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please correct my essay! THanks!

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please correct my essay! THanks!

Postby takami » Wed Apr 14, 2010 1:42 pm

There is an opinion that living in a town or city is better than living in the countryside. In my opinion, whether living in a town or living in the countryside has its own interest.
In a city, living stardand is better. Living in a city depend on more machine and technology. There are many model things. People in cities only want to stay at home to relax if they have to work or go to school. At home, they have televisions, computers, … which help them know what happens around the world without going out. But machines have no feelings, no thoughts. We can’t share our sadness or our joy with a machine. We can’t talk about our hobbies, our friends, our life… with a machine. Moreover, relationships between people and people in cities are not really friendly. They are neighbors but they talk with together not much, they may only say “hello, goodmorning, …” then they are busy with their work.
In the countryside, although life is not as well as in cities but people are very friendly and always help each other. They know almost people in their countryside. Eachnight, they often gather together, they talk joyfully about everything. Spiritual life in the countryside is better than in cities or towns.
To conclude, everywhere you live, eachperson should know how to equal between your material life and your spiritual life. You will have a life more stronger and happier.
takami
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Re: please correct my essay! THanks!

Postby saadk » Sat Oct 23, 2010 1:14 am

hi takami
if you want to write an essay , the essay should be divided into 3 parts which are introduction ,body and conclusion .

In indroduction , you have to write about what you want to write about it .
for example ,
Recently , many people have moved from the contryside to a city , looking >>>> . Some people believe that living in a city is better than living in the contryside. However , other people think in the opposite. In this essay , I will precent both side and I give my opinion .

then you will start in the body :
the first pragraph about people who believe living in a city is better ( give the reasons )

the second pragraph about people who believe living in the contryside is better ( give the reasons)


then the last thing is the conclusion
for example
In conclusion , ( you choose the best reason from the first pragraph and the best reason from the second pragraph then you will give your opinion)

good luck my friend
Saad
(My english is a second langauge )
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Re: please correct my essay! THanks!

Postby kenzo » Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:59 pm

Nice Tips Saad

Thx alot
kenzo
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