EnglishClub
Home Learn English Teach English MyEnglishClub

Please note that these ESL Forums are NOT part of MyEnglishClub. To post at these ESL Forums please register ↑ first.


all people love the US!!!

Let others know the latest news, or discuss it with them.

Moderators: Vega, EC

all people love the US!!!

Postby real_lord » Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:51 pm

Read what found on the Net and have a good time:)))
------------------------
Hu's On First
Here is a meeting between the President and his National Security Advisor.
- (We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

IT"S OVER.
real_lord
 

Postby mercy » Mon Feb 07, 2005 4:01 pm

hehe :D
great



thanx man
^עידן^
User avatar
mercy
Silver Member
 
Posts: 98
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2004 2:35 pm
Location: Israel

Postby Ms.A.Z » Mon Feb 07, 2005 4:16 pm

It was long and to be honest when I read it at first I couldn't understand any thing but when I read it again i did ha ha ha. It was really funny. :wink:

If you have some more jokes then please post it here again. :roll:
User avatar
Ms.A.Z
Platinum Member
 
Posts: 687
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2004 11:23 am
Status: Other

Postby gill » Mon Feb 07, 2005 5:57 pm

lol, i ve read it before, but its still very funny.

"George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir. "
:D :D :D
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity
User avatar
gill
Silver Member
 
Posts: 70
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2005 10:29 pm
Location: Slovakia

Postby Honey » Wed Feb 09, 2005 6:14 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

It was funny! :wink:
Honey
Silver Member
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2004 12:46 pm
Location: Colombia

Postby Dithzie » Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:29 am

I had a good laugh when I read this. It's hilariously funny. Hope you post more of this. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hope the Americans won't take offense over this one...
Iamwhoam
User avatar
Dithzie
Member
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:17 am
Location: Asia

Hello:)))

Postby real_lord » Thu Feb 10, 2005 8:12 pm

I don't think Americans would offend. These people - in my opinion - seem to care about anything but their September 9.11 and money. Naive and stupid these who believe in any war on terror (excluding propaganda on their TV). All we can envy them is their the latest technology and that's all. As far as I know some of their waste dumps are as tragic as beautiful websites their produce about environmental protection but all must pay in US and no other philosophy there.
Their big advantage is the country is still far from overpopulation (generally). So called living space still seems to matter. I will always be laughing at people who believe in US.
Emipres rise and empires vanish. Some time ago Alexander the Great made his empire and Romans made their. Both collapsed.
There are days - like today-when reading the stuff like above make me really sick not laughing. And the more I wish an A-bomb to US for their blindness for tsunami victims. They don't want to see anything but their war, next threats for their fat asses from Korean neclear power (I can see a threat for me because of US nuclear power rather than because of Korean one). AMERICA SUCKS.
No comments please.
real_lord:)))
real_lord
 

Postby Hardi » Thu Feb 10, 2005 9:40 pm

At this moment, I think it's better to be American than European... America is free of real_lord. Well I'm was sick about seeing Mr Bushes toothache face in tv (3 years in row) after 11 but.. seems that press, and even Bush is tired at last..

Well I hope real_lords prev post was irony.

NB. Actually I'm anyway Estonian not europen.
Hardi
Rough Diamond Member
 
Posts: 1865
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 7:44 pm
Location: European Union
Status: Other

You sound interesting but

Postby real_lord » Fri Feb 11, 2005 6:38 am

my version is still different than yours. I feel myself part of Europe and I feel it very strongly. Europe started in Rome and Rome is everlasting city. I mean not Italy with Mr. Berlusconi but Rome with Vatican. Maybe because during last decade Poland has had a Pope in Rome I feel strong bounds with this city or maybe because of fact that I have visited this country many times. Don't know. I realise Poland is seen as a country of East - under influence of Russia mostly. However I don't feel any emotional bonds of mine with East. People from East - I mean closer to Russia part of Poland seem to me to be much worse real lords than British real lords for example. The same greed everywhere to be richer and richer and their only idea what to do with their own nations at the expense of which they make their money is to join EU and let them to work there.
So I think - because I want to have normal life that it doesn't make sense for me to feel Polish when I have neither job no flat in my country (forget about any social securities as deals my unableness to work). Would you be proud of being Polish in my case? Probably not. I don't like neither communism nor Poles though I am from Poland. Hahahaha:(((.
real_lord
real_lord
 

Postby Hardi » Fri Feb 11, 2005 9:36 am

Well, maybe it was premature to tell that I'm not european. If I look cloosely, I dont know enough about europe to say such things.. But I'm a little skeptic about EU... Actually I'm must thank Poland, who fighted for better pact when joining with EU. Some time I'm feel that estonian public servants and government is a bunch of grovellers... I hope it's not so.

Rome don't mean anything for me. Estonia is almost atheistic country. It was Christian befofre worldwar II but.. I think it's good, that estonia is not so religious. In my viewpoint is all belivers.. well I dont know this word in english..

In bast, cristian was exported here by force. It's not local religion. Local religion is almost forget. Only what I know, it called Tara.
Hardi
Rough Diamond Member
 
Posts: 1865
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 7:44 pm
Location: European Union
Status: Other

Next

Return to Current News

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests