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Now, I am confused!

Postby behnam » Thu Jan 23, 2014 7:07 am

Hi Amal,

How are you? I hope you are fine.

Now, I am confused! What do you mean? What Mohsen has mentioned are items that the girl's family gives to her and she takes them with herself to the boy's house, either it is rented, or his father has given to him, or in some cases, the house is also given by girl's father!Boys pay nothing! Although there are different wedding ceremonies which differ from tribe to tribe, people to people, family to family, culture to culture, etc. the main idea is the same: In Iran there is no 'تقدم' or 'تأخر'!

'عندالاستطاعه' or 'عندالمطالبه' is, somehow, the price of the girl which is written in the marriage document. I am not insulting girls. Actually, I don't know the equivalents of 'نقد' and 'نسيه' in English. Suppose you got to a grocery store to do the shopping. You haven't received your salary yet, or your husband is working in a governmental organization, it is the middle of the month, so poor man is not paid yet. You are run out of money, so you may say to the shopkeeper who knows you, "Excuse me! I will pay it by the end of this month, please write it down in your notebook". This is called 'نسيه'. It is said 'نقد'If you open your purse proudly and pay for the things[well, you haven't made it, so you easily spend it. As every unemployed woman, you enjoy spending it, I know! :lol: {-: :lol:]

Boys don't pay it. They just say, "I will pay it whenever you ask=عندالمطالبه", or a smarter version, "I will pay it whenever I can=عندالاستطاعه"! Well, when the price of girls are much too much high, poor boys find a way to get rid of it! :lol: {-: :lol:

Last week, a girl in my wife's family has engaged. The price of her is 2500 Iranian gold Coins! Each Iranian gold coin is about $500. A simple mathematics shows that the price of that girl is about $1,250,000! It is mind-blowing, isn't it? Who can give this amount of money? Nobody! However, if a person can give this amount of money, in my opinion, that person is stupid! By this amount of money one can sleep-until his dying day- with a virgin girl every night in abroad. {-: :lol: {-:

I may sound silly or stupid right now. I am not laughing at all. I am really crying. I am crying for this stupidity in my country! This is disastrous!

From the begging of the life, boys and girls start lying to each other. "I will pay whenever you ask for it"! Well, suppose the girl is going to ask tomorrow, next month, next year, etc. Will you pay? No! So, why are you lying? "I can't marry if I don't lie"! Amazingly, the girl knows that the boy is lying, but she agrees! This is really strange! This is ridiculous! This is a great compromise based on lies! One can easily guess about the events which are going to be happened in their life.

Are we following Islam and its rules? Never! So what? Are we Muslims? Yes we are. How? I don't know, we think God is like a powerful king and there are some people around him in his palace. We will find a way to fool Him, since we will find a person who is so close to God and then all things will be solved!

About Hijab, I am not going to write anymore. It is possible to awaken an asleep person, but it is not possible to awaken someone who is pretending to be asleep! The story of Hijab has been finished. Thankfully, women have received their rights in modern countries! Also in some Islamic countries they are allowed to put their...on display. A man like me sounds stupid and fundamentalist if he speaks about Hijab. I have no choice, either to participate in this competition; to let my wife become partially naked, consequently, to get the honour of becoming an open-minded man, or to come to terms with being labeled by narrow-mindedness and things like that! I won't follow them, if all the population of the world disagree with Hijab!

The West, thankfully, gave the women their human rights, that is to say by the definition of women's rights they had they gave the women freedom! Freedom of what? Freedom of offering themselves to the men without being paid the prices! Fulfilling men sexual needs for free and being still single! What else men need to be happy in the West?

Now, the mission about women's rights is accomplished. Another mission has been defined for satellite TV stations and the media! What is that? Freedom of gay marriage! It means that they are going to scale the open-mindedness of people by a new gauge! What is that gauge? You are modern, open-minded, wise, ...if you support gay marriage! If you disagree, you are stupid, narrow-minded, fundamentalist, ...!

The future projects will be about freedom of animal-human marriage! Dogs are much loyal than men! Cats are funny, etc.! You may laugh at me, but try to have a big field-of-view! You will see these things, just wait!

just be careful, they can easily introduce new scales and gauges, consequently, they can easily change the values and beliefs. This is a dirty game, but unfortunately, from the beginning of the history, some devilish people are playing with people's beliefs and values! They think of people as game pieces! They are fighting with God actually! Why did he say, "فانظرني الا يوم الجزاء"? That's obvious!

Just to mention, in the future, they may introduce different gauges to measure the open-mindedness of people, BUT, wise people should not let be measured, if they want to keep their beliefs, religions, values, etc. Don't let others measure you by the gauges they are using, try to scale phenomena by your own scales!

I wrote those things to all readers, although the post was addressed to my dear Muslim friend and sister Amal who has proved to be a real Muslim by all its definition!

All the best,
Behnam, 23 January, 2014
ارادتمند شما
*بهنام *
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Mohsen » Fri Jan 24, 2014 7:32 pm

Hi Amal

I hope you seize the moments , If you find a person who is deserve for his sincerity, decentness and faith don't miss him ,the financial problem will be solved ,he takes you to Mecca in future .
Sorry to reply late , I was busy with my job this week , I went to Tehran as my boss order ,he assigned me doing a mission , I was tired to be in Tehran for two days , I went by bus , of course the bus was VIP and had large seats ,the seat changed to bed ,but I couldn't sleep well in the bus , but I have good memories from Tehran ,because people of Tehran were polite and respected highly their customer .
Today is Friday and holiday in Iran I went to the park at noun and walked for one hour with my wife ,then we went to her parent's house for eating lunch, I couldn't do anything today ,just resting

Dear, I didn't understand this part: "6- The ownership of a house or a part of a house should be officially given to girl."
But why he would give her a house??! And isn't it too expensive? What if the boy himself didn't have a house? Or in other words, he can't afford it?!


About your question for part 6 , The house has an ownership document ,so a part of the house ( two-sixth of the house ownership) should be transferred in the name of girl in notary public. , if the boy doesn't have a house ,his father house , or a part of garden , a part of a land given to girl.
The items in wedding document are conventional , in Iran people are the ownership of their house , and if someone hasn't an ownership of a house, his father helps him , for example if Behnam is not the owner of a house , his father has a big garden in Azarbyjan ,so his father gives a part of his garden to Behnam's wife.

About 'عندالاستطاعه' or 'عندالمطالبه',I have not heard about 'عندالاستطاعه' , we have only 'عندالمطالبه' ,it means that whenever the girl asked for items which has been stipulated in wedding contract, her husband should gives them to her , or the equalling value of items by money payment . Some items are normally given to her ,like the set of Gold , travelling to Mecca , a part of house , but some items are given to her if she would be divorced .

One of my friend married 10 years ago , but his wife couldn't tolerate him , because my friend was interested in English ,he was master in English and taught in university , his world was only English language, ever day when he came back to house ,he sat on the sofa and read English book , he watched only English movies or Satellite English Channel, he had not time to speak with his wife at home ,after a year they started quarrelling. I interfered in their life and said to my friend " you are crazy, poor your wife who is living with you under a roof" , let make the long story short ,finally he divorced his wife , he had to sell his house and gave his wife 's Mehr . Now his wife is living with her parents ,but she is rich , she bought an expensive car and a shop, selling natural flowers.
My crazy friend went abroad and living there now. I believe that people in Esfahan who are very interested in English language are crazy, because I saw some of them, like my friend, who burned their life. :cry:

All the best
Mohsen
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Mohsen » Fri Jan 24, 2014 7:59 pm


Hi Behnam,

I read your last post and enjoyed it , I was coming back from Tehran by a bus yesterday. There was a girl in the bus sitting in front seat ,she use a thick layer make up ,wearing a tight red dress , she didn't wear her scarf in bus ,because she used special hair model and she wanted to show it. I wanted to mentioned her to wear her scarf ,but my colleague who was sitting beside me didn't let me . He told me " Mohsen please sit on your seat and enjoy watching her".

These days some girls use a gauge to measure the reaction of boys .
What is your idea? Should we mentioned a points to some girls who didn't use Hejab or not? As you know Hejab is obligatory in Islam as well as Amr be maroof (امر به معروف).

All the best,
Mohsen
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby [amal] » Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:20 pm

Women must wear Hejab as it's written in Koran but it's also written :
قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ
I don't know why men forget this!!! :-x
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Mohsen » Thu Jan 30, 2014 7:18 pm


Hi Amal ,

It is clear that why men forget this, in this part of Koran God addresses to the believing men to cast down their look ,but majority of men are not believing men ,they only believe God by words ,not by heart. This is also for women (وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ ) ,in this part God addresses to the believing women to cast down their look , but why women forget it , the answer is the same as answer for men.

There always two internal forces which are quarreling in our mind, a force which is arising from believing in God ..the faith and the force which is resulting of devilish thoughts. When the women make themselves attractive by using make up and showing some parts their body , the devilish thoughts prevail over the pure faith .

Have a good time
Mohsen
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Mohsen » Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:38 pm


Dear Friends ,

How are you , hope you enjoy from snow and watching beautiful winter.

MY wish for one day is that to write down on my white board " Today there is nothing to do " and finally today morning I wrote it after I changed my mind not to go to work and stay home ,all day to rest , it was very cold today ,we say that it was such a cold that my bones was frozen or my bones was burst.
At morning I made a decision to go to bed, so I went under the quilt and wrapped the quilt around my body in a way that only my two eyes are seen. I needed my eyes to watch TV , I changed many English news channels and checked the last news in the world , listening to many lies which this English channels said to people of the world until I went to sleep.
It was only passed half an hour which I started out of sleep by phone ringing. The other side of phone was my sister who was crying and asked me to dropped by there in a wind speed . The story was that her boy took his father's car and crashed to the wall in a place near to their house. When I arrived there the car was pressed on the wall ,and there was a lot of class bits everywhere on the ground . Fortunately Ali (the boy) was in health ,only there were some skin abrasions which were bleeding. It was a bit of odd and weird that he was in health ,because he didn't fasten the seat belt and crushed the car front glass by his head. I took him to the hospital to scan his head , God gave him a new life ,the C T scan didn't show any kind of defects.
My sister asked me to advise her boy, because he is not in age to get driving license. We talked together, and I asked Ali not to drive his father 'car any more. I told him " Ali, you are a 17 year high school student ,you have time for driving car ,it is better to focus on your school lessens now and be ready for university entrance exam , but he was busy with his mobile phone ,when I advising him… :-(
I ate my lunch in my sister's house , In the evening I was coming back home , on the way I picked up my wife from her mother's house . It was heavy snowing on the street and the snow on the windshield was frozen. I wiped it by a piece of clothes ,because the wipers could clean it . It was difficult to drive on the frozen street , and I was very slow and cautious.

When I got the house , I rubbed the white board and wrote " never there is no problem" :roll:
I surly go to work tomorrow although the last news from TV announced that schools will be closed tomorrow.

All the best
Mohsen
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby Mohsen » Tue Feb 04, 2014 7:24 pm

Dear Friends,

Nothing happen if we change our habits ,just a new life perspective, first step can be scary to make a change, to change what we every day do ,but when we do it we feel light and satification.
Today I wore my sport shoes at morning ,wore a woolen hat and a woolen shawl around my neck ,I decided to go to work by bus (BRT line) . This was my first time I decided to go to work by bus ,I went to the bus kiosk to buy a BRT card ,then I follow the people to learn how they put their card on checking unit and inter the bus station.
That was difficult job to move out from confortable way of life (going by my own car). It was uncomfortable ,but if we want to grow we should feel uncomfortable . I had made decision to use public bus for many times,but it was my laziness which often leads me to procrastination .
Today I was very happy and satisfied with myself ,finally I succeeded to change one of my habits.
I felt that I shared myself to remove one of the social problems, also walking from home to bus station and from bus station in destination to my work place helps me lifting weight.
Sometime my boss says something which is not expected from him "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for"
Do you think about changing in your life habits , please share it for me,if you have any expreince .may it is useful for me.

All the best,
Mohsen
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby setayesh » Sun Feb 09, 2014 4:24 pm

Hi my dear friends

I've missed you so much.This is just to let you know you are always in my heart.

regards

seti
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby mortaza » Sun Feb 09, 2014 6:06 pm

Dear Setayesh,

We miss you too! How are you? You must be graduated from university by now! Am I right? Would you please remind me of your major? I've forgotten!

Bets regards,

Moratza
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Re: Let's learn together!

Postby mortaza » Sun Feb 09, 2014 7:00 pm

Dear Mohsen,

Thank you very much for keeping this thread active, thank you for your beautiful writings.

Breaking habits! It seems very exciting! It seems also a bit frightening at the same time!

It is now more than 6 years since we moved to this city, Damghan. It is because of my job. Everyday looks like the day before. The life is no longer fun or exciting (at least to me). I don't know how many more years we should stay here. If I am lucky, I would get a position in a university near my hometown and, then, we would move there.

Some of my colleagues never moved to this city. They still live in their hometown with their families. Every week, they take a train and get here, stay here for a few days (and nights!) and, after that, they take a train to return to their home to stay with their family during the weekend.

Sometimes, I am tempted to do just like my colleagues do (as mentioned above). However, as sometimes my colleagues confess, traveling every week is frustrating. It takes a lot of time and energy. (Compare this to your story: going to work by bus instead of your personal car.) When I make some calculations, again I decide not to move and stay here for a few more years!!

There are lots of things in everyone's life, I believe, that should be changed or broken for a better life. For example, instead of working a lot, one may spend more time on his hubbies. Moving from one place (house) to another is also a solution to make some fun in life; if this is not possible, at least we can change the decoration of our house. Planting also seems a good activity.

Let finish it here. I am looking forward to hear from you (everyone) soon.

Best regards,

Mortaza
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