Virginity

[Anahita]

I knew you would think this way.

Grazie Cara

unlike some men who are choosing their partner because of the sexual elements like virginity, being hot and such,

But to me this has nothing to do with dumping one person because that person is not good in bed. In my perspective, there's no such thing as being bad in bed. I mean, there's something as don't know what to do in bed. Yeah, I agree to that because I think don't know what to do in bed has no association with being bad in bed. However, totally being bad in bed? What's that?

Its true.If you love some one really and your emotions are so powerful, your passion will be led by your instincts and then its quite possible even a naive couple turn into a sex bomb without any pervious experiments! But it only happens when both sex and love work together. When a man (or woman) limits and dedicates her/his attention and will only to one of these factors, basically he/she loses the chances for coordinating with her/his partner's other's aspects as well. I think depend on conditions and situation, being bad in bed has its own definitions and samples but the conclusion is always the same. Both woman and man feel some thing is not RIGHT, or missed and forgotten. They don't feel relaxed and satisfied after intercourse, mostly feeling puzzled or even some times frustrated. then I guess the time for them to do some thing about their realtionship before losing it for ever.

But unfortunatly its some thing that happens out there and many people are getting hurt because of it...

Who are those people? From where I live, people don't get dumped for being bad in bed. They get dumped for being a bitch, ~, skank, obsessive, control freak, insensitive, dumb, etc. but no being bad in bed.

Well, I am really glad to hear such a things are not happening at your side but as i said before my statements have been arranged on what i have seen at my current location, what i have read around or seen at the circle of the people that i know, the friends that have witnessed their problems and troubles by my own eyes...*sighs* its happening and its so unfair and unacceptable. that's why while i respect the freedom of choice for every one, including for the men who are looking for a virgin and finding such a girls more better for their relationships but in a same time i cant tolerate to see some one is using of a sexual element like virginity for classifying women/men into the BAD or GOOD, BITCH or ANGEL. its very primitive and really horrible point of view about the world. after all we are all humans and deserve the equal share of love, life and attention.

[Admiral]

Women also classify men in "having money"/"not having money"

I think this is not good, too

[Danyet]

Women also classify men go out with his stupoid friends drinking schnapps all the timein "having money"/"not having money"

I think this is not good, too

Yes it is good! Women are supposed to find a guy that can actually take care of the family and not just and not just laze about in a lawn chair in the backyard or go out drinking with his stupid friends all the time. Chicks need a go-getter or someone who shows promise.

[MissLT]

Its true.If you love some one really and your emotions are so powerful, your passion will be led by your instincts and then its quite possible even a naive couple turn into a sex bomb without any pervious experiments! But it only happens when both sex and love work together.

Yup!

When a man (or woman) limits and dedicates her/his attention and will only to one of these factors, basically he/she loses the chances for coordinating with her/his partner's other's aspects as well. I think depend on conditions and situation, being bad in bed has its own definitions and samples but the conclusion is always the same. Both woman and man feel some thing is not RIGHT, or missed and forgotten.

I'm gonna borrow the last sentence in the previous quote of yours that I have above, But it only happens when both sex and love work together.

When love is present, sex is intimacy. When lust is present, sex is sex. And I can understand if someone stopped calling someone else because the booty call didn't turn out like s/he expected. After all, it was just a lust.

If Both woman and man feel some thing is not RIGHT, or missed and forgotten, then I don't think the love is still around. It's gone, so it doesn't count, right? The couple now has only one reason to stay together, the sex. And if they can't even get that last thing right, what's the use of wasting each other's time, right?

I, personally, wound dump a booty caller if he couldn't give me what I expected in bed, but I wouldn't dump my loved one because he didn't give me it as long as there are ways to work out the sex problems with him.

There are sooooooo many ways to enrich your bed life. Copulation is not the must and only way to do it. Foreplay, toys, erotic talk, oral, etc. to get it going good. That's why even an incompetent man can give his loved one the best time ever.

Check the human female orgasm/Vaginal versus clitoral orgasms section to see what I mean.

Here

[Oriani]

Wow.. pretty topic

[Admiral]

Yes it is good! Women are supposed to find a guy that can actually take care of the family and not just and not just laze about in a lawn chair in the backyard or go out drinking with his stupid friends all the time. Chicks need a go-getter or someone who shows promise.

Then men are also supposed to search after virgins.
Maybe that's all the same, women think that men who have money can take care of the family instead of being lazy all day, and men think that virgins can stay faithful longer than non-virgins.
All depends on world view, haha...

[Anahita]

Wow, Len, thanks for the link. It was very interesting and I can say I learned many things from it, really wonderful.

Now after reading these details I prefer to not enter into a very deep state of discussion about sex and how it works (due to lack of personal experience ). But as I said before my statements were arranged on what I had seen and heard in real so probably I am not qualified enough to go around this subject that how sex might be improved and how much it can be effective and such. but still I am trying to take a look at it some how.

When love is present, sex is intimacy. When lust is present, sex is sex. And I can understand if someone stopped calling someone else because the booty call didn't turn out like s/he expected. After all, it was just a lust.

Agreed but I would like to go further than this. I mean even when you are doing it just for lust, the image you have in your mind during doing it is some how related to love. Like when you closing your eyes and imagining making love with some one that you love while in real you are busy with doing it a stranger person. Sex and love should work together so we can have the enough desire/fuel for going on through this. if one of these elements couldn’t be found around, our instincts will help us by imagining/ simulating it so we can go on any way and under any condition. that's the power of flexibility of our nature which lets us to fill the empty place of a factor with the illusion of it. And still the pleasure will be the same at the end.

If Both woman and man feel some thing is not RIGHT, or missed and forgotten, then I don't think the love is still around. It's gone, so it doesn't count, right? The couple now has only one reason to stay together, the sex. And if they can't even get that last thing right, what's the use of wasting each other's time, right?

Well, I cant say denial since I haven’t been through such condition personally (thanks god!lol) but according to what I have read and heard, most of people are not so aware of their emotions and consciences at the first place so they can't judge their condition clearly when it happens for the first time. Its true when such a thing happens it means one of these factor's are not working properly but it doesn’t mean it has been lost completely. It's quite possible that its not functioning in the way it should be and it can be fixed (like you said). But when do you know one of these elements have been gone for ever? When you don’t even try for making it better, when you just stop thinking about improving your relationship since you don’t feel any desire and passion inside yourself for going on any more. that’s the time it is finished, but again its just my idea.

I, personally, wound dump a booty caller if he couldn't give me what I expected in bed, but I wouldn't dump my loved one because he didn't give me it as long as there are ways to work out the sex problems with him.

Cara, you just read my mind, same here. If I love a man its first for his personality and how much he loves me. I wont be so worry about sex cause I have a powerful imagination and always can see him through my Love's eye. My beloved man is the most sexiest man in the whole world to me and I will do any thing to please him and myself.

There are sooooooo many ways to enrich your bed life. Copulation is not the must and only way to do it. Foreplay, toys, erotic talk, oral, etc. to get it going good. That's why even an incompetent man can give his loved one the best time ever.

So true. Most of these ways like sex toys, erotic calls and such are working on improving our imagination/responces about one of these factors (sex/Love)and push us forward into doing it better and better so we can keep the balance between these two. I second you.

[MissLT]

Wow, Len, thanks for the link. It was very interesting and I can say I learned many things from it, really wonderful.

It'll be helpful somehow in the future, so don't forget it. It's linked to other areas of intimacy.

Now after reading these details I prefer to not enter into a very deep state of discussion about sex and how it works (due to lack of personal experience ).

Don't! All the virgins I know tended to try out what they'd heard with their bfs after several chats with me. One of my coworkers at work is an example. Up till now she still asks me about those advices sometimes.

Agreed but I would like to go further than this. I mean even when you are doing it just for lust, the image you have in your mind during doing it is some how related to love. Like when you closing your eyes and imagining making love with some one that you love while in real you are busy with doing it a stranger person.

Maybe it happens to some other people; it doesn't work this way for me. Someone as my booty caller must be hot, physically and sexually. I do drink, but I barely get drunk. Therefore, the effect of after a night at a bar and wake up next to a pig doesn't work on me. That's why I don't have to put an imagine of my ideal man in my mind to get it going, for my booty callers are mainly guys I know, but can't find the chemistry to date them.

Sex and love should work together so we can have the enough desire/fuel for going on through this. if one of these elements couldn’t be found around, our instincts will help us by imagining/ simulating it so we can go on any way and under any condition. that's the power of flexibility of our nature which lets us to fill the empty place of a factor with the illusion of it. And still the pleasure will be the same at the end.

Well, it still sounds like a different kinda love, though. I don't count it as couple-love since you and that guy might probably imagine the ideal person in your way to get things going smoothly because of the lack of couple-love. However, sometimes sex is just sex. Sometimes, you do it because you need it, not because you love to do it with the person you're going to do it with for the rest of your life. That's why there is no love attached, and people feel okay to call it off when they've found the one person they would like to share the intimacy with forever.

But when do you know one of these elements have been gone for ever? When you don’t even try for making it better, when you just stop thinking about improving your relationship since you don’t feel any desire and passion inside yourself for going on any more. that’s the time it is finished, but again its just my idea.

I think humans have an instinct of giving up at some point. I think it happens when the mentality goes from I'm gonna work it out to I'm tired of working it out, I don't think anything will ever change, or I think I should be moving on since there are other fish in the sea as well.

When this mentality happens, it's the last thread, which is also slipping off your hands slowly.

Cara, you just read my mind, same here. If I love a man its first for his personality and how much he loves me. I wont be so worry about sex cause I have a powerful imagination and always can see him through my Love's eye. My beloved man is the most sexiest man in the whole world to me and I will do any thing to please him and myself.

Exactly! And this is why I think the virginity, fat or thin, ugly or beautiful, rich or poor, etc. is totally ~ standing next to the love you have for that person. One should love the person for the way s/he makes your heart smile, your stomach has butterflies, your feelings of time flying fast when being together, your security feelings are developed, and so on.

[sweethuman]

Definitely