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harsh reality.

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harsh reality.

Postby fanuun » Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:03 pm

i spent days and nights with you.
we ate and laughed together,
i told you almost all my secrets
you trusted me with yours too.
you told me "you are the best friend i ever had"
but at the end all were lies
i ignored ALL that facts
i noticed earlier that all this are lies
but i couldn't face it
i just wanted it to last
i thought you might realize it at the end
that i would have never harmed you
or backstabbed you.
they say people think others are like them
but am not like you.
i was wrong i should have put an end to it.
i just wake up and realized .
sorry dosen't take the words that have been said back.
you thought i will always be by your side
and never leave.
but this time you are mistaken
i just wake up.
apologizing. do you know what are you sorry for?
i always say sorry cuz i know it will not change a thing.
guess what.? you picked the wrong words this time.
fanuun
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Re: harsh reality.

Postby sweets » Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:36 pm

hi
it's harsh reality i agree with u ur, words are storng suite title

it's hard to discover that ur best freind is a big lair

i like u odde

so .....................

keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep on
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Re: harsh reality.

Postby fanuun » Thu Sep 16, 2010 4:32 pm

thnxs dear.
it's really odd nature. seeing the person u called as best freind, number 1 in your emergency contact backstabbed you and for what?
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Re: harsh reality.

Postby sweets » Fri Sep 17, 2010 4:32 pm

fanuun wrote:thnxs dear.
it's really odd nature. seeing the person u called as best freind, number 1 in your emergency contact backstabbed you and for what?


many times for Ridiculous things
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Re: harsh reality.

Postby shakespear » Fri Sep 17, 2010 8:29 pm

hello
really ur poem is great that it has the subject and the good title. its words are very good. really i like it but there are some mistakes regarding to grammar that u didn't make ur verbs concordant for instance: " i just wake up and realized " u used wake up (present )and realized (past). there are other mistakes for instance u said "i noticed earlier that all this are lies " u used noticed (past) ....are (present) this is mistake...this (singular) ....are (plural) u had to say " i noticed earlier that all these were lies" i think it better than ur say.....
u can ur-self revise the poem and discover the weak use of grammar and correct it.
any way ur poem is fantastic and u r great and i advise u to go ahead and try again and again to show us perfect work.
excuse me if i disturb u with my boring notes about grammar but we have to be loyal in our comments.
thnx in advance to accept my comments
c u and good luck
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Re: harsh reality.

Postby fanuun » Thu Sep 23, 2010 2:09 pm

shakespear : thank you for your remarks. i actually never studied english in proper way (grammatically) . i guess it's time for me to improve my writing skills.
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Re: harsh reality.

Postby shakespear » Fri Sep 24, 2010 7:24 pm

hello my friend
u r always welcome
i hope u'll learn grammar and write lovely poems
really and trust me ur poem is great and i liked it
thnx and have nice moments
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