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My letter to the editor

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My letter to the editor

Postby Levelgig » Tue Oct 01, 2013 8:06 pm

Hey everyone,

my name`s Markus and I`m from Germany and I`m new here, so if what I am about to do, is in any way, shape or form not allowed in this forum, just tell me ;)
I am totally in love with the English language and I`m aspiring to sharpen my skills as best as I can, so I would like you to have a look at this text I wrote and tell me, whether there are any mistakes, I`m pretty sure there are some...
This was basically a mediation we did in school and I already had my friend, who is American, look over it, but my teacher underlined some stuff and I would simply like to know whether she was being nit-picky or not....

The Bavarian response to “All you can eat”….”Bring your own food”

If there is something Germany is known for throughout the entire world it is beer. All over the globe people speak of the famous Bavarian product and its rich taste. But there is arguably no better way of drinking it than in one of Germany`s many beer gardens that sprout from the ground like mushrooms in a forest. But what is the reason for their immense popularity? To answer this question we have to travel back in time and take a look at the origin of this special establishment. Back in the 16th century, Bavarian legislation had it, that businesses such as breweries could only produce goods from September to April. This embargo put the breweries in dire straits, since they had no way of keeping their beer chilled and as we all know there is nothing as savory and refreshing as a cool drink during the summertime. Soon complaints started to arise and the excellent reputation of the German beer was starting to dwindle. The brewers began to look for places to store their goods, but for all intents and purposes there were none to be found, except for stockrooms that were built into hills and banks. These places were often visited by curious excursionists, thus many brewers sold their beer right there. However, they soon found themselves in strife with the local innkeepers who were both surprised and annoyed by the sudden new competition. In the wake of this development a new law was passed that forbade pouring beer outside of official taverns, but nobody actually paid the slightest regard to it. Had the Bavarian King not intervened and legalized the beer gardens, under the condition that they had to refrain from serving food, the fight would have surely escalated. And so it happened, that customers began to bring their own food with them, thus laying the foundation for the “Brotzeitrecht”, which still applies today and makes going to a beer garden so very special.

Some of the things my teacher marked as mistakes were "excursionists" , "pouring beer" , "produce goods" , "sprout from the ground like mushrooms" , "keep the beer chilled" , "Bavarian legislation had it, that.." (I know that you usually say "Rumour or legend has it, that..") and "embargo"

Thanks to everyone who invests their time of leisure in helping me and reading through this text, I appreciate it very much!

Markus
Levelgig
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Re: My letter to the editor

Postby solzen » Mon Nov 04, 2013 10:15 pm

I really enjoyed reading this {-:

I would say "Back in the 16th century, Bavarian legislation dictated that businesses such as breweries could only produce goods from September to April. This restriction put the breweries in dire straits..." (I think an embargo limits the movement or trade of goods, not the production.)

Unless beer gardens are still popping up like mushrooms, perhaps it should be "that have sprouted from..." If your teacher was just being nit-picky, maybe she was just pointing out that beer gardens aren't literally from the ground, in which case you could just say "beer gardens that have sprouted like mushrooms in a forest." OR...to be even more clear that it's only a figure of speech, you could say "beer gardens that seem to have sprouted from the ground like mushrooms in a forest."

I'm not sure why your teacher would mark those other things as wrong; you should ask her.
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