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my writing about christmas tree~please help revise it !

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my writing about christmas tree~please help revise it !

Postby pigone » Wed Oct 26, 2011 12:30 pm

A Christmas tree is the most indispensable attribute associated with the celebration of Christmas, without which the holiday atmosphere becomes less festive. Many folk legends have grown around the Christmas tree.
According to one of the legends, the tradition of decorating an evergreen fir tree at Christmas started in Germany in the 16th century, when Germans took the fir trees home as decoration, which then came to be called Christmas tree. Later, Martin Luthur, a German, attached candles to the fir trees, and lighted them, trying to simulate the reflections of Bethlehem. Nowadays, people replace the candles with little pink lights.
Another legend states that once there lived a poor woodsman who found a lost and hungry child in the woods at a snowy night. As it was a Christmas Eve, the woodsman gave him a hearty dinner. The child broke a branch off a tree and made it stick in the ground at their parting. He blessed the woodsman and said, ”May this tree have gifts all over its branches on this day every year. I leave the beautiful tree to thank you for your noble deed.” The woodsman found the branch becoming a little tree when the child left, and he realized that the child was Christ himself in disguise. That story becomes the origin of the Christmas tree. In the West, all families, Christian or non-christian alike, would have a Christmas tree at home to give a holiday feeling.
Christmas tree is generally made of evergreen fir trees and is a symbol of eternal life. It is decorated with ornaments like lights, candles, garlands, toys and stars. People enjoy themselves singing and dancing around the Christmas tree.

Please help me with the grammatical mistakes, and polish it for a better work. Thank you so much!
pigone
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Re: my writing about christmas tree~please help revise it !

Postby TheStephen » Wed Oct 26, 2011 7:51 pm

Your English is very good! There weren't any major issues, just a few things here and there.

"... when Germans took the fir trees home as decoration, which then came to be called Christmas tree." You must either place the article the before "Christmas tree" or pluralise it to Christmas trees.

"Martin Luthur" is correctly spelled Martin Luther.

" ... with little pink lights." This isn't quite true. It'd be better to say "little colourful lights."

" ... in the woods at a snowy night." It's "on a snowy night." You can only say "at night" without an adjective.

" ... Christian or non-christian alike." Here, you used the wrong conjunction. This structure uses and rather than or. Without alike, or would be correct. Oh! and the noun Christian must be capitalised even when it is in a hyphenated word.

At the beginning of your last paragraph, "Christmas tree" must have the article the before it, or be pluralised to Christmas trees are.

Good work!
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Re: my writing about christmas tree~please help revise it !

Postby pigone » Thu Oct 27, 2011 5:32 am

thank you very much! it's kind of you!
pigone
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