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Please help me to correct my plot summary

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Please help me to correct my plot summary

Postby gura » Sat Sep 05, 2009 1:30 am

Hello. I wrote a plot summary of the short story "Necklace" by Guy De Maupassant. I had to write within 200 to 300 words, but mine was 324 words. I don't know what I should omit. Also, I am not satisfied with my usage of vocabularies, word choosing, and grammar. I appreciate your help!

Plot Summary: Necklace

Necklace is the story of a very poor woman's huge life changes by encountering a necklace. The woman, named Mathilde Loisel who is poor and married a clerk, is described as a pretty woman and trying to have a rich life delusion because of her cheap belongings. One day her husband received a party invitation card for him ans his wife, but Mathilde does not want to go to the party since she does not have a dress for the party, so her husband gave her the money to buy her dress by giving up his next summer vacation. However, she is still not satisfied because she thought that only dress looks awful, so she went to her friend, named Mrs. Jeanne Forrestier who is very rich and beautiful, to rend her superb diamond necklace. At the party, Mathilde looked so beautiful and every men looked and danced with her, and she did not leave until four o' clock in the morning. Her husband came to the place of the party to pick her up, and they went back to their home, but Mathilde found out that the necklace is not around her neck anymore. Her husband looked everywhere with utmost effort, but he could not find it. He finally finds a shop where had a necklace of diamond that looks exactly the same, so he decides to buy it using the money that his father had left for him and borrowing the money. Mathilde took the necklace to return to Mrs. Forrestier. Mathilde was thinking whether telling the truth is the best or not, but she eventually decided not to speak the truth. Mr. and Mrs. Loisel had a hardship in their life, and they took ten years to pay the loan back for the necklace. Mathilde learned how to do a house work. She meets Mrs. Forrestier unexpectedly, and Mathilde finds out that the Mrs. Forrestier's necklace was not a real diamond.
gura
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Re: Please help me to correct my plot summary

Postby gura » Sat Sep 05, 2009 11:18 pm

Hello. I just found out that my plot summary was mixed with present tense and past tense, so I fixed to all present tense. Do you think it is much better than before, or do I need more effort to fix it? Thank you!

Plot Summary: Necklace

Necklace is the story of a very poor woman's huge life changes by encountering a necklace. The woman, named Mathilde Loisel who is poor and married a clerk, is described as a pretty woman and trying to have a rich life delusion because of her cheap belongings. One day her husband receives a party invitation card for him ans his wife, but Mathilde does not want to go to the party since she does not have a dress for the party, so her husband gives her the money to buy her dress by giving up his next summer vacation. However, she is still not satisfied because she thinks that only dress looks awful, so she goes to her friend, named Mrs. Jeanne Forrestier who is very rich and beautiful, to borrow her superb diamond necklace. At the party, Mathilde looks so beautiful and every men watch her and dance with her. Her husband comes to the place of the party to pick her up, and they go back to their home, but Mathilde found out that the necklace is not around her neck anymore. Her husband searches everywhere with utmost effort, but he can not find it. He finally finds a shop where has a necklace of diamond that looks exactly the same, so he decides to buy it using the money that his father had left for him and borrowing the money. Mathilde takes the necklace to return to Mrs. Forrestier. Mathilde thinks whether telling the truth is the best or not, and she eventually decided not to speak the truth. Mr. and Mrs. Loisel had a hardship in their life, and it takes ten years to pay the loan back for the necklace. Mathilde learns how to do a house work. She meets Mrs. Forrestier unexpectedly, and Mathilde finds out that the Mrs. Forrestier's necklace is not a real diamond.
gura
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Posts: 6
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Status: English Learner

Re: Please help me to correct my plot summary

Postby IvyEyesEditing » Tue Sep 08, 2009 11:49 pm

Hi Gura!

Actually, your verb tense looks pretty good here!

I see more issues with subject-verb agreement, and general issues with syntax, semantics and flow. We will get back to you shortly with some suggestions for revision.

All best,
Paul
Ivy Eyes Editing
Ivy Eyes Editing
http://www.ivyeyesediting.com
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