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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby [amal] » Sat Dec 28, 2013 1:28 am

Hi Behnam,

How are you?

Thanks dear for writing that "explanation post" to me and other friends.. I was too worried about you and I even write an off but there was no answer!
Your words were verrrrry shocking! I couldn't sleep that night when I read them! YOU ARE OLD???!!!! And you are speaking about leaving time???!!! Oh my god!!! just some white hears on your chest let you feel so??!!!!!! What should my father say???!!! He is older than you and he had a heart operation, too. He is still working and ,by the way, his job is very hard and important! But he doesn't complain and he doesn't speak about leaving time!!!

Dear Behnam again I am sorry for being late in reply, I am not stone-hearted but my grandma is sick and we took her to the hospital. Above that, the electricity was off last two days... And NO, I didn't get married because these days there are a lot of males but there is no men! I will tell you the rest of that story when we chat inshallah..

Anyway, thanksss a lot for " The Smell Of Love!", I loved reading the both parts, I even read them many times... You are smart! "as usual" {-; I love your life philosophy...

In one of your posts, you were confused about what field of books you can write, so why don't you write about your life philosophy?! I am sure it would be a great book and it would take a big success in all over the world..

About "dowry"I didn't get your point too! :lol: Why should girls' families give money for the boys??!!! As you said it's insulting!
Then why do you always say "ask Mohsen"?! Well, I will ask Mohsen... but why don't you speak and explain to us about your traditions?! why do you always feel that you aren't a part of that society?! {-:

Dear Mohsen please explain to us the philosophy behind dowry action!!!!

Behnam, what I meant by dowry and what is happening here is that girls' families ask a high "مؤخر و مقدم" for their girls and that means that the boy here who should pay the money, they also ask for gold and a house too... The girls' families here pay nothing except the cost of the engagement party.

So what I was saying is: If the girls families just have a little sympathy with the boys and didn't ask for a high amount of money, spinsterhood matter would be solved!

Dear, I heard that in Iran the government force the girls to wear the hejab, is that right?! Why should they do that?! what is the point behind this action?!

Don't you think that they should give them the freedom to choose and decide what they want?! Another thing came to my mind, if god himself, when he put the rules, he put them and left the choice to us and let us choose between the bad and the good thing, therefore the government shouldn't force them!

When we are forced to do sth, it becomes like a habit or a costume not a religious matter! And it doesn't show if the person were a believer or not..

For example, here most of the women who hide their faces and cover them with black hejab are bad, they hide their action with this costume and try to deludes people that they are religious women..
Therefore, whenever someone ask me why don't I hide my face, I immediately say NO! And the bad idea about the women who wear it come to my mind!! They completely spoiled the meaning of it.

The same thing happened when when we force a bad girl to wear the hejab, it will give a bad idea for others about it -especially for non-Muslims..
For sure the next generation will hate the hejab just because of this irresponsible action.

Thanks for reading.

Best wishes,
Amal
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Thank you for giving me motivation!

Postby behnam » Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:03 pm

Hi Amal,

So many thanks for your motivational post. It includes some nice points and some challenging questions.


[amal] wrote:Then why do you always say "ask Mohsen"?! Well, I will ask Mohsen... but why don't you speak and explain to us about your traditions?! why do you always feel that you aren't a part of that society?!


Obviously, each individual, in accordance with his/her skills, talents and interests, likes and dislikes, etc. is expert at some special and limited areas. Nobody can claim that s/he is expert in all areas. As far as I know, our friend Mohsen is an eagle-eyed person when it comes to social based issues. In addition, I'd like to motivate him to be more active, because I love reading his posts.

[amal] wrote:Dear, I heard that in Iran the government force the girls to wear the hejab, is that right?! Why should they do that?! what is the point behind this action?!


To be honest with you, I don't know whether the government or any other organization forces females to wear Hejab. My wife and all the ladies in my relatives wear Hejab, no matter if the government puts pressures on it or not. We are Muslim and we have been Muslim for years. I personally do believe in Hejab and this belief is not affected by the action of others. If all people in the world opposed the Islamic Hejab, I'd support it! I do mean what I am saying.

Let's assume that the government or some organizations put emphasize on wearing Hejab. I support them. We are living in an Islamic country, so we are supposed to follow the instructions of Islam. Thankfully, Hejab is clearly mentioned in the Holy Koran, so there is no rooms or excuses for misinterpretation.

In an Islamic society, women have to wear Hejab. If the don't cover their bodies, they threaten the mental health of the society. How? Well, men get excited by seeing sexual scenes while there is nowhere to satisfy their desires. In some countries sex industry is legal, so men welcome sexual excitement, because they easily can go to some legal places and do what they like by paying a little money. In an Islamic country, sex industry is illegal. For the sake of safety and health, Islamic rules about Hejab MUST be followed completely.

In my view, women who respect themselves and want me to respect them NEVER put her bodies on display. If they trigger my sexual desires without offering a solution for that, it will be like showing a glass of ice-water to a thirsty person in the summer and describing the quality of it! It is cruel. Even in forests, in wildlife animals do not do like that! If you are not going to give me a glass of water, at least don't remind my the water and its benefits. Don't make me more thirsty!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
[amal] wrote:The same thing happened when when we force a bad girl to wear the hejab, it will give a bad idea for others about it -especially for non-Muslims.


A bad girl may have some good tempting things! :lol: :lol: :lol: In this case, the philosophy of forcing her to cover her body is protecting others from danger, not that bad girl, although Hejab can be useful even for that bad girl too. :lol:

There are many social problems in the societies. Hejab is one of them. Sometimes, the authorities purposely close their eyes to important areas of life such as economy, corruption, health, unemployment, etc. and draw attention to some minor problems. This is not acceptable. An Islamic country MUST smell Islam in all areas.

I have to leave right now. I guess this topic is worth discussing more and deeper.

It was sad to hear that your grandmother is sick. I wish health to your grandmother. May Allah protect her from all illness.

All the best,
Behnam, 28 December, 2013
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Richard Feynman’s Letter to His Departed Wife: “You, Dead, A

Postby behnam » Mon Dec 30, 2013 6:46 am

October 17, 1946

D’Arline,

I adore you, sweetheart.

I know how much you like to hear that — but I don’t only write it because you like it — I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I know you’ll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese — or getting a movie projector. Can’t I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You needn’t have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don’t want to be in my way. I’ll bet you are surprised that I don’t even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can’t help it, darling, nor can I — I don’t understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don’t want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.

My darling wife, I do adore you.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

Rich.

PS Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address.
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Richard Feynman’s Letter to His Departed Wife!

Postby behnam » Mon Dec 30, 2013 7:17 am

Hi friends,

Some people blame physicists for being cold and strict. In order to deny this false accusation, I am putting the letter of Richard Feynman to his dead wife! I leave the judgement to you.

In June 1945, the 27-year-old physicist Richard Feynman lost his wife, Arline Feynman, to tuberculosis. Only 25 years old, she was Richard’s high-school sweetheart. And yet she was much more. As Lawrence Krauss writes in 2012 biography on Feynman:


Richard and Arline were soul mates. They were not clones of each other, but symbiotic opposites – each completed the other. Arline admired Richard’s obvious scientific brilliance, and Richard clearly adored the fact that she loved and understood things he could barely appreciate at the time. But what they shared, most of all, was a love of life and a spirit of adventure.


October 17, 1946

D’Arline,

I adore you, sweetheart.

I know how much you like to hear that — but I don’t only write it because you like it — I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I know you’ll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese — or getting a movie projector. Can’t I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You needn’t have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don’t want to be in my way. I’ll bet you are surprised that I don’t even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can’t help it, darling, nor can I — I don’t understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don’t want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.

My darling wife, I do adore you.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

Rich.

PS Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address.


*****************************************************************



}: }: }: }: }: }: }: }: }: }:

This can be called love!

All the best,
Behnam, 30 December, 2013
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Why not?

Postby Elham » Tue Dec 31, 2013 2:12 pm

Why not?

I feel like writing. Why not? I used to write in this thread and although for some good reasons I stopped it, today again I feel like writing here. Part of me is in Let's learn together. Part of true me is in here and I can decide weather or not to write in it.

There are some thoughts in my mind right now. One of them is a question I'm asking myself :" How can we have opinions about things? " What makes us an opinionated person?"

Last night I watched " Casabelanca" . As I've heard it's a very famous movie.
What makes a film famous? I watched it, but if you ask me to give my opinion about it, I really don't know what to say. I just can say, it was good. I liked some of the features of the main character of the film. He was somehow serious and strict but full of emotion. I liked his personality as a "MAN"! I don't know what words I can use to describe him as a MAN but I just know he was attractive as a man.
But if you ask me about the story, I don't know how to talk about. So I wonder how I should be able to discuss sth?

I read a book today. I had heard about it. It's " kafe piano" ! after reading it , now, I wonder how I should judge it?

I think it needs experience.You should have read many books and watched too much movies and know many things to be able to have opinions about sth.

Anyway, right now I'm lack of enough information and experience to discuss things.


Dear Behnam has written about love. I think I'm familiar with love. I don't care what love is for in reality, or why god has created it, to make men and women make love and have babies or other things.
I just like to like it. Love is beautiful and makes life worth to live. I like love for itself and I'd like to believe love exists just for the sake of love. For those great feelings we have while we're in love. For the beauty and sweetness it adds to our lives. For the wonderful moments it creates between two persons. For sure love is a creator, a great creator.What dose it create? The good feelings that love brings with itself, the peace that it gives to our moments, the wonderful smell it spreads all over our life, most importantly the beauty of a great connection that loves makes between two heart, two soul and two body is a magic.

I love love and ask for more and more of it. Love is essence of life. I love to breath it. :-)
Nothing is comparable with liking some one deeply. No feeling is comparable with it when you some where deep down feel " you love some one" ! It warms your heart , soul and body and you don't want to change it with anything else in the world.

A baby can be the fruit of a beautiful love but I don't believe it's the reason for it. It may just be an ideal but I don't care. :-D


......
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Happy New Year!

Postby behnam » Tue Dec 31, 2013 5:29 pm

Hi friends,

I'd like to say '
Happy New Year' to those use Gregorian calendar. I hope 2014 will bring more happiness, peace, health, and prosperity. I also hope you will make some good New Year Resolutions and will STICK to them! I wish you good luck and lasting happiness.

All the best,
Behnam, 31 December, 2013
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Mohsen » Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:05 pm



Dear Amal,

I hope you and your family are in health

In fact the burden of explaining about dowry fell to me , well , I do it

First it is better to know what the dowry is, or what we speak about it as a dowry. We have two kinds of dowries, the dowry which is given to bride by bride groom' family and the dowry which is taken to bride groom house by bride's family.
The dowry which is on boy'charge is called Mehr ( mehrieh),it is written officially in a document as a marriage contract. That is included the following items

1-A copy of holy book ( Quran) ,
2- traditionally the amount of prophet 'daughter ( Hazarat Fatima) ,the dowry which Imam Ali (AS) gave to her wife ,as a blessing is inserted in this document.
3- A special Mirror
4- Gold , a set ( necklace ,bracelet ,earrings )
5- Pilgrimage to Mecca
6- The ownership of a house or a part of a house should be officially given to girl.

All of the articles in this document are negotiable and before the wedding ceremony , both families come to the agreement in amicably atmosphere.

It is better to know that in Iran marriage has two steps , first the girl and boy officially are registered as a wife and husband , in this step the the amount of dowry which is undertaken by boy fixed ,and it is written on a paper as a document ,the close relatives sign the document as witnesses . In this step relatives and friends from both families gather in big saloon and received by fruits , ice-cream, drinks , confectioneries , and special marriage contract cake.
Before the ceremony starts , the bride was taken to hairdresser salon and the bride groom decorate his car with flowers and pick up the bride from hairdresser salon and comes to the party .
During the ceremony bride and bride groom sit in special place and a clergy man invites the couple to declare their consent by addressing them some special words and sentences. After the bride answers positively , they are called wife and husband. Then the couple divided the cake ,the cake distributed among the people in saloon.

The dowry which is given by bride's family is called Tocher. The apparatuses and furniture which are taken by the bride to her husband's house is called "Tocher". This word is taken from Arabic word "jahaz" or "jahiziyeh"
The preparing bride's tocher is one of the most important things. Here under we are going to make a list of things that usually includes in the bride's tocher.
1) Bride and groom's bedroom furniture: It includes double bed, end tables, commode, dresser, bed sheets and pillow clothes. Some extra bedclothes, bed sheets and pillow covers for guest. Some bedclothes, bed sheets, and pillow covers for guest.
2) Proper curtains for each window for example: curtain for kitchen, bedrooms and living room.
3) Living room furniture, dinner table and chairs.
4) Carpet
5) Vacuum
6) Decorative things such as pictures, drawings and different statuettes.
7) Clock or horologe.
8) Library
9) Refrigerator (Refrigerator)
10) One set of chinaware and porelain dishes or plates
11) Washing machine
12) Gas burner (over)
13) One set of autoclave, stew pan and pan.
14) Crystal dishes for different purposes. Utensil and kitchenware.
15) Few sets of glasses
16) Tableware.
17) Samovar, and teapot. Plus a teaset
18) Set of spoon and fork
19) Sets of Fork and knife plus dessert plates.
20) Knife, colander and ladle
21) Water bottle, flask, cruse and glassware
22) Boxes of castor or condiment and spice boxes place for the tea, sugar, and sugar loaf 23) Kitchen apron and towels
24) Fridge Special utensils
25) Boskets and plastic dustbins in different sizes
26) Trencher and special boards for cutting meat and green vegetables
27) Electrical mill 28) Preparing boxes of legume, cereal, rice, spices, tea and sugar.
29) Rope for hanging cloths and clothespin.
30) Workbag, some colorful bobbins needle and scissors.
31) Separate towels for bride and groom
32) Necessary things for bath and washroom.
33) Few nightgowns and pajama plus various underwears for the bride
34) Towels 35) Iron and its cover
36) Crystal vases in different sizes.

The tocher is a conventional custom among the people , it is not obligatory , so the value of different ,it is cost from 10000$ to 1000000$ , it depends on the financial ability of girls family.
As I told you in Iran marriage has two steps , I explained about the first step , After the couple were called wife and husband , they don't live together until the second ceremony. It may takes between 3 months to 2 years. When the bride groom buys or rent his house , the bride's family send a person to that house to measure the doors and windows for curtain , the bride choose her curtain and they will be installed behind the doors and windows. Then a date is fixed for bringing all of tocher to the bride groom 's house.
Another wedding party will be hold and people invited for dinner . After finishing the party Bride and bride groom goes to their new house by riding their decorated car , and their family and relatives and friends follow them in their car , the make a lot of noise in the streets by horns of their car and finally throw the new couple in their new house to have the first night of life together.

It is a long story , it is 12.45 and I should go to bed , if you didn't get the story ,please feel free to ask me any detail
All the best
Mohsen
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Mohsen » Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:09 pm

Good night Elham,

Welcome my friend , I don't know why you left us ,but I am happy to see your post.

Wish you the best
Mohsen
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Hi, dear Behnam,Amal and Elham

Postby shahrubanu » Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:27 pm

I feel your great friendship in my heart deeply.I really like your friendship.Please forgive me I couldn t write here for a long time,because I m very busy.As you know,I have started to teach in a private school,working in here makes me very tired.I don t know what I m going to do }: I don t want to work in here anymore ,but I have to need regular salary.I haven t got time to read books,watch films or sign to internet.In brief, I have no time for my personal life.
I want to teach in a puplic school soon otherwise I will be a person who is out of life
I always need your friendships, I love your friendship.You create a beautiful place in my life..
All you are very precious for me ,please always hold this fact in your mind..
I wish all your dreams come true soon in this new year.I wish Allah always protects you..

Great love to my friends..


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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby arman » Thu Jan 02, 2014 8:48 am

Hello! I have been away for long time and I would admit that I miss this forum. Anyway, I see this thread earlier and caught my attention. I like all posted discussion here. I read all threads here. It seems that all who posted here know each other well. Happy new year to all!
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