Sorry...but during my acquaintance with japanese (from movies and direct acquaintance), they seem to be too formal, a bit clumsy, and less friendly
. Once again sorry...perhaps my opinion is very subjective. However, I'm always wondering how the relationship between men and women, husband and wife among japanese people. Because I think they do not express themselves openly. It is rigid...you know...like the relationship between employee and employer.
They also seem less romantic.
I don't know ...maybe any japanese here can straighten my opinion. Do you express your feeling ( such as love: between children and parents, husbands and wives, friends) frankly to each other?
My opinion exactly.
you know, Japaneses may act kind and friendly with others on the surface but it is just a form of social manners and there is no deep meaning of friendship behind this act. it just means being polite and neat, that's all. they never use the word LOVE, if you say such a thing to them, it will freak them out. kissing your dear one in public is a big NO. and if you act lovey dovey with your fiancee while you are in a date, people will look at you like you are a freak.
hiding your emotions behind a mask of politeness and smiling calmly and composedly is a one of the fundamental basics of social manners in their culture. as long as you don't take their smiles seriously and act like you don't care, it will be fine and you will get along well but if you think you can expect them to treat you like a real friend, like caring about you and such... then you are terribly mistaken.
talking based on the personal experiment, once I had a Japanese friend, or at least I was thinking we are friends. we met in a chat room and became kind of close. always were talking about different subjects, playing music for each other, sending SMS to each other and I was looking at her with kind of admiration because she was an intellectual lady who knew many things regarding different cultures and philosophy. but suddenly she just stopped talking with me like she was avoiding me and it made me totally confused. for months I didn't know what was the reason behind this, I tried to talk to her but she didn't answer me clearly. at that time I always were sending daily SMS to my friends wishing them a good day and such. after avoiding me for months, she suddenly sent a message to me and it was some thing like this:
she: who are you? do I know you?
me: (dumbfounded) ... I am Ana, what? you already has forgotten my name? how come?
she: ah.. I see. listen, I have deleted the names of my old friends from my list. don't send any message any more, it is troublesome.
me:... ah.. I see... okay. (closes the page)
well... I guess more than being hurt and broken heart I was feeling humiliated. I mean even if I was just an online friend, we had spent months together, always sharing thoughts, idea's. if she really had found my company troublesome why she never told me her real feelings before? I have no problem with accepting others idea's about myself. if they hate me, well it is their choice and I wont give a damn about it. but I would prefer some one says to my face that she hates me rather than being treated like this.
and that's how I learned my lesson.
Anyway, as many have said before, Japan is a beautiful country with a great culture. there are so many wonderful things regarding them. but still if you want to get accepted among their people as a friend, you will have to face many difficult obstacles, more than you may expect.