Please check my writing

Members help members on grammar, vocab, pronunciation...

Moderator: EC

Post Reply
Boithol
Member
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:34 pm
Status: Learner of English

Please check my writing

Post by Boithol »

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near
your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

I have been living in my small town very harmoniously and quietly for generations. The XYZ Company has announced recently that they are building a new garment factory in our community. I completely disagree with the announcement made by the XYZ Company. The factory would not only destroy our environment but also take away our tranquility and serenity, which we have been cherishing for the longest time.

The primary concern that I feel regarding the factory is to destroy the environment of our community. The natural beauty of our community is fascinating and charming, but making the factory would destroy the green treasure of our community.

The factory would increase the traffic volume in our community. Our roads, which are not built for commercial traffic, are very small and narrow. Due to the factory the huge trucks and lorry would run through our roads, which increase the vulnerability of our streets.

The factory would also contribute insecurity in our community. The children of our community play outside freely without any fear to getting kidnap or missing. The factory would bring many unknown faces in our tightknit community, where everybody knows each other.

In conclusion, although the factory would bring new jobs to our community, it would increase pollution, traffic congestion and insecurity in our community.
untaught
Member
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2014 12:46 am
Status: Learner of English

Re: Please check my writing

Post by untaught »

What about "it would also increase..."?
keithsmith
Member
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2014 1:47 am
Status: Learner of English

Re: Please check my writing

Post by keithsmith »

You have written in a good manner. Almost everything is right. Congrats.....
Post Reply