GOAL SETTING!

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Do you set goals for yourself?

Yes
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Post by MissLT »

tearHERE5189 wrote: for long-term goaLs.. i don't make a list like that on new year's..
I don't do this anymore; I used to, though. Since the day I started using the dayplanner thing, I could see my long goalswould be accomplished through the small goals. The dayplanner is kinda like my diary now. Last New Year, I was checking my dayplanner of the previous year, it was so funny to me to see what I did in that year because some of them were so silly :lol: .
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Post by Shazzam »

LennyeTran wrote:
tearHERE5189 wrote: for long-term goaLs.. i don't make a list like that on new year's..
I don't do this anymore; I used to, though. Since the day I started using the dayplanner thing, I could see my long goalswould be accomplished through the small goals. The dayplanner is kinda like my diary now. Last New Year, I was checking my dayplanner of the previous year, it was so funny to me to see what I did in that year because some of them were so silly :lol: .
How good is that though Lenny is is like you are writing your own little novel. 8) When you can look back at what you did each year as you grow you have the basis for an autobiography! Excellent.

I wish I had kept some of my diaries from when I was young. You don't even realise when you are goal setting with a diary that you are actually doing this; but when you look back it is like a photo album of your life (if you keep them). 8) 8) :)
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Post by MissLT »

shazzam1452 wrote: I wish I had kept some of my diaries from when I was young. You don't even realise when you are goal setting with a diary that you are actually doing this; but when you look back it is like a photo album of your life (if you keep them). 8) 8) :)
I used to write diaries, but then I had to burn them all because of my sister and cousins who read my diary for fun. You know, when you were a kid, you liked to write things about boys you liked. I once wrote about one of cousin's friends whom I liked, and gosh, they made fun of me whenever he came over. They even called me Mrs. with his name attached to it. I hated it, so I burnt the all diaries in anger. Man, if I hadn't done that, I would have had diaries of my childhood to read :( .
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Post by pob »

LennyeTran wrote: I used to write diaries, but then I had to burn them all because of my sister and cousins who read my diary for fun. Man, if I hadn't done that, I would have had diaries of my childhood to read :( .
You should have burned your sister and cousins and not your diary. :twisted:


are they now the same stupid people they were? :roll:
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Post by MissLT »

pob wrote: You should have burned your sister and cousins and not your diary. :twisted:


are they now the same stupid people they were? :roll:
Excuse me, I don't really care if you know me well enough or not, but there is one thing you must keep in mind-- no one, and I repeat, no one can insult my family and walk away without my hatred. Firstly, you do not know them; therefore, they haven't done anything to you to get your insults like that. Secondly, if you have a problem with me, send your complains to the Administrator. Do not insult my family because you think you wouldn't get banned for not breaking the rule of bashing another member. Thirdly, I was sharing my story with Shazzam and other members. If you thought I was sharing my story with you and you disliked it, please send your complains to the Administrator. Do not lash out at people who haven't done anything to you, and especially my family. It's because when you insult them, you'll insult me indirectly. Thus, if I see another post of yours like this one, I will send a complain to the Administrator. Right now, I am demanding your apology.
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Post by pob »

LennyeTran wrote: 1-Excuse me, I don't really care if you know me well enough or not, but there is one thing you must keep in mind-- no one, and I repeat, no one can insult my family and walk away without my hatred.

2- Firstly, you do not know them; therefore, they haven't done anything to you to get your insults like that.

3- Secondly, if you have a problem with me, send your complains to the Administrator. Do not insult my family because you think you wouldn't get banned for not breaking the rule of bashing another member.

4- Thirdly, I was sharing my story with Shazzam and other members. If you thought I was sharing my story with you and you disliked it, please send your complains to the Administrator.

5- Do not lash out at people who haven't done anything to you, and especially my family. It's because when you insult them, you'll insult me indirectly. Thus, if I see another post of yours like this one, I will send a complain to the Administrator. Right now, I am demanding your apology.

1- Great thing that about hatred...

2- I've said if they are still stupid... do you think they are not stupid? do you think I am not stupid? do you think you are not stupid? do you think your family is perfect?
I was not insulting your family, everybody does stupid things, and some people change... I was asking if they have changed

3- I have no problem with you. I repeat I was not insulting, but I'm sorry if there are taboo words in this forum.

4- I thought the forum is for everybody :D and your story as well, since I was able to read and participate.

5- You have all my apologies. But firstly, you could have sent me a message, I almost don't read this message of yours. And secondly, don't feel so offended, nobody is perfect and your family neither. We are human beings and do a lot of stupid things and so we are stupids... but sometimes we change, and I was asking about that change, not insulting.

Send complains if you will feel better. There's no problem, I assume how I express what I think, and if I'm not the kind of people to be in the forum, so they should act.
You can help me with my English by telling me my mistakes in a private message. Thanks :)
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Post by Hardi »

U know what, in my mother tongue is no future tense.
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Post by pob »

Hardi wrote:U know what, in my mother tongue is no future tense.
what do you mean?
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Post by Hardi »

Do I meaned anything at all? I don't know :?
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Post by MissLT »

pob wrote: 2- I've said if they are still stupid... do you think they are not stupid? do you think I am not stupid? do you think you are not stupid? do you think your family is perfect?
I was not insulting your family, everybody does stupid things, and some people change... I was asking if they have changed
This is the sentence that you should have given me in your previous post. I've read your posts, and I believe your English is proficient; therefore, you know how to ask a question without insulting another member.
Let me rephrase your question again, "Are they now the same stupid people they were?" Can you see the rudeness in this sentence. Firstly, you don't know them nor me well enough to talk that way. Secondly, do you know anything about personal boundary? You don't know me well enough to judge my family to me. You're not my best friend or my family member, etc. You're just a peson in this forum who exchange posts with me. Thus, what made you think you've got the right to judge my family to me?
pob wrote:3- I have no problem with you. I repeat I was not insulting, but I'm sorry if there are taboo words in this forum.
It's a rude word if you don't know me well enough to talk like that about my family to me. People do stupid things once in their lifetime; however, it doesn't mean you can come to one person and tell that person you think his/her family members are stupid or that person is stupid without knowing them well. Would you be offended if someone said that to you? If you wouldn't, I must say there is something wrong with you. Hate me for this all you want but I'd still think something was wrong with you if you didn't get offended.
Anyway, if you think what you did was wrong, then apologize and I will accept it. However, if you think what you did wasn't wrong, then don't apologize. I've been given empty apologies, and let me tell you, those peole are worst than people who don't apologize at all. People who don't aplogize for what they did are ignorants, but people who apologize and don't mean it are arrogants. I can forgive an ignorant, but not an arrogant.
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Post by pob »

Hardi wrote:Do I meaned anything at all? I don't know :?
fdsa lker dannk reañkju !!
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Post by Hardi »

subtitles?
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Post by pob »

LennyeTran wrote: 1- This is the sentence that you should have given me in your previous post. I've read your posts, and I believe your English is proficient; therefore, you know how to ask a question without insulting another member.

2- Let me rephrase your question again, "Are they now the same stupid people they were?" Can you see the rudeness in this sentence. Firstly, you don't know them nor me well enough to talk that way.

3- You don't know me well enough to judge my family to me.

4- what made you think you've got the right to judge my family to me?

5- you can't come to one person and tell that person you think his/her family members are stupid or that person is stupid without knowing them well. (adapted)

6- Would you be offended if someone said that to you? If you wouldn't, I must say there is something wrong with you. Hate me for this all you want but I'd still think something was wrong with you if you didn't get offended.

7- Anyway, if you think what you did was wrong, then apologize and I will accept it. However, if you think what you did wasn't wrong, then don't apologize.

8- I've been given empty apologies, and let me tell you, those peole are worst than people who don't apologize at all.

9- People who don't aplogize for what they did are ignorants, but people who apologize and don't mean it are arrogants. I can forgive an ignorant, but not an arrogant.
1- I don't care about the phrase, you do. I mean I was asking that but you only saw a taboo word !!
About my English, the school language is placing me in 3º grade... there are 5º grades there, and 5º grade is more or less the knowledge needed for "FIRST" exam. But thanks :)

2- They did something stupid and so they were stupid. You can also say my way to express it was stupid, and so I am stupid as well. And there is nothing to be angry about.

3- Only the good people need time to be known. A bad behaviour or a stupid behaviour are instantly perceived by anyone... What they did was stupid !!

4- You're overacting... relax a bit when it comes to your family, do you think they are perfect?

5- I already said people change, and you already said they behaved stupidly that time.
What is the best way to know something? ASKING !!
What did I do? ... ask about the present time giving the fact of what they were in the past.

6- If they have reason, there is no use to be offended.
If they have no reason, there is no use to be offended.
Do you think I think I am perfect? or that my family is? I could have written something rude or even offensive, but I don't deceive myself about "truth".
If someone has reason, you must accept it. If someone has no reason you can laugh instead of getting angry. And if something is not bad with you, you can talk about anything, and not say that you want talk about... like a child !! (I didn't want to be offensive with that, but it's not good that you react in that way to a simple word, and it's rather childish)

7- Of course, I was partially wrong. As you are partially wrong getting so angry... Neither me nor you were completely right !!

8- Be careful with words... If someone kills a person and apologizes, he si better than a person who insults you and doesn't sincerely apologize?

9- So you don't give an option to a third posibility :lol: That's closing your eyes... and perhaps thinking that you are completely right?
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Post by MissLT »

pob wrote: 2- They did something stupid and so they were stupid. You can also say my way to express it was stupid, and so I am stupid as well. And there is nothing to be angry about.

3- Only the good people need time to be known. A bad behaviour or a stupid behaviour are instantly perceived by anyone... What they did was stupid !!

4- You're overacting... relax a bit when it comes to your family, do you think they are perfect?
Again, you still do not understand the personal boundary. You still do not know how to talk to a stranger, do you? Well, give yourself a day or two to think. Or perhaps, some years to think then come back and talk to me, okay. I don't like talking to people who know what they did was wrong, but still having a big mouth enough to argue about it.
pob wrote:5- I already said people change, and you already said they behaved stupidly that time.
I did not say anything about they were being stupid. I was just sharing my story. Reread my post.
pob wrote:What is the best way to know something? ASKING !!
What did I do? ... ask about the present time giving the fact of what they were in the past.
Exactly. Asking. And there are many ways to ask. You don't have to ask in a rude way.
pob wrote:6- If they have reason, there is no use to be offended.
If they have no reason, there is no use to be offended.
Do you think I think I am perfect? or that my family is? I could have written something rude or even offensive, but I don't deceive myself about "truth".
They are perfect or I think they're perfect or not is not your job to think about. Do you get that point? It's not your place to get there. I was sharing a story. If you think you couldn't ask in a nice way, don't ask at all. Since you don't know me or my family well, it's not your place to ask about them in such a rude way. It's unacceptable.
pob wrote:7- Of course, I was partially wrong. As you are partially wrong getting so angry... Neither me nor you were completely right !!
Defending for my family is never wrong. Again, I repeat, defending for my family is never wrong. If you hadn't been rude, this whole thing wouldn't had happened in the first place.
pob wrote:8- Be careful with words... If someone kills a person and apologizes, he si better than a person who insults you and doesn't sincerely apologize?
This is another situation. One act is extreme over another. It's not a justified comparason. Anyway, my answer is I would take the apology of the murder if he completely meant what he said; however, it won't bring time back. At least, it would heal some parts of my pain knowing that that person knew what he did was wrong.
Like I said in my previous post, I can forgive someone who knows what he/she did was wrong and sincerely apologize. I can forgive an ignorant over an arrogant. To me you're asking me this weird question because you didn't read my post carefully.
Anyway, I'm tired of you not knowing what you did was wrong and still yapping about it. Why don't you just ignore my posts whenever you see them. It'd be better for both of us, okay. I don't need anyone who gives their opinions about my family without asking. If I didn't ask, don't share what you think about them with me. It's rude and unacceptable to me. I've drawn a line, and I would love to see no one crosses it. End of discussion right here.
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Post by pob »

LennyeTran wrote: They are perfect or I think they're perfect or not is not your job to think about.

If you think you couldn't ask in a nice way, don't ask at all.
1- They did something stupid, so they were stupid... if you don't want to accept this, is because you think they are great, they are better than other human beings... and that's why you defend your point by rejecting the posibility of talking about how do you see them, without posibility of them to be stupid even in the past.

2- I didn't ask nicely. But you also didn't read nicely.
There is no communication if you don't read it.. and the same way I wrote not nicely, you read it in a bad way--> so what it was a bit disagreeable in the way it was written, but not in the meaning of the message, you made it an agression which carried you to hate...

I hope you someday decide to control your disposition to hate... that's not good thing...
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Post by Shazzam »

Well here is my goal for the next few months (hopefully longer; but i'm starting with a few months). I will try and build on it.

I want to do a small amount of exercise at least five days a week. I have been doing bike riding, weights and walking now for about three weeks and I feel better. I need to turn this into a lifestyle. So i'm going to set myself a goal to see if I can stick to it for 3 months). I am keeping a journal and I tick it off everyday after I have completed it.

It is actually becoming fun. I hope it stays that way! :lol: :lol:
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Post by MissLT »

pob wrote:
LennyeTran wrote: They are perfect or I think they're perfect or not is not your job to think about.

If you think you couldn't ask in a nice way, don't ask at all.
1- They did something stupid, so they were stupid... if you don't want to accept this, is because you think they are great, they are better than other human beings... and that's why you defend your point by rejecting the posibility of talking about how do you see them, without posibility of them to be stupid even in the past.
Tell me, did you even see this? It's not your business to say how they are since you don't know them. Learn something about personal boundary, okay.
pob wrote:2- I didn't ask nicely. But you also didn't read nicely.
There is no communication if you don't read it.. and the same way I wrote not nicely, you read it in a bad way--> so what it was a bit disagreeable in the way it was written, but not in the meaning of the message, you made it an agression which carried you to hate...
Are you kidding me with this? You just don't get it, do you? And did I tell you about ignoring my posts? If you can't see what you did was wrong, then don't talk to me. End of discussion, okay.
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Post by MissLT »

shazzam1452 wrote: I want to do a small amount of exercise at least five days a week. I have been doing bike riding, weights and walking now for about three weeks and I feel better. I need to turn this into a lifestyle. So i'm going to set myself a goal to see if I can stick to it for 3 months). I am keeping a journal and I tick it off everyday after I have completed it.
I've tried, and I believe I gave up in the third week. So, good luck to you. I hope you'll make it. I bet it will feel extremely good when you've made it. Well, I don't know how that feels like since I never actually have made it through with this kinda stuff. I hate setting time to do my exercise. It doesn't feel natural to me.
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Post by pob »

LennyeTran wrote:
1- Learn something about personal boundary, okay.

2- did I tell you about ignoring my posts? If you can't see what you did was wrong, then don't talk to me. End of discussion, okay.
1- Thanks for the advice.
And you could take as well an advice from me:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"

You have a problem. You lost your temper after reading a word, and after that you didn't try to change your mind. You didn't want to see the real intention of my message. Yoy only wanted to be angry, "defend" your family from an irreal attack...etc.

You have a problem if you care about words and not about the message within a phrase, whatever words it includes. You can be angry the first time because it was really not kind the way I asked that, but after that you have no reason to continue like you do... so you have a psychological problem.

I need to learn personal boundary, but you need to learn to read the message and not the words. You are over acting, and by the way you have said twice "end of discussion", but you continue it, because of your mental problem... you need to feel there is one and complete truth about somthing, so you can't accept that you also did read badly, not trying to get the message even after I explain it to you... and also you make exaggerated statements... this is a forum and if you don't want others to talk about something you wrote, you may ask to create an user group and only the people you admit there will be able to talk with you.


2- I wrote not kindly, but what I did was not wrong :P I asked if they are now kind people, but with other words... is wrong if I only ask "are they now kind people?" of course you wouldn't see the posibility of asking that the way I asked it... so you wouldn't say that was wrong...

I don't ignore anybody talking to me, so if you like hating, and ignoring others, you do that... my mind is healthy in that issue and so I won't do that. If you don't want me to reply you can either "End discussion" as you said twice, or call the people who rule this and tell them to fire me (if there is a reason).

And whatever you choose to do, I would like you after that to think about yourself and relax a bit... don't be offended so easily, don't see offenses where there are not, don't hate (in general), and don't say something you won't do. In short, don't deceive yourself. That's too bad for any person, and you are not different to the rest. You can't say that what I did badly is more than asking something in a way you misunderstood the message, and if you believe there is something more that I did badly, you are deceiving yourself... and you do it because something is bad in your mind... you could try to find what's that... it'll be great for your life and nerves.

See you in other situtation if you decide not to talk.
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Post by pob »

shazzam1452 wrote:
1- I want to do a small amount of exercise at least five days a week. I have been doing bike riding, weights and walking now for about three weeks and I feel better. I need to turn this into a lifestyle.


2- It is actually becoming fun. I hope it stays that way! :lol: :lol:
1- It's important to know how much exercise you used to do before that three weeks. If you didn't do much exercise, perhaps it's too hard for your body trying to do exercise 5 days a week, suddenly!!
Anyway, walking you should do everyday. And aout weights you should talk to some expert.

2- of course it's fun. And if you hope to stay that way, you have not to take your wishes (mind) farer than your body can go... you need to go step by step.... and talking with an expert can help you to know how far you must go in your first step.
:)
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Post by Shazzam »

pob wrote:
shazzam1452 wrote:
1- I want to do a small amount of exercise at least five days a week. I have been doing bike riding, weights and walking now for about three weeks and I feel better. I need to turn this into a lifestyle.


2- It is actually becoming fun. I hope it stays that way! :lol: :lol:
1- It's important to know how much exercise you used to do before that three weeks. If you didn't do much exercise, perhaps it's too hard for your body trying to do exercise 5 days a week, suddenly!!
Anyway, walking you should do everyday. And aout weights you should talk to some expert.

2- of course it's fun. And if you hope to stay that way, you have not to take your wishes (mind) farer than your body can go... you need to go step by step.... and talking with an expert can help you to know how far you must go in your first step.
:)
Thanks for your comments. I have been exercising for years but not regularly enough; so I know my limitations. I don't mean anything strenuous I mean a 30 minute walk; bike with weights (this is an exercise bike I have in my bedroom) I use 1kg weights (one for each arm) they are not heavy. I wouldn't attempt anything too much, because I know I wouldn't have the endurance.

But thankyou for your comments. I'm being easy on myself anyway I think you have to have 2 days a week when you relax from any routine. :lol:
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Post by pob »

Then, it's important to start doing exercise regularly and never stay more than 5 days without doing any. :)
If you want to do aerobic exercises, it's interesting to change the routine. For example you can walk for half an hour each day during 2 weeks. Next week walk more time, or walk faster. Next week walk + 5min. walking(?) upstairs... So you vary the way you exercise your body and specially your lungs

If you don't do hard exercise you don't need much relax... but relaxing is also important because of other reasons :) 2 days or more if we can :)

So, I think then you will achieve that goal !!

I also didn't do exercise regularly, but now I've started studying at University (mornings) and next week I start learning French (early afternoon) and Russian (evening) so I'll go all day walking :) and sometimes I'll try going to the swimmingpool before French and after Russian...
And I will also achieve that goal :D
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Post by Shazzam »

pob wrote:Then, it's important to start doing exercise regularly and never stay more than 5 days without doing any. :)
If you want to do aerobic exercises, it's interesting to change the routine. For example you can walk for half an hour each day during 2 weeks. Next week walk more time, or walk faster. Next week walk + 5min. walking(?) upstairs... So you vary the way you exercise your body and specially your lungs

If you don't do hard exercise you don't need much relax... but relaxing is also important because of other reasons :) 2 days or more if we can :)

So, I think then you will achieve that goal !!

I also didn't do exercise regularly, but now I've started studying at University (mornings) and next week I start learning French (early afternoon) and Russian (evening) so I'll go all day walking :) and sometimes I'll try going to the swimmingpool before French and after Russian...
And I will also achieve that goal :D
I'm sure you will. Good luck! :)
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Post by xiaomanman »

pob wrote:so you have a psychological problem..
haha! pob, you are not the first one who said the same sentance to the same one! :lol: :lol: :lol:

pob wrote:don't be offended so easily, don't see offenses where there are not...and you do it because something is bad in your mind... you could try to find what's that... it'll be great for your life and nerves.
Hahahaha!!! well said!! I seem to see a girl biting her nails and grasping her hair :lol:

Now I know why reasonable people always win :wink: and that's why they are always so popular. these reasonable people don't have to be jealous of anyone, because they are naturally lovable, like pob :wink:
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Post by Hardi »

xiaomanman wrote:
pob wrote:so you have a psychological problem..
haha! pob, you are not the first one who said the same sentance to the same one! :lol: :lol: :lol:
U mean he is not frist one who tried to pee against of wind... Well that's great goal!! Win a victory, when piss against of wind!
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Post by shokin »

Orient and adapt your actions according to your goals.

And try helping other people accessing to their goals.

Possibly find common goals.

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Nous sommes libres. Wir sind frei. We are free. Somos libres. Siamo liberi.
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Post by Shazzam »

shokin wrote:Orient and adapt your actions according to your goals.

And try helping other people accessing to their goals.

Possibly find common goals.

Shokin
Actually Shokin I don't agree with adapting your actions according to your goals.

I think goals are a seperate thing. I think you need to set goals outside your normal actions. If you want them to be long term then you have to make them fit into your everyday life.

If you try to change too dramatically outside your normal life; they won't work (i.e. you won't met your goals). You have to be realistic with goal setting; or your will fail.
shokin
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Post by shokin »

If your goal are realistic, where is the problem ?

A goal is, by definition, not easy to finalize. And it takes time.

Without goals no motivation, you don't where you go. Goals are a great source of motivation in your action.

Goals can be (a great) part of your normal life.

When you have real goals, you don't care about "it is difficult" or "it is long". You are determinated by yourself.

And yes, goals are to put in our daily life.

Goals are a sort of criteria that I try to respect in each of my actions. If one action don't respect any criterium, I will probably exclude this action.

Criteria can be :

- preserving nature (so I won't let objects in nature for example)
- preserving my good health (so I won't smoke, for example)
- I want to travel next summer (so I will spare as much money as possible, excluding the useless).
- respecting each being (so I won't injure anyone).
- etc.

Be clever :

Find some actions which contribute to several of your goals.
Make your daily life full of usefull actions (usefull = which contributes at least to one of your goals).
Have a global vision of your week, of your month, of your year, of your goals, of the society, of the nature.

Shokin
Nous sommes libres. Wir sind frei. We are free. Somos libres. Siamo liberi.
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Shazzam
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Post by Shazzam »

shokin wrote:If your goal are realistic, where is the problem ?

A goal is, by definition, not easy to finalize. And it takes time.

Without goals no motivation, you don't where you go. Goals are a great source of motivation in your action.

Goals can be (a great) part of your normal life.

When you have real goals, you don't care about "it is difficult" or "it is long". You are determinated by yourself.

And yes, goals are to put in our daily life.

Goals are a sort of criteria that I try to respect in each of my actions. If one action don't respect any criterium, I will probably exclude this action.

Criteria can be :

- preserving nature (so I won't let objects in nature for example)
- preserving my good health (so I won't smoke, for example)
- I want to travel next summer (so I will spare as much money as possible, excluding the useless).
- respecting each being (so I won't injure anyone).
- etc.

Be clever :

Find some actions which contribute to several of your goals.
Make your daily life full of usefull actions (usefull = which contributes at least to one of your goals).
Have a global vision of your week, of your month, of your year, of your goals, of the society, of the nature.

Shokin
Sorry Shokin too long-winded for me. I think goal setting is pretty much a very basic principle. :)
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Annaa
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Re: GOAL SETTING!

Post by Annaa »

Sometimes I set goals myself :lol: :lol: :lol:
If you don`t like me remember it's mind over matter..I don't mind and you don't matter..
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