how to commit suicide correctly

[Admiral]

Time:
Most of the suicides happen around Chrismas, but that's too old fashioned because there are a lot of other dates. For example the marrying day of one's parents. He can be sure that it won't be celebrated again.

Place:
At home is stupid, because most of the accidents happen here. For one makes a great effort and at the end it won't be noticed. The police only have to find a ladder and a curtain rod, yet the brain on the wall will be counted as an accident, and the gun in one's hand as coincidence. Quotation from a police report: Apparently in the mood to hang up the curtain, the victim slid off the ladder and died in spite of his trying to cling to a gun lying casually beside him.
If you choose a place for your suicide, then please also think of others. Especially of those whom you want to take on a ride of.

Farewell letter:
Don't wait until the last day, but keep sending it away earlier. Therefore, before the time of the suicide. Best is some years earlier. Just think of the increasing postage, and what amount of money could be saved. Moreover it's good to send away this letter earlier, because then one will be in a little pressure. A good farewell letter does'nt have to be very long. Noone will read more than one page, anyway. Leave at short and succinct blames. Use conventional names. Such as: "Tom is to blame". A Tom is certainly around you. Never use names like Augustin or Borrodin- people with this name don't have conscience, or have commited suicide anyway.

Method/Weapon:
Rope: Unimaginative, besides one have to spral out his tongue and that looks absurd.
Tabletts: Generally ok, but one has to use the right ones. An overdose of Garlic Tabletts is good in times of heavy wind. One goes into a train and waits till he will be beaten dead.
Car waste gas: Unusable on the today's cars with high technology filters. A cigarette is more recommended.
To jump in front of a train: Not stylish. Besides there are a lot of cigaretts and colacans on the line, one can fastly get a blood poisoning.
To drive against somewhere with the car: Stylish but unsure. Today there are airbags and electronical stability controls. Use an oldie, but that's too expensive. And all in all, the worst point in suicide with cars is that nobody believes in you afterwards.
See Queen Diana.

Cry for help:
There is nothing more submissive than a warcry at the suicide. Everybody thinks that people should be consequent and should have thought about it carefully.

Or one can search for somebody one hates very much, show him his new shining knife, to have his fingerprint on it, and put the knife between the doorframe and the back.
This somebody should try to explain it to the police.

[MissLT]

I'm torn between the decision of whether I should laugh or shake my head in disbelief.

[Unknownsu]

Wow, this is amazing! A guide to committing suicide correctly! Wonderful! Why isn't this a sticky topic?

[Admiral]

because the chance will be higher that someone really follows these instructions, if more people read it.

[MissLT]

This is wrong! I had a friend who committed suicide. This is not something to joke about.

[Admiral]

I believe that people who want to commit suicide could think that this is really stupid if they read this.

[MissLT]

I believe that people who want to commit suicide could think that this is really stupid if they read this.

When you had a friend who wanted to commit suicide even though that person had gone to therapy, had friends's and family's support, etc. then you'd know how serious the problem was. I wonder if those people who commit suicide cared if they were being stupid to have that idea. I wonder if they cared to not commit suicide because everyone thought it was a stupid idea. I wonder.......

[tikay]

Oh just let me add to the sticky-ness today, I cant cannot help myself....FIRST OF ALL...SUICIDE IS AS SELFISH and unkind as any other act of anger on/in the earthly life...and we all get angry some of us really VERY very angry at times at injustices....the person (like myself:in the past) who attempts to leave the earth by suicide is not someone noble and to be respected although they usually think they are very Noble...and being full with FOOLISH PRIDE they make certain haste to go to a better place...Heaven...and home to us all...the great source...what have you...they take early leave from a life they have asked for
when there are so many other things to do....to heal wounds
(or if they believe that they believe, in a so called hell, they take their chances and thus they are really quite stupid along with being truly shelfish)
... which they do to leave behind anyone who actually did care what happened to them/ the people who would liked to have been able to help them find happiness.

I know from experience because that was me. I took far too much acid (LSD) in my youth...it caused massive hallucinations of parrellel worlds...one of the most recurring being a battle of armegeddeon of which I was quite a major player ( be certain...ego death follows) the spiritual warfare began...i slayed countless demons with my amazing wealth of intelligence in quantum physics...and these facts of the laws of spirit were merely lessons glomed form the universal codex...I channelled the texts of the laws of the universes to win these battles...demons are not too terribly clever...
anyway I am off the point...I am still here and having gestured that I would leave the earthy plane I decided to stay because I was being ridiculous...Anyone who studies the esoteric learns in time that we ALL WANT TO BE HERE we all wanted to come here for these challanges and to leave is cowardly and terribly in effective for...having gone home you eventually become bored with all BEAUTY... you will ask once you are there and tired of heaven to return to the game again...I can assure you, from experience! LOL
and I am sure that the subject is sensitive to people who do not consider it with much weight but when you think about it really what is not made to be humorous at times in the world today...is anything really exempt from finding some comedy within?
(some of us are tired of crying)
I landed myself in the mental ward for my exploring with drugs in my youth... not once but eight times....
(watch "girl interrupted"...and "beautiful mind" and "the game"...and "butterfly effect" and "gothika" and "in america" and "the professional" and "hideous kinky"...to see a bit of how the subject appilies to my life
and thanks for the memories
...suicide...is an incredibly funny subject...for me and I have been there!
I laughed out loud ...thanks Admiral............life is crazy!
Hope that was not too heavy for some...peace!

[tikay]

When after my seventh attempt to end all evil in the earths atmosphere...i found myself at a gathering (in Kona Hawaii) down the road from my home...and there sat the Dalai lama looking up at me (Thanksgiving Feast...Stupa blessing day) on Keei road...cant recall the date.........he looked up at me and told me to stay................so i have not since tried to leave...and twenty or so years later....He was right! I AM
nam myo ho ren ge kho....
PLEASE STAY>>>><<<<JUST STAY!
LOVEtracey

[Golfygirl]

That is terrible How could you have put so much thought into that subject I already viewed some of your other writings and this one is definitely on the flip side. Oh my goodness
I guess I will say thanks for your openess. Hopefully it will help someone in that situation.