EnglishClub
Home Learn English Teach English MyEnglishClub

Please note that these ESL Forums are NOT part of MyEnglishClub. To post at these ESL Forums please register ↑ first.


Fun......

Games, contests and jokes. Have fun!

Moderators: Vega, EC

Fun......

Postby denvinbo » Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:09 am

1...)
A famous author was invited to attend the dress rehearsal of a very serious play by a very serious young playwritter. He came, but unfortunately he slept through a greater part of the play. The angry playwritter said to hum later:
- How could you sleep when you knew how much I wanted your opinion? :evil:
The famous author replied:
- Young man, sleep is also an opinion... :roll:

2...)
- Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be an Arctic explorer. :!!:
- That's fine, Tom...
- But I want to go into training at once. :~:
- How can you do it?
- I want one dollar a day for ice-cream so I'll get used to the cold. :lol:

3...)
Father: You know, Jack, when Lincole was your age he was a very good pupil. He was the best pupil in his class. 8-)
Son: Yes, father, I know that and I was also know when he was your age, he was President of The United States. :shock:

4...)
Mother: I left 2 apples in the cupboard this afternoon, Tom, and now there is only one there. Can you explain it? :evil:
Tom: Because it was so dark, Mamma, I didn't see the other. :roll:

5...)
Little mouse: -Mammy, Who's saying something that I don't understand at all? :roll:
Mother mouse: - Silent! It's our enemy. Don't go out our house. That dirty cat is threatening us. :-x
Little mouse: - How do you understand what he said? :prof:
Mother mouse: - It's the best example for the use of learning foreign language. :geek:

6...)
Teacher: - What is an abstract noun? :prof:
Pupil: - I don't know, teacher. :roll:
Teacher: - What? You don't know! Well, it is the name of a thing you can think of but you can not touch. Now, give me an example. :-x
Pupil: - A red-hot-poker. :shock: :shock:

7...)
The officer said to his new soldiers:
- You have to love guns like your wife, and look for them carefully. Can you do it? :evil:
A new soldier replied:
- No, I can't, Sir. 8-)
- Why? Why can't you? - The officer shouted angrily. :evil: :evil:
- Because I haven't married yet, I don't know how the man loves his wife! 8-)

8...)
- 2 fathers and 2 sons, how many persons are there in total? :prof:
- Too easily! Four! 8-)
- Wrong! :shock:
- Why is it wrong? :evil:
- I am the son of my father. My father is the son of my grandfather. So 2 fathers and 2 sons are three persons. Is it right? :!: :!: :!:

9...)
- What is the use of our eyes?
- To see! :mrgreen:
- What is the use of our ears?
- To listen to! :mrgreen:
- What is the use of our nose?
- To put spectacles on! :shock: :shock: :shock:

10...)
- In my village, there are the wonderful machines which can make milk and meat from grass. :lol: :lol:
- Oh, you are the greatest liar in all the world! I can not believe it! :twisted:
- Why don't you believe it? They are cows... :!!: :!!:

Denvinbo! ;-)
Hey! I'm stuck! Get me out!

PIETY-The stories of parents and children
User avatar
denvinbo
Rough Diamond Member
 
Posts: 1860
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:46 pm
Location: Vietnam
Status: English Learner

Re: Fun......

Postby muth » Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:35 am

hahahaha it's so funny i like nomber 10 ..... cows :lol:
muth
Silver Member
 
Posts: 31
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:07 am
Location: Oman
Status: English Learner

Re: Fun......

Postby denvinbo » Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:18 am

hmm...may be the 2nd is good for children too........ :lol:
Hey! I'm stuck! Get me out!

PIETY-The stories of parents and children
User avatar
denvinbo
Rough Diamond Member
 
Posts: 1860
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:46 pm
Location: Vietnam
Status: English Learner

Re: Fun......

Postby denvinbo » Sun Feb 08, 2009 5:20 am

11...)
The naughty boy asked to his friend:
- Do you know an animal that has three legs? :roll:
- There isn't such a strange animal in this life. :-|
- It is too easy! Why don't you know? The boys often like to ride it. :!!:
- Which? I give up! :oops:
- The stony horse lost one leg in the park.. :!: :!: :!:

12...)
- What's the longest word in English?
- Open the dictionary, you will find it. :prof:
- What is it? Hurry up!
- I give up! :-(
- It is "Smiles" :idea:
- Why? :roll:
- Because there is a mile between the first letter and the last... :shock: :shock:

13...)
A beautiful girl wore a T shirt printed the words: "Kiss me now!". She was walking around in the park. A young man came to stop her suddenly and asked:
- Sorry! Did you pass the basic English class?
- Yes, I did. - replied soberly the girl. {-;
The young man smiled naughtily:
- Will you please, tell me what's the meaning of the words on your T shirt? 8-)
- It means: "If you do such that you will be given a kick by me"... :shock:

14...)
- Do you know, my baby sister gained nearly 2 hundred garms in weight this week. 8-)
- That's not very much! I know a baby that gains 5 kilograms a day. :-?
- Oh, that can't be true! Whose baby is it? :shock:
- An elephant's. :!: :!: :!:

15...)
The teacher: - If you father can do a piece of work in 1 hour and your mother can do it in 1 hour, how long would it take both of them to do it? :geek:
A pupil: - Three hours, teacher! 8-)
The teacher: - Why? :?: :?:
The pupil: - I had to count the time they would waste in arguing... :shock: :shock:

Denvinbo! ;-)
Hey! I'm stuck! Get me out!

PIETY-The stories of parents and children
User avatar
denvinbo
Rough Diamond Member
 
Posts: 1860
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:46 pm
Location: Vietnam
Status: English Learner

Re: Fun......

Postby sweethuman » Thu Jul 14, 2011 8:08 am

#8 was good one
User avatar
sweethuman
Rough Diamond Member
 
Posts: 1206
Joined: Tue May 10, 2011 7:18 am
Status: Other


Return to Entertainment

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests