Search found 23 matches

by BadDisciple
Thu Jun 21, 2018 11:27 am
Forum: Creative Writing
Topic: Correctness of a phrase in song lyrics
Replies: 2
Views: 627

Re: Correctness of a phrase in song lyrics

"I see you now having crossed my way. I’m stunned!" "I see you now having crossed my path . I’m stunned!" :ok: may be better "...you who came like a living myth, a light beam..." "...you who came like a living myth, a beam of light ..." may be better "I will give you all my passion flames..." :nok:...
by BadDisciple
Mon Jun 18, 2018 9:08 pm
Forum: Creative Writing
Topic: Correctness of a phrase in song lyrics
Replies: 2
Views: 627

Correctness of a phrase in song lyrics

Hello all, I've got uncertainty with few phrases I write for a song. Some of them seem to not stand good English. Here: "I see you now having crossed my way. I’m stunned!" "...you who came like a living myth, a light beam..." "I will give you all my passion flames..." or "I will give you all my flam...
by BadDisciple
Fri Sep 15, 2017 8:46 am
Forum: Creative Writing
Topic: Correctness of a phrase in lyrics for a song
Replies: 3
Views: 1645

Re: Correctness of a phrase in lyrics for a song

Thanks for your suggestion. Never the less, this not only breaks the rhyming but also the meaning and also the rhythmic meter. It's a poetry, not just a talk. And I need the phrase "black and white" which is kind of emblematic. I anyway have been advised to use: "Do you dream in colors or dream in b...
by BadDisciple
Thu May 25, 2017 9:25 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Another "correctness of a phrase for lyrics" question
Replies: 1
Views: 1291

Another "correctness of a phrase for lyrics" question

Hi again, I have a little doubt about which of these two phrases (for lyrics of a song) would be more "expressive": 1. "Beautiful rainbows do you hope to see if looking down? No, in the sky they'll be." 2. "Beautiful rainbows do you think you'll see if looking down? No, in the sky they'll be." (The ...
by BadDisciple
Sun May 21, 2017 2:38 pm
Forum: Creative Writing
Topic: Correctness of a phrase in lyrics for a song
Replies: 3
Views: 1645

Correctness of a phrase in lyrics for a song

Hello everyone, Here a question about the correctness of a phrase which is meant for the lyrics in a song. Not being a native English speaker, I'm in a doubt which of these phrases is perfectly correct/incorrect in English? 1. "Do you dream in colors or you dream in black and white?" 2. "Do you drea...
by BadDisciple
Wed May 17, 2017 10:32 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Correctness of a phrase
Replies: 1
Views: 1139

Correctness of a phrase

Hello everyone, Here a question about the correctness of a phrase which is meant for the lyrics in a song. Not being a native English speaker, I'm in a doubt which of these two phrases is correct/incorrect in English? 1. Do you dream in colors or you dream in black and white? 2. Do you dream in colo...
by BadDisciple
Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:25 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: ... writing some lyrics for a song ...
Replies: 3
Views: 2617

Re: ... writing some lyrics for a song ...

Hi Sueandcat,
That sounds really so flattering to me, as if you, a professional linguist, tell me this, what else could I expect better? Thank you greatly.
by BadDisciple
Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:10 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: ... writing some lyrics for a song ...
Replies: 3
Views: 2617

... writing some lyrics for a song ...

Hello, I'm writing some lyrics for a song and I want to put few quotes by well known men but I needed to re-phrase them for good "scanning" with the music. Not being a native English speaker, I always feel unsure about the linguistic/meaningful correctness. So an English speaker's advice is most wel...
by BadDisciple
Sun Aug 21, 2016 12:04 pm
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: Wondering about an phrase
Replies: 5
Views: 1380

Re: Wondering about an phrase

That's pretty hard to do 'cause you didn't write the prhase before; anyway, I suggestion you "I say bye no more" or s/t like this. I hope it helped, at least a bit :-D D. In fact here's my additional posting: To clarify my phrase, it's not a question but a statement, so it comes in the place of: "A...
by BadDisciple
Thu Aug 18, 2016 9:56 pm
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: Wondering about an phrase
Replies: 5
Views: 1380

Re: Wondering about an phrase

Thanks you guys for confirming. To clarify my phrase, it's not a question but a statement, so it comes in the place of: "And I will never say good bye". But exactly for rhyming with "good bye", I thought of putting it as: "And never will I say good bye". Hopefully it really stands well for correct E...
by BadDisciple
Wed Aug 10, 2016 9:35 am
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: Wondering about an phrase
Replies: 5
Views: 1380

Wondering about an phrase

Hello all, I'm writing a song and there is one phrase that I need to modify for rhyming purposes. Not being a native English speaker, I wonder if it stands for correct English. Here is the phrase: .."And never will I say good bye"... Thanks a million for your feedback, I'll soon need to record the s...
by BadDisciple
Sun Aug 04, 2013 10:52 am
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: "made" or "done" ?
Replies: 4
Views: 8066

"made" or "done" ?

Hail all, Not being a native English speaker, I'm writing some lyrics for a song and I'm stuck with a line where I need to use the word 'sacrifices' and for rhyming purposes I prefer use it with 'done'. But I checked around and it seems that one should say "sacrifices made" and not "sacrifices done"...
by BadDisciple
Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:21 pm
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: ...this question for the lyrics...
Replies: 1
Views: 3553

...this question for the lyrics...

Hello everybody, Not being a native English speaker and always having a doubt when it comes to fine expressions in writing, I have this question for the lyrics of a song I write: which of the two stands better? Here: " Earth and sea mingling... memories and winds … " or " Land and sea mingling... me...
by BadDisciple
Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:56 am
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: Hesitating on an expression
Replies: 4
Views: 4623

Re: Hesitating on an expression

Reindeer, thanks for the advice. Anyway, as we both are no native English speakers we should both need an advice, shouldn't we...

BD
by BadDisciple
Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:31 pm
Forum: Creative Writing
Topic: Hesitating on an expression
Replies: 2
Views: 7975

Hesitating on an expression

Hail all, Not being a native English speaker I'll always need an advice when it comes to tricky or fine expressions. Here I'm writing a song about a traveling guy who gives a promise having the best intentions, but his way of life doesn't allow him to keep his word. So I've come to an expression ".....
by BadDisciple
Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:15 pm
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: Hesitating on an expression
Replies: 4
Views: 4623

Re: Hesitating on an expression

Ok, it's like the guy is making promises and the promises are "condamned" not to be kept:

“I’ll come again”…
“I won’t forget”…

...words left in the sand...

==>or
[…just words in the sand…]

BD
by BadDisciple
Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:06 pm
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: Hesitating on an expression
Replies: 4
Views: 4623

Hesitating on an expression

Hail all, Not being a native English speaker I'll always need an advice when it comes to tricky or fine expressions. Here I'm writing a song about a traveling guy who gives a promise having the best intentions, but his way of life doesn't allow him to keep his word. So I've come to an expression ".....
by BadDisciple
Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:54 pm
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: sick of a phrase... :-((
Replies: 2
Views: 2365

Re: sick of a phrase... :-((

Finally now I've come up with the following options: 1. "You and I know that perfect is no one" 2. "You and I know in perfection there's no one" 3. "You and I know that a perfect one is none" 4. "You and I know that perfect one's no one" 5. "You and I know that a perfect one is no one" 6. "You and I...
by BadDisciple
Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:30 am
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: for my lyrics
Replies: 4
Views: 5241

Re: for my lyrics

Hello and great thanks for your feedback!
(With big latency, as it took me time till I undertake work on that song again.)
I'll will use your advices for "curve of" and "thrill" they sound good to me and I like them.
Best vibes !
Bad Disciple
by BadDisciple
Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:59 am
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: sick of a phrase... :-((
Replies: 2
Views: 2365

sick of a phrase... :-((

Of course I'll never speak English as well as a native English speaker... So, could anyone give advice which one of the forms of the following expression sounds right Englishwise: 1. "You and I know that perfect is no one" 2. "You and I know that a perfect one is none" 3. "You and I know that perfec...
by BadDisciple
Sat Apr 23, 2011 8:08 am
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: for my lyrics
Replies: 4
Views: 5241

Re: for my lyrics

Thanks for your feedback. In fact, I forgot to mention that - as these are the lyrics of a song - I need to pay attention to the number of syllables and the accents. So, in the case 1 I need a one-syllable word. In case 2 I need a one- or maximum two-syllable word, so the word "vibrations" doesn't f...
by BadDisciple
Wed Apr 20, 2011 10:34 am
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: for my lyrics
Replies: 4
Views: 5241

for my lyrics

Hail all, I'm writing lyrics for a song and (being not a native English speaker) I have sometimes linguistic "bugs'. In the case here, it's the following two expressions: 1. "To see the curve in your lips". The word "curve" doesn't sound to me, but that's what I want to say - the nice shape, the cur...
by BadDisciple
Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:30 am
Forum: Help Each Other with English
Topic: Help for an "odd" phrase
Replies: 2
Views: 3349

Help for an "odd" phrase

Hello all, I am NOT a native English speaker. I learned and speak English from very long time. I write lyrics for songs which some times I try to make a kind of poetic. Here I have a question about one phrase which I can't feel the best way to put it in. I've imagined two versions of it: 1. You and ...