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What age children stop sleeping with their parents?

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What age children should not share the same bed with their parents?

First born
4
36%
1
0
No votes
2
0
No votes
3
1
9%
4
1
9%
5
5
45%
 
Total votes : 11

What age children stop sleeping with their parents?

Postby MissLT » Fri Jul 22, 2005 6:56 am

Nursing and nurturing children are human's nature. People in hunting-and-gathering food group nurse their kids since the day they are born up till they are around five years old or so. Not only that, they share the same bed with their kids. In other words, the whole nuclear family: father, mother and children go to sleep in the same room at night. It provides a special bonding relationship between mother/parents with the kids.
On the other hand, the food-producing food group, which is us nowadays, nurse our kids up till when they are around two years old, and we stop nursing them anymore. Not only that most of people, in general, don't let the kids sleep with us to create an independence training within themselves. As we know, the more time we spend to nurse our children, the less babies we'll produce.
Modern women can't nurse their babies for long based on their job, family's situation, etc. My questions, at what age do you think we should stop nursing our babies? At what age do you think children should not share the same bed with their parents? And if nursing and nurturing babies more slowed down the increasing rate of population, should we choose to nurse and nurture our kids for a long period of time despite our job's need?
Last edited by MissLT on Sat Jul 23, 2005 1:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Dixie » Fri Jul 22, 2005 12:10 pm

Children should never share the same bed with their parents. They should learn to sleep on their own since early ages. Otherwise they will become dependant on their parents and will find it harder to sleep on their own later.
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Postby frengo » Fri Jul 22, 2005 12:38 pm

Dixie wrote:Children should never share the same bed with their parents. They should learn to sleep on their own since early ages. Otherwise they will become dependant on their parents and will find it harder to sleep on their own later.


Well said
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Postby MissLT » Sat Jul 23, 2005 1:28 am

Pros
Cons

Families of half of the world have a co-sleeping. Mostly it's because of family's economic situation; however, there is no link that the childrent of those families will turn out to be weaklings in a society compared to children who don't share the same bed with their parents, to my belief. I, myself, lean towards to co-sleeping because I think co-sleeping will embrace the bonding between the parents and the kids. I've seen kids who have co-sleeping with their parents value family's traditions, look after their parents, don't put their parents to nursing home, and have a special, understanding bonding with their parents more than kids who don't have a co-sleeping with their parents.
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Postby Shazzam » Sat Jul 23, 2005 1:57 am

I think really children should never sleep in the same bed as their parents. Not only for the children but for the parents too. However, I realise in some instances it is going to happen. I have five children and the only one that ever shared me bed (for one night here and there) was my youngest child; who suffered from a sleep disorder. She sometimes forgot to breathe when she was asleep!

I really don't agree that it is a bonding experience. You should be bonding with your children during the day by being involved with their play, education, sports etc. Sleep-time is just THAT!

It is hard being a parent and sleep deprevation only makes it harder.
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Postby MissLT » Sat Jul 23, 2005 2:18 am

shazzam1452 wrote: my youngest child; who suffered from a sleep disorder. She sometimes forgot to breathe when she was asleep!

Wow, this is serious. How is she doing so far?

shazzam1452 wrote: I really don't agree that it is a bonding experience. You should be bonding with your children during the day by being involved with their play, education, sports etc. Sleep-time is just THAT!

Modern women spend four to eight hours a day for work, same thing for the men; therefore, the children spend most of their time at nursing daycare or with their babysitters. When the parents get home from work, there are only several hours left to bond with their kids. Thus, when children sleep with their busy parents at night, the hugging, the closeness will bring them warm feelings and avoid the feeling of being neglected.
My sister and my brother slept with my mother since the day they were born up till five, so they have a better relationship with my mother than I do. When I was born up till five years of age, I share the same bed with my god-mother, and to be truthful, I feel close to her more than to my own mother. I could see myself hugging her, but it's quite hard to do that with my mother. To me, sleep time is not just that.
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Postby Danyet » Sun Jul 24, 2005 6:53 am

LennyeTranis exactly right about this. Many cultures including traditional American Indians do this. (I mean before the white man came along) I think that it is just residue of stuffy victorian values that make a lot of westerners uncomfortable about this.
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Postby MissLT » Sun Jul 24, 2005 5:10 pm

danyet wrote: LennyeTranis exactly right about this. Many cultures including traditional American Indians do this. (I mean before the white man came along) I think that it is just residue of stuffy victorian values that make a lot of westerners uncomfortable about this.

Westerners mostly think co-sleeping won't create an independence training for their kids since the kids will rely on them. However, when I was a kid (same thing for kids I've seen) I knew when "no" was "no" and if my mom said she wouldn't do something for me, it was serious. No nagging.
My nephews were born in the States, and their mother was advised to let them sleep alone to be independent, but she went against the advice; she let them sleep with her and her husband until they are around five. The first son and the second son now have their own room, except the third one who is only four. They're doing fine to me. They haven't turned out weaklings or sissies.
There should be an equal time of independence and dependence. If the kid is too independent since he/she was a kid, he/she won't rely on anything, even family values, traditions and so on. And it's not a good result for creating an independence training. Family always comes first.
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Postby Shazzam » Wed Jul 27, 2005 9:23 am

danyet wrote:LennyeTranis exactly right about this. Many cultures including traditional American Indians do this. (I mean before the white man came along) I think that it is just residue of stuffy victorian values that make a lot of westerners uncomfortable about this.


I think it comes down to your lifestyle. I am a stay at home mother. I left my career after the birth of my second child. As I witnessed the deterioration of my first childs development in daycare situations. I have always committed myself to the day to day care of my children. I'm not saying that all mother's should do the same. I just don't understand the benefit of SLEEPING with your children. I mean think about it you are asleep...What is happening?

In my opinion quality time is heaps better than quantity of time anyway. There is actually more medical evidence supporting not sleeping in the same bed with your children than for it in Australia.
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Postby Shazzam » Wed Jul 27, 2005 9:29 am

Hi there; she is fine it was a sleep disorder that was brought on by acute tonsilitis. Pretty scarry at the time!

I believe every person has a right to do what the and the children feel comfortable with. I don't have a problem at all with parents that chose to share their bed with their children; to whatever age they want really. Age limits don't need to apply.

My personal opinion is not to (where possible). I mean you will still having camping holidays etc; where of course you will have the same bed.

I really don't think it is that big a deal either way. If the parents are happy and the children are happy its great.

Some parents do let their children sleep with them though; then they want them to stop and that is when their difficulties start.

So my advice is if you are going to do it and you are happy with it great. If you are not happy with and you started it in the first place; too bad!

:lol:
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