Wounded Sky

Add your poems, essays and short stories here. Please do not post work by other writers.

Moderator: EC

Post Reply
User avatar
Lara
Rising Star
Rising Star
Posts: 181
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:57 pm
Status: Learner of English
Location: http://my.englishclub.com/profile/Lara07

Wounded Sky

Post by Lara »

Wounded Sky

Blood flows in the Earth
His heart has been hurt
Sky, the only witness
Tears are falling from the sky

♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
Nobody listens to his voice
It’s as high that can’t be heard
Madness, hatred weaken him
Tears are falling from the sky

♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
Love and confidence are fading
His wounds are larger
He can’t stand it anymore
Tears are falling from the sky

♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
His screaming is like thunders
Human doesn't see his wounds
People don’t stop his crying
They won’t see a rainbow in the sky.



[Sorry if i have grammar mistakes :-D ]
User avatar
shakespear
Top Contributor
Top Contributor
Posts: 973
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
Status: Teacher of English
Location: turkey

Re: Wounded Sky

Post by shakespear »

hi....i'm so sorry koz i wasn't here...really the title took my attention so i read it...
i noticed that the first three stanzas ends with the same term:Tears are falling from the sky , but the last stanza didn't end with the same term...
i think the poem is as a lovely picture which shows us the suffering of someone and none with him to relieve him or comfort him although there are some mistakes in grammar and expression but it's still a wonderful picture painted by soft fingers of soft painter
excuse me for this long comment and have nice moments
User avatar
Lara
Rising Star
Rising Star
Posts: 181
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:57 pm
Status: Learner of English
Location: http://my.englishclub.com/profile/Lara07

Re: Wounded Sky

Post by Lara »

Thanks for your comment!!!

Blessings
User avatar
shakespear
Top Contributor
Top Contributor
Posts: 973
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 12:02 pm
Status: Teacher of English
Location: turkey

Re: Wounded Sky

Post by shakespear »

Lara wrote:His screaming is like thunders
look at this line , his screaming is like thunder,
i think if u said: his screaming is unheard
may be it'd be better...i don't know, but i think so...every time we discover new thing..
regards
Post Reply