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Need a review on my English

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Need a review on my English

Postby lengftw » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:45 pm

Hi,

I will be great-full for someone's help with the following text I wrote:
Last summer I have had a great vacation. I traveled with my family to Barcelona and it was my first time abroad. I had a lot of fun seeing another country. We stayed there for a short time - only a week. But we saw many things in that short time.
The most noticeable thing there were the unique buildings and the hot weather. I think the buildings are the result of a famous architect and the culture.
While we were there we watched a football game in a great stadium. We also have been in the museum of Picasso.
overall, it was a great experience and I am very glad I have been there. I wish to see other places in the world in the future.


Thank you!!!
lengftw
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Re: Need a review on my English

Postby Serendipity » Thu Dec 12, 2013 12:23 pm

I wouldn't change much of this. I removed a few words, took out a full stop and swapped it for a comma so that it flowed easier.

Last summer I had a great vacation. I traveled with my family to Barcelona and it was my first time abroad. I had a lot of fun seeing another country. We only stayed there for a week, but we saw many things in that short time.
The most noticeable things were the unique buildings which are the result of a famous architect, the hot weather and the culture.
While we were there we watched a football game in a great stadium. We also went to the museum of Picasso.
Overall, it was a great experience and I am very glad I have been there. I wish to see other places in the world in the future.
Serendipity
New Member
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Dec 12, 2013 11:59 am
Status: Other


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