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Temptation

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Temptation

Postby Lara » Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:56 pm

Temptation
I have done it with you, I’ve been weak
Did you want that? Now you got it,
Do you feel happy, comfortable, or satisfied?
Do you know what I feel, think, and want?
It doesn’t matter now; you think all of us are similar
We think differently, we don’t have the same demands
If you see the stars, you may think all of them are similar,
but if you look at them carefully, those stars have differed brightness
Women don’t need the same thing, we have different needs

Yes, we are not stones, I’m a weak person
But my strengths make my weaknesses disappear
I’m not angel; I’m a fallen angel who wants to become an angel again
You are not devil, but you make me to sin with you
I’ve been twice, thanks that I’m harder
Every time I know I’m being weak
It becomes me in a stronger person
You are fire, I’m water and every time you try to seduce me
I’ll cool your heat with my coldness
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Re: Temptation

Postby Lara » Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:31 pm

Hi everybody, im so sorry i made some mistakes, i will show you my poem corrected to read it again :) thanks

Temptation
I have done it with you, I’ve been weak
Did you want that? Now you got it,
Do you feel happy, comfortable, or satisfied?
Do you know what I feel, think, and want?
It doesn’t matter now; you think all of us are similar
We think differently, we don’t have the same demands
If you see the stars, you may think all of them are similar,
but if you look at them carefully, those stars have differed brightness
Women don’t need the same thing, we have different needs

Yes, we are not stones, I’m a weak person
But my strengths make my weaknesses disappear
I was obedient angel but I fell down
now I want to be that angel
You are not devil, but you make me to sin with you
I’ve been twice, thanks that I’m harder
Every time I know I’m being weak
it made me a stronger creature
You are fire, I’m water and every time you try to seduce me
I’ll cool your heat with my coldness
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Re: Temptation

Postby shakespear » Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:47 pm

mmmm its lovely poem
i think it's full of meanings,lessons, cermons and so on
in this poem there are some mistakes in grammar like: "those stars have differed brightness" the correct it" different brightness" ...also there r some weakness in some lines but at all the poem is marvelous, wonderfull specially
Lara wrote:It doesn’t matter now; you think all of us are similar
...and ...Every time I know I’m being weak
It puts me in a stronger person...and there r other many strong terms in this poem..
LARA: i think u r very good in this poem and i wana say " go ahead " ....try another poem koz u have inside u volcano of meanings and terms
4give me if i ache ur heads with my boring comment
have nice moments and gd luck
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Re: Temptation

Postby Lara » Mon Aug 15, 2011 11:08 pm

Hi shakespear! thanks for your correction :) i appreciate ur help. Also I thank u for your comments because i know you have good knowledge about poems, and that helps me to write more :)
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Re: Temptation

Postby sweethuman » Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:20 am

Lara wrote:
If you see the stars, you may think all of them are similar,
but if you look at them carefully, those stars have differed brightness
Women don’t need the same thing, we have different needs

You are fire, I’m water and every time you try to seduce me
I’ll cool your heat with my coldness



Truth explanatory and realistic.

Nice One. Thanks for sharing Lara. :-D
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Re: Temptation

Postby Lara » Wed Aug 17, 2011 1:18 pm

Hi sweethuman!,thanks for ur comments, i appreciate them :)
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Re: Temptation

Postby Elisa » Wed Aug 17, 2011 3:51 pm

Relax you, take a shower and go out. Look for a good restaurant, order beefmeat and... you will become STRONGER.....perhaps!!!!

You cannot become stronger playing with people {-;
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Re: Temptation

Postby Lara » Wed Aug 17, 2011 5:10 pm

Elisa wrote:You cannot become stronger playing with people


So, you think im playing with people :?: , im so sorry for saying this, but u dont know me, u cant say im playing with people till you meet me, then, you can say wahtever u want about me.
Thanks Elisa for ur comment {-: see you
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