From Paracelsus (not from me):
Who doesn't know, he doesn't love.
Who can't do anything, doesn't know anything.
But who knows,
he loves, notices and also sees.
The more knowledge one has,
the greater is the love.
Who thinks that all fruits will be ripe at the same time with the strawberries,
he doesn't understand anything of the grapes.
(Why I quote this is because everything I say could be related to this poem)
As I talked about theory, now I talk about practise.
So, to be more precise: Only to think of oneself is also stupid.
There is a girl you like very much, then, according to the definition (see last post), you should
1. not deactivate your brain and
2. not deactivate her brain.
So, if you really want her, you should act rationally and you should also give her the chance to act rationally. There are 4 rules I repeat because I think it's stupid to say where you have to look at in tikay's post.
1. care for her
Why does somebody care for his car? -Because he owned hard-working money for it.
Why does somebody care for a plant? -Because he watered it every day and watched it growing big.
Somebody loves things for which he made an effort, and he makes effort for things he love. (
So I don't often say that I love anyone)
2. feel responsible for her
I think I don't have to explain this. This is not a duty, but something voluntary. That means you have to know what she likes or what she wants, otherwise you don't have to wonder that she looks for somebody else.
3. respect her
That has nothing to do with fear of a monster, that is the ability to see the girl who she really is. That means that you really want to know about her, what she likes, what lacks she has, whether you are sure about her and so on.
However concerning a girl you mostly have to know about her emotional needs.
That also means that one himself
has to be able to live independently, otherwise it will end in someone controlling someone else, or two blind persons running around somewhere. That's mostly why I'm against having sex at 14 or 15.
4. brake the imaginary picture
You know, some guys see a girl who is very very pretty, and they chase for her. Some girls see a boy who doesn't look good and have ugly stuff on, so they think he is reliable.
That's a very wrong attitude.
We have to brake this image, and to want her although this image is broken.
But I think we will be really stupid if we do 1.-3. to a person who we don't know that much, before whom there is still a prejudice of us.