Need native speakers to check readability!

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Therodimus
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Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:06 am
Status: Learner of English

Need native speakers to check readability!

Post by Therodimus »

Hi everyone!
I really need some native speakers to check the readability of my writing!
So, if you please, here we go:

"The night was filled with slightly chilly air of early spring.
The typical city's sounds, those of speeding cars, leaving
behind choking, rushing skyward whiffs of dust, and people's
constant buzzing chatter, were slowly dying away. Weakening
hollow din was retreating, it seemed, to the distant, menacing
outskirts, where it was kept in dark and damp, enormous
underground chamber by some powerful, shadowlike guard
until morning light..."
EnglishFix
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Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 12:12 am
Status: Teacher of English

Re: Need native speakers to check readability!

Post by EnglishFix »

The night was filled with the slightly chilly air of early spring.
The typical city's sounds, those of speeding cars, leaving
behind choking, rushing skyward whiffs of dust, and people's
constant buzzing chatter, were slowly dying away. A weakening
hollow din was retreating, it seemed, to the distant, menacing
outskirts, where it was kept in a dark and damp, enormous
underground chamber by some powerful, shadow like guard
until morning light...
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