Still vividly present in my mind's eye is a picture I dreamt about the first night spent in Kaohsiung: All the five of us exchange students are stomping like sulky kids, suffering from some nameless homesickness in this "vaguely different" cultural environment. We suddenly become landlubbers at sea, distracted and confused as the sense of belonging diminishes. Who are we? What are we doing here? Shall we mingle as freely as possible or step back with a perfect sense of propriety? It seems the key to answering those questions is all about the strength of self-control yet none of us manages to get the whole picture.
Totally at a loss until recently... My newly met Taiwanese friend Ya-Chu invited me to a sleep-over in her house for a couple of nights and I was more than happy to be her lodger——if only you knew how great and generous that girl is, not to mention she is also adorable and cute. Lady Luck was definitely smiling upon me and therefore I owe substantial gratitude toward her timely favor! I am now way more relieved and assured than I was in those beginning days, for genuine friendship does count in my case. "Have no idea what to do when there is some spare time? Relax! Here comes Ya-Chu, an angel with shining wings..." I have to admit each time we hang out together I feel like a million dollars deposited in a safe bank, with handsome interest and solid security. I find myself free of want, because she fulfills whatever I could possibly have in mind. Sometimes when I reflect upon myself I cannot help wondering whether I am also to her satisfaction, and whether I am worthy enough of all her kindness... Love between a sweet couple is always deemed selfless but somehow I find friendship has the same magical appeal when the vibe is right. I am totally swept off my feet by this girl with her impassionate personality. Thanks Ya-Chu, and any guy who deserves your love must be the luckiest man under the sun!
And of course another person I have to bring up here is Eyan Wiggy, who hit the jackpot when deciding on Ya-Chu as his host for couch surfing(A free, Internet-based, international hospitality-exchange service network, providing members around the world to coordinate contacts and home accommodation with each other). He is an English gentleman full of fun, typically reserved at the same time. The most amazing highlight of his life probably should be the fact that he is incredibly cosmopolitan, a well-experienced global trotter. During the past 11 years, he has already set foot on the shores of 52 countries (the number is still mounting), which undoubtedly makes him a legendary hero. In all honesty, Eyan is not the type of guy who is ready to steal the limelight and easy to spot among a mass of people, but still he is nothing but special. Uniqueness and bravery are all he has got in the first-aid kit. Throughout our conversations, he remained so sure about himself and all my efforts to dampen his pride ended in vain. Curiously, I asked him where his firm confidence came from. Eyan blew my mind by answering that he had never admired other people's lives or imagined himself to be someone else. He enjoys being himself and believes what he is up to right now is the most meaningful thing in his best interest. To him, later on I assume, that travelling itself is rewarding enough. He is completely into his everyday experiences——people who he meets along the trips, breath-taking sceneries, unfadable hopes, tempting joys... He keeps extracting the best that life can offer from the world unknown, which in the eyes of many looks dangerous and scary. Only the very first person to try the tomato knows exactly how delicious it tastes, because his/her feeling is unprecedented, hence unbeaten. Likewise, vanguards from any field enjoy to themselves the exclusive happiness of crying out “Voila!” while copycats only get to claim the leftover.
So, better choose the road less travelled…
More often than not, we are trapped in the spiral of self-doubt and frightened of our own dreams. We are dying to be somebody but forever hesitating to take the first step from the pathetic identity of nobody. Despair and helplessness keep smoldering inside of us. In the end, we can't help feeling frustrated and disappointed. Then self-confidence is draining until it is completely gone.
to be continued in the next post
