), I feel my worries, tireness and of course all the "dirties" washed away......and I will step out of my shower room fresh and ready to go.........(ready to go and sleep

)..........a definite good night sleep and recharge the following day....

KING JACK

by **MissLT** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 8:12 pm

kingjack wrote:Hi Youngyoung,

My belief is that everyone has to be responsible for their own life, unless the person is not capable of making "sensible and rational" decision.

From what you write, your grandma seems to be able to think for herself "rationally", therefore, I believe as the grandson, you should respect her decision and let her be happy of what she wants to do.

She is already 70+.....her days are limited so the question for you is that you want her to be happy or you want you to be happy for her..???? Remember, what you deem happy for her might not be what she deems happy for herself.
She might move to Beijing and as a caring grandson, you can always visit. Remember, caring is in the heart, in the mind, in the soul, not physical.

Let her be happy, let her go.....I wish your grandma happiness. :R

KINGJACK

Exactly!

by **keling** » Mon Jun 20, 2005 11:36 am

the remarriage of aged is a complicated problem especially their son, daughter, grandson or granddaughter.
i believe ,respect the oldsters' decision is the most important thing , as to young young she would not mind her grandma movimg to beijing , because her happy life is there living with her old company
would defer to the aged rather than respect them this is a chinese idiom 恭敬不如从命