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My First Short Story

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My First Short Story

Postby JasmineQ » Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:26 pm

Once upon a time, there was a lovely bird that was a symbol of peace since ancient times. That bird was small that lived in his nest, and he has a dream. He wished to depart and explore an outer world. That mystery world existed behind his nest which surrounded and protected him.

Day by day, as the bird was growing, his dream is growing; too. He was independent that didn’t want to tire anyone, so depending on himself and without any help from others, the bird learnt how to fly, and after every try, he failed to fly. He didn’t give up, and he practiced more and more to achieve his dream. He defied his limits and had a certainty of his ability, but he heard someone said “No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings”. After that, he realized that a lot of things in this life require the participation of others.

So, he accepted the help from a proficient peer, and he depended on him for learning and supporting. From time to time, the peer taught him more beneficial things and added new skills that help the small bird to achieve his dream, to fly. The bird was learnt quickly because he has the goal that waved to him from afar. The peer drew him an airline and held him the beginning .Then, the bird was learnt the ideal method by his peer, and his allegiance to that peer has increased a lot.

Unfortunately, the beautiful white dove had dropped from the high. All of his dreams, purity, peace and freedom had faded, and his broken wing was bleeding pains, sorrow because of the bitter reality of life. Finally and by his miserable end, he remembered his small nest, and how safe haven it was.

If I had wings, I wouldn’t be a dove.

The End
^
^
^
That story was an assignment for one of my creative writing classes. It supposed to complete this sentence “If I …” and to write a short story begins with it, but I didn’t do what they ask for. So, I preferred to create my distinctive way to write, and place the sentence at the end.

To be honest, I like doves, they mean a lot to me, and I think they share some properties with human, but I don’t know why I end that story with that imagination :) maybe because of the sad end I have reached.

Now dears, I’m waiting for your feedback

JASMINE Al-Qahtani
Last edited by JasmineQ on Thu Aug 28, 2008 10:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Prophet peace be upon him said, "Whoever loves to meet Allah, Allah loves to meet him"
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JasmineQ
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Re: My First Short Story

Postby angeleyez » Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:50 am

Gr8... its a very good and nice story... <I like the way u describe the story...>

Keep it up!! :mrgreen:
Please... Correct me if I have a spelling mistake !
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angeleyez
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Re: My First Short Story

Postby JasmineQ » Fri Aug 15, 2008 12:15 am

Hello dear,
Thanks your nice words ^_^

the feedback I received noticed that the piece has a lot of idiomatic and grammatical mistakes {-; , so I'll fix all of that, later.
Prophet peace be upon him said, "Whoever loves to meet Allah, Allah loves to meet him"
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JasmineQ
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Posts: 19
Joined: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:47 pm
Status: English Learner


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