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The most valuable thing in the world!

Postby behnam » Mon Dec 02, 2013 11:01 am

Hi my dear sister Shahrbanu,

Your comments make me happy. You are very kind and friendly. I am proud of having a sister like you. Thank you very much for posting your friendly posts in this thread.

The price of gold is decreasing radically in Iran. I wish my heart was made of something more valuable than gold. What could it be? I don't know! What's the most valuable thing in the world? I guess this varies from person to person. For me, the most valuable thing in the world is satisfying God! What is your most valuable things?

Hope to hear from you soon.

All the best,
Behnam, 2 December, 2013
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The art of conversation!

Postby behnam » Mon Dec 02, 2013 12:12 pm

Hi friends,

I was reading a report in a daily newspaper which was focusing on the causes of divorce in some countries(my country was included). Statistics show that the rate of divorce is increasing and the rate of marriage is decreasing in some countries. Experts have their own views on the causes and these issues have being discussed for a long time. As a matter of fact, the rate of registered divorces is high, but in reality it is higher than what is going on in the societies. A new phenomenon- Emotional Divorce-is not considered in statistics! What does it mean? It means that there are many officially married couples; living under the same roof, but haven't got any emotional involvements with each other! These couples are tolerating each other. They are actually not living. In some cases, despite having serious problems, couples tolerate each other because they have got children. They don't want their children to grow up in a single-parent family! However, some couples are emotionally divorced, whereas they haven't got any children! Unfortunately, this type of marriage is common among educated couples!!! Why?

This is a strange thing. There are limited sources to see and gather data about this phenomenon. It is hard to dig this issue more, because you cannot ask people to share their personal things, like in-bed quality, with others! How silly it would be, or what would you receive in response if you asked someone if s/he made love regularly and normally or not? You might receive a punch in the stomach. Don't try it! :lol:

Fortunately, for a basic primary study, you don't need to ask couples about their private lives. Although it is quite impossible to go to Mars and experience living there, scientists apply universal rules and guess how life could be on other planets. Similarly, you may not know what is going on among 'Emotionally Divorced' couples, but you can guess what is not going on! :lol:

One of the not-going-on things is conversation. They don't know how to talk with each other. They are both educated, but they don't know how to talk with each other! This is unbelievable, but we have to believe it! :lol:

Many people don't know how to make a constructive conversation. They lack the art of conversation. They speak; put words together and build sentences, but they don't understand the language of each other! Don't get me wrong! They are both from the same country and their mother tongue is the same! Why? Maybe, they don't listen to each other. Maybe their ears are closed!

In some aspects, conversation is similar to house-building. We have to make a strong foundation first, then put bricks on each other, using cement among them to keep them fixed, ...! Putting bricks with different shapes on each other without using cement result in nothing! You will finally have a pile of ruin! It is neither brick, nor cement! They are inseparable, worse than the initial states they had!

We should respect diplomacy. We should learn how to talk. Talking is different from barking! We need to talk wisely! Who am I writing to? Believe me, I am writing these things without thinking about someone. This is one of our serious everyday problems in this modern world with New Phenomena! :lol: :lol: :lol:

I have to leave right now. I have no time to check the mistakes and to correct them. So sorry!

All the best,
Behnam, 2 December, 2013
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby [amal] » Tue Dec 03, 2013 1:18 pm

Hi Behnam,

How are you?

Thanks for you posts, I really love your words.

I read your post about report in the newspaper which focusing on divorce. In fact, I think these days the divorce is increasing because both men and women become independent and both of them have their interests which are different from each other. Therefore, they lose the communication. Above that, nowadays, everything is changing, men are changing and women are changing. The value of morality and loyalty has changed too. So it's normal to see such marriages and divorces!

Dear, How is your marriage? Or maybe, I shouldn't ask! I maybe receive a punch in the stomach! :roll: :-D :-D :lol:

Wish you a happy life.
Amal
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Mohsen » Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:28 pm



Hi Behnam,

Your suggestion about going to that lady's home is tempting, especially for me, because my wife from time to time stays at her mother's home and some nights I am alone until the morning like tonight. Also that lady is a special case, she lost her husband in a car accident few years ago and now she is single. it is difficult for a married woman to continue her life singly. I think it is my duty to help her ,for seeking of God I should help her and save her from depression. :oops: :oops:
At first when I read your suggestion, my judge was unfair; I told myself that Behnam is one the Satan's soldier. But tonight I changed my mind, you are right, I am alone tonight and she is alone at her house. I will call her and make a decision whether she comes to my house or I go to her house. You know that there is a difference between having a visit with a woman and a girl. The girls should have permission from her parents,but woman doesn't need. I am talking about Islamic limits. As I told you she is special case. I can visit her without making sin and consider that I may save her from deviation ,I receive reward from God.

Now I am sinking in my thoughts ,your enticing suggestion. I can't focus on anything else. I read you detail description about divorce. Thank you , you right it excellently. But I didn't get a part of it "A new phenomenon- Emotional Divorce-is not considered in statistics! What does it mean? It means that there are many officially married couples; living under the same roof, but haven't got any emotional involvements with each other!"

What is emotional divorce , and why when it doesn't consider in statistics , it means that registered married couples haven't got emotional involvements?

I was in Tehran international spare parts and car exhibition for two days , I humbly requested my boss to left me alone and visited the exhibition without me . but he didn't responded to my plea and took me to this journey by force ( God may make his life short) . I really don't like travelling , visiting fair ,coming back with a bag full of catalogues ,DVDs and echantillons.

My best time is when I am lying in bed and watch TV

All the best
Mohsen
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby behnam » Wed Dec 04, 2013 6:28 pm

Hi Amal,

Your post made me extremely happy. Thank you very much. You write beautifully. I love your writings VERY much.

In answer to your question, my marriage is happy. We've got many emotional involvements with each other! :lol:

Dear Amal, there is a channel on TV entitled 'Press TV'! It is in English. I seldom watch TV, but if I have a chance to watch it, I watch 'Press TV' which broadcasts global news. The news about your country makes my heart painful. The war has made Syria go back to stone age. Some sections of Damascus is actually a pile of ruins! I hope they will make an agreement in coming conference in Geneva!

All the best,
Behnam, 4 December, 2013
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Challenging things!

Postby behnam » Thu Dec 05, 2013 1:38 pm

Mohsen wrote:I can visit her without making sin and consider that I may save her from deviation ,I receive reward from God.


Hi Mohsen,

I am sure your wife isn't aware of your posts. What you have written is challenging. Visiting someone isn't forbidden and then sinful.You may mean something else by 'visiting'! How can you save a widow from deviation(as you have put it) by visiting her? How skilful you are! By the way, what do you mean by 'deviation'? You have written such challenging vague things, because you have found the thread empty from brave ladies. When the cat is away the mice play!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Mohsen wrote:What is emotional divorce , and why when it doesn't consider in statistics, it means that registered married couples haven't got emotional involvements?


Suppose you decide to carry out a study on the rate of divorce or marriage in a society. What will you do? You may go to some registry offices where the information about registered marriages and divorces is kept. After gathering some data you may conclude that, in big cities, one in three marriages ends in divorce! This is 'called statistical study' of an issue.

However, there are some couples. They are living under the same roof, but they have nothing to do with each other. They are married, but they don't have any marital activities! These people have marital problems, but they haven't went to a registry office to get divorced and register it!

Dear Mohsen, joking aside, the lady you are speaking about is an occasional case, but I guess you don't dare to take this golden opportunity. You either feel afraid of your wife, or you are not strong enough to handle the issues! Islam is in danger man! Why don't you hammer the nail of Islam in kofr-threatening land? :lol: :lol: :lol:

All the best,
Behnam, 5 December, 2013
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Mohsen » Tue Dec 10, 2013 8:17 pm



Hi Behnam,

There are legal behaviours which are allowed by law, Deviation is when someone infringe the law. What is the law? The law in our society is the rules that God develops in order to have whole people following it.

Surly my wife doesn't know about my post, good deed should be done in hidden ,charity should be paid in secret.

When people who were men of true piety and devoted their life to God, have fallen in love ,lost their faith and couldn't control their feeling .What should I expect myself , I am not more faithful than Shiekh Sanan.

Shiekh Sanan who was living in Mecca, left there and went to RUOM, There he saw a beautiful Christian girl. He fell into passionate love with the young girl, forgetting his place among his followers and his prominence as a learned and spiritual pious Muslim.
The girl, who was much younger than the Sheik refused his love and instead asked him to perform impossible tasks, throwing obstacles in his way in order to change his mind. She asked him to worship an idol (highest crime in Islam), burn the Quran, drink wine (forbidden in Islam) and finally to lose his faith in Islam. Of all four requests the Sheik only agreed to drinking wine and asked the girl to forewent the other three.
The girl then asked for the Sheik to become a Christian. He agreed to her demand and changed his religion. Having seen no hope in averting the Sheik's love, the girl asked for him to provide her with dowry money. The Sheik, having lost his faith and gotten into the habit of drinking, responded that he neither had spiritual wealth nor material possessions. The young girl feels sorry for him and instead of a dowry asks him to attend to her hog farm (a sacrilege in Islam) for one year.
Having Bewildered by Sheik's apparent state of lost spirituality and craze, his followers tried to find a way to rescue him. They asked one of his Morid "devout followers" who was away at the time of his departure from Mecca, to come and lend a hand. The follower went to Ruom and found the Sheik in the pathetic state of raising pigs! He then asked the followers to pray for the Sheik for forty days, asking God to bring back the Sheik in to the path of righteousness.
After forty days, the prophet Mohammed came to the Morid's dream and informed him of God's will to return Sheik's sanity back to him. As for the girl, she waked up one morning and realized what she had done to the Sheik and asked forgiveness from God, becomes a Muslim and follows him as her spiritual leader.
You see Behnam , I have not Morid to pray for me ,I have a friend who encourage me to hummer the nail :shock: :shock: :shock: .
What do you expect me , I am alone tonight and bewildered
:~:
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Moroo » Thu Dec 12, 2013 12:43 pm

Hi to you all {-:

How are you all. Really I miss you all.

Sorry I don't write here often but I'm following your beautiful posts. :-(

These days I'm trying to chat with many people as much as I can to make my English better, hope I reach my goal.

Most of the chatter are not nice like you.

Although I'm using chat rooms for the people who want to practice English, they only need to use facebook or skype or exchange photos.

The chat conversation is always short it's all about introducing yourself no more after you finish with the person no longer talk, every day I have to start with new one with the same start no longer conversation, I think it doesn't help me to practice English.

Anyway I'll keep chatting till I see what will happen.

I only like this thread very much but the problem with me I don't find any topic to talk about, No exchange.

I just write to share with you my experience and my thoughts.

See you soon my beautiful friends. :-P
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Moroo » Mon Dec 16, 2013 1:14 pm

Hi to all my friends.

Hope you are fine.

I like what Mohsen wrote about his family life, he reminds me of myself, I also help my wife in every household chore including taking care of our kids, I'm changing the diapers for my baby and helping him sleep, hanging the washing etc

I'm not shay to say that because I believe democrat husband should help his wife, this will make his wife love him much much more.

I believe that the man who said that women should work Injustice her because how can she work beside her household chore, and most of the time she share her salary at home.

And after the man came back after work he just sit and watch TV while she start her house chore although both of them came from work, how comes!

I help her in everything because I believe that married life is all about sharing.

Wife is always blamed if she take care of her children and the household chore and omitted her husband.

And if she take care of her husband and omitted her children.

See you soon
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Moroo » Mon Dec 16, 2013 1:29 pm

Have anyone heard before that a father love himself more than his children!

It's a real story that happening.

If so please let me know.
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