A woman's sorrow

[shakespear]

ok
may be u can...but i can't really koz we'll be connected strongly..

[Lara]

hmm yeah those our point of views, they r completely different :D and i respect urs

[shakespear]

ok
that is very well koz i respect ur idea also
have nice moments

[shakespear]

thanks to all my friends

[sweets]

hi
it's the first time that you are talking in figure of woman it's so goood ,well as a respons for that i answered this poem with a poem in man's figure as an answer to ur lady i hope to read and enjoy with.........................................

My dear lady I'm here
Just look well
You only didn't me watch well

I'm here and there
I'm in everywhere
You are only what I see ..i hear and talk about
How you could not note that ????

How you could not note my eyes saving you from others
How you couldn't touch my warmth in cold days ??

Your bird did not leave your nest till now
But with your careless ..sure it'll do that
Instead of waiting look at here forget west
I'm not expecting ur best

[shakespear]

hello
congratulations
u come back and we, ur friends all of us, r happy for ur coming back and we hope u show us lovely and new poems which always u used to show us...
in this poem u took a figure of man as i did in the my poem and i think we exchanged the roles ...i don't know but i think i'm feel pleased to play the role of woman and feel how the woman feels ...

You only didn't me watch well

i think u'd better say: You only didn't watch me well
another thing :u got the subject befor the auxiliary read the following:

How you could not note that ????

you needn;t do that and u can easily put the aux b4 the subject
another thing: u put preposition b4 adjective and this is wrong koz "careless" not noun its adjective...u have to use "carelessness" read the following:

But with your careless ..sure it'll do that

any way ur poem is a reply to my poem and u inspired me to write another one in the same style ..u encouraged me
ur poem is full of valuable words which have deep meanings and i hope i read anothre poem like this lovely poem
congratulations twice for ur coming back and for this poem
have nice moments

[sweets]

thanx 4 correcting my mistakes in fact i wrote it this morning b4 going 2 work anyway thank u so much*

[shakespear]

hi sweets
really i regreted correcting ur mistakes koz i thought u would be angry and i had to make private msg and informed u about ur mistakes...anyway i hope u r not angry for this fault and plz accept my apology my friend...
i ask u to issue it in saparated topic ..i meant new topic after correct it ....plz examine it and correct then issue it in new topic
have nice moments

[sweets]

why shall i do that ???????????? you know my opinon about corrections and so on and we disscused that more than one time .......
anyway next poem i promise to be more carefull
but if i post this as new post i'll post as it's without any simple correction is it fine ??
so shall i wait a reply to my reply or u'll write new thing ???????????????????


have sweetday

[shakespear]

hi
ok do wtever u like and dont worry about that
feel free plz
thnx 4 this comment