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one day

Add your poems, essays and short stories here. Please do not post work by other writers.

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one day

Postby Mohyiedine » Tue Apr 28, 2009 7:56 pm

We are not aware our essense of life wihout explore outside it, many times i suffered but not like this one, the heart was broken, eyes stopped on move, smile become thing of past, the first chance was lost because i didn’t know the truth , here the problem, thus i have become suffered, i’ll tell my story with her. A day from days,the eyes met them between thems, our eyes ; me and her, i won’t hide my feeling , she felt me a seldom affect, i was dreaming and building beautiful things in my imagination, but in the last she pulls down all thing which i built from one word and one gaze and one touch , in the final i have discouvred the fact, each these dreams that i invented hhh she wipes them, what a life , this is a weird case ……… All my greeting to you because she knew how you deceive me, but i won’t surrender for this souffrance so as to foil me , i’ll pray to God to give me the energy for patient.
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Re: one day

Postby shakespear » Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:54 pm

hi
very gd .........really u have sth and its gd
but here some wrong in dictation and u have to check them by using dictionary or asking some friends to correct them
in general i think u made gd work
gd luck
c u sooooooooooooooooon
our life is like a night mare
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Re: one day

Postby manel » Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:06 pm

your passage was great friend i noticed that you've used appropriate words .i knew that you're from morocco and you asked me where i'm from ,i'll tell we're neighbors coz i'm algerian
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Re: one day

Postby Mohyiedine » Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:31 pm

thanks my friends shakespear and manel for these comments which encouraged me to improve my ability of writing, as for the wrong in dictation, i'll try to correct it Inshalah, but i need your hepl Coz i still student at english, so i need who towards me to the fitting way to improve and develop my ability and energy of english.
plz Shakespear if you can extract the misakes in the passage ^___^
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