GOAL SETTING!

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Do you set goals for yourself?

Yes
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MissLT
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Postby MissLT » Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:07 pm

pob wrote: 2- I've said if they are still stupid... do you think they are not stupid? do you think I am not stupid? do you think you are not stupid? do you think your family is perfect?
I was not insulting your family, everybody does stupid things, and some people change... I was asking if they have changed

This is the sentence that you should have given me in your previous post. I've read your posts, and I believe your English is proficient; therefore, you know how to ask a question without insulting another member.
Let me rephrase your question again, "Are they now the same stupid people they were?" Can you see the rudeness in this sentence. Firstly, you don't know them nor me well enough to talk that way. Secondly, do you know anything about personal boundary? You don't know me well enough to judge my family to me. You're not my best friend or my family member, etc. You're just a peson in this forum who exchange posts with me. Thus, what made you think you've got the right to judge my family to me?

pob wrote:3- I have no problem with you. I repeat I was not insulting, but I'm sorry if there are taboo words in this forum.

It's a rude word if you don't know me well enough to talk like that about my family to me. People do stupid things once in their lifetime; however, it doesn't mean you can come to one person and tell that person you think his/her family members are stupid or that person is stupid without knowing them well. Would you be offended if someone said that to you? If you wouldn't, I must say there is something wrong with you. Hate me for this all you want but I'd still think something was wrong with you if you didn't get offended.
Anyway, if you think what you did was wrong, then apologize and I will accept it. However, if you think what you did wasn't wrong, then don't apologize. I've been given empty apologies, and let me tell you, those peole are worst than people who don't apologize at all. People who don't aplogize for what they did are ignorants, but people who apologize and don't mean it are arrogants. I can forgive an ignorant, but not an arrogant.

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pob
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Postby pob » Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:54 pm

Hardi wrote:Do I meaned anything at all? I don't know :?


fdsa lker dannk reañkju !!
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Postby Hardi » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:04 am

subtitles?

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pob
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Postby pob » Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:55 am

LennyeTran wrote:1- This is the sentence that you should have given me in your previous post. I've read your posts, and I believe your English is proficient; therefore, you know how to ask a question without insulting another member.

2- Let me rephrase your question again, "Are they now the same stupid people they were?" Can you see the rudeness in this sentence. Firstly, you don't know them nor me well enough to talk that way.

3- You don't know me well enough to judge my family to me.

4- what made you think you've got the right to judge my family to me?

5- you can't come to one person and tell that person you think his/her family members are stupid or that person is stupid without knowing them well. (adapted)

6- Would you be offended if someone said that to you? If you wouldn't, I must say there is something wrong with you. Hate me for this all you want but I'd still think something was wrong with you if you didn't get offended.

7- Anyway, if you think what you did was wrong, then apologize and I will accept it. However, if you think what you did wasn't wrong, then don't apologize.

8- I've been given empty apologies, and let me tell you, those peole are worst than people who don't apologize at all.

9- People who don't aplogize for what they did are ignorants, but people who apologize and don't mean it are arrogants. I can forgive an ignorant, but not an arrogant.


1- I don't care about the phrase, you do. I mean I was asking that but you only saw a taboo word !!
About my English, the school language is placing me in 3º grade... there are 5º grades there, and 5º grade is more or less the knowledge needed for "FIRST" exam. But thanks :)

2- They did something stupid and so they were stupid. You can also say my way to express it was stupid, and so I am stupid as well. And there is nothing to be angry about.

3- Only the good people need time to be known. A bad behaviour or a stupid behaviour are instantly perceived by anyone... What they did was stupid !!

4- You're overacting... relax a bit when it comes to your family, do you think they are perfect?

5- I already said people change, and you already said they behaved stupidly that time.
What is the best way to know something? ASKING !!
What did I do? ... ask about the present time giving the fact of what they were in the past.

6- If they have reason, there is no use to be offended.
If they have no reason, there is no use to be offended.
Do you think I think I am perfect? or that my family is? I could have written something rude or even offensive, but I don't deceive myself about "truth".
If someone has reason, you must accept it. If someone has no reason you can laugh instead of getting angry. And if something is not bad with you, you can talk about anything, and not say that you want talk about... like a child !! (I didn't want to be offensive with that, but it's not good that you react in that way to a simple word, and it's rather childish)

7- Of course, I was partially wrong. As you are partially wrong getting so angry... Neither me nor you were completely right !!

8- Be careful with words... If someone kills a person and apologizes, he si better than a person who insults you and doesn't sincerely apologize?

9- So you don't give an option to a third posibility :lol: That's closing your eyes... and perhaps thinking that you are completely right?
You can help me with my English by telling me my mistakes in a private message. Thanks :)

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MissLT
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Postby MissLT » Sat Sep 24, 2005 3:25 pm

pob wrote: 2- They did something stupid and so they were stupid. You can also say my way to express it was stupid, and so I am stupid as well. And there is nothing to be angry about.

3- Only the good people need time to be known. A bad behaviour or a stupid behaviour are instantly perceived by anyone... What they did was stupid !!

4- You're overacting... relax a bit when it comes to your family, do you think they are perfect?

Again, you still do not understand the personal boundary. You still do not know how to talk to a stranger, do you? Well, give yourself a day or two to think. Or perhaps, some years to think then come back and talk to me, okay. I don't like talking to people who know what they did was wrong, but still having a big mouth enough to argue about it.

pob wrote:5- I already said people change, and you already said they behaved stupidly that time.

I did not say anything about they were being stupid. I was just sharing my story. Reread my post.

pob wrote:What is the best way to know something? ASKING !!
What did I do? ... ask about the present time giving the fact of what they were in the past.

Exactly. Asking. And there are many ways to ask. You don't have to ask in a rude way.

pob wrote:6- If they have reason, there is no use to be offended.
If they have no reason, there is no use to be offended.
Do you think I think I am perfect? or that my family is? I could have written something rude or even offensive, but I don't deceive myself about "truth".

They are perfect or I think they're perfect or not is not your job to think about. Do you get that point? It's not your place to get there. I was sharing a story. If you think you couldn't ask in a nice way, don't ask at all. Since you don't know me or my family well, it's not your place to ask about them in such a rude way. It's unacceptable.

pob wrote:7- Of course, I was partially wrong. As you are partially wrong getting so angry... Neither me nor you were completely right !!

Defending for my family is never wrong. Again, I repeat, defending for my family is never wrong. If you hadn't been rude, this whole thing wouldn't had happened in the first place.

pob wrote:8- Be careful with words... If someone kills a person and apologizes, he si better than a person who insults you and doesn't sincerely apologize?

This is another situation. One act is extreme over another. It's not a justified comparason. Anyway, my answer is I would take the apology of the murder if he completely meant what he said; however, it won't bring time back. At least, it would heal some parts of my pain knowing that that person knew what he did was wrong.
Like I said in my previous post, I can forgive someone who knows what he/she did was wrong and sincerely apologize. I can forgive an ignorant over an arrogant. To me you're asking me this weird question because you didn't read my post carefully.
Anyway, I'm tired of you not knowing what you did was wrong and still yapping about it. Why don't you just ignore my posts whenever you see them. It'd be better for both of us, okay. I don't need anyone who gives their opinions about my family without asking. If I didn't ask, don't share what you think about them with me. It's rude and unacceptable to me. I've drawn a line, and I would love to see no one crosses it. End of discussion right here.

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pob
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Postby pob » Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:01 pm

LennyeTran wrote:They are perfect or I think they're perfect or not is not your job to think about.

If you think you couldn't ask in a nice way, don't ask at all.


1- They did something stupid, so they were stupid... if you don't want to accept this, is because you think they are great, they are better than other human beings... and that's why you defend your point by rejecting the posibility of talking about how do you see them, without posibility of them to be stupid even in the past.

2- I didn't ask nicely. But you also didn't read nicely.
There is no communication if you don't read it.. and the same way I wrote not nicely, you read it in a bad way--> so what it was a bit disagreeable in the way it was written, but not in the meaning of the message, you made it an agression which carried you to hate...

I hope you someday decide to control your disposition to hate... that's not good thing...
You can help me with my English by telling me my mistakes in a private message. Thanks :)

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Shazzam
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Postby Shazzam » Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:11 am

Well here is my goal for the next few months (hopefully longer; but i'm starting with a few months). I will try and build on it.

I want to do a small amount of exercise at least five days a week. I have been doing bike riding, weights and walking now for about three weeks and I feel better. I need to turn this into a lifestyle. So i'm going to set myself a goal to see if I can stick to it for 3 months). I am keeping a journal and I tick it off everyday after I have completed it.

It is actually becoming fun. I hope it stays that way! :lol: :lol:

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Postby MissLT » Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:26 am

pob wrote:
LennyeTran wrote:They are perfect or I think they're perfect or not is not your job to think about.

If you think you couldn't ask in a nice way, don't ask at all.


1- They did something stupid, so they were stupid... if you don't want to accept this, is because you think they are great, they are better than other human beings... and that's why you defend your point by rejecting the posibility of talking about how do you see them, without posibility of them to be stupid even in the past.

Tell me, did you even see this? It's not your business to say how they are since you don't know them. Learn something about personal boundary, okay.

pob wrote:2- I didn't ask nicely. But you also didn't read nicely.
There is no communication if you don't read it.. and the same way I wrote not nicely, you read it in a bad way--> so what it was a bit disagreeable in the way it was written, but not in the meaning of the message, you made it an agression which carried you to hate...

Are you kidding me with this? You just don't get it, do you? And did I tell you about ignoring my posts? If you can't see what you did was wrong, then don't talk to me. End of discussion, okay.

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Postby MissLT » Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:31 am

shazzam1452 wrote: I want to do a small amount of exercise at least five days a week. I have been doing bike riding, weights and walking now for about three weeks and I feel better. I need to turn this into a lifestyle. So i'm going to set myself a goal to see if I can stick to it for 3 months). I am keeping a journal and I tick it off everyday after I have completed it.

I've tried, and I believe I gave up in the third week. So, good luck to you. I hope you'll make it. I bet it will feel extremely good when you've made it. Well, I don't know how that feels like since I never actually have made it through with this kinda stuff. I hate setting time to do my exercise. It doesn't feel natural to me.

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Postby pob » Tue Sep 27, 2005 10:35 am

LennyeTran wrote:
1- Learn something about personal boundary, okay.

2- did I tell you about ignoring my posts? If you can't see what you did was wrong, then don't talk to me. End of discussion, okay.


1- Thanks for the advice.
And you could take as well an advice from me:
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"

You have a problem. You lost your temper after reading a word, and after that you didn't try to change your mind. You didn't want to see the real intention of my message. Yoy only wanted to be angry, "defend" your family from an irreal attack...etc.

You have a problem if you care about words and not about the message within a phrase, whatever words it includes. You can be angry the first time because it was really not kind the way I asked that, but after that you have no reason to continue like you do... so you have a psychological problem.

I need to learn personal boundary, but you need to learn to read the message and not the words. You are over acting, and by the way you have said twice "end of discussion", but you continue it, because of your mental problem... you need to feel there is one and complete truth about somthing, so you can't accept that you also did read badly, not trying to get the message even after I explain it to you... and also you make exaggerated statements... this is a forum and if you don't want others to talk about something you wrote, you may ask to create an user group and only the people you admit there will be able to talk with you.


2- I wrote not kindly, but what I did was not wrong :P I asked if they are now kind people, but with other words... is wrong if I only ask "are they now kind people?" of course you wouldn't see the posibility of asking that the way I asked it... so you wouldn't say that was wrong...

I don't ignore anybody talking to me, so if you like hating, and ignoring others, you do that... my mind is healthy in that issue and so I won't do that. If you don't want me to reply you can either "End discussion" as you said twice, or call the people who rule this and tell them to fire me (if there is a reason).

And whatever you choose to do, I would like you after that to think about yourself and relax a bit... don't be offended so easily, don't see offenses where there are not, don't hate (in general), and don't say something you won't do. In short, don't deceive yourself. That's too bad for any person, and you are not different to the rest. You can't say that what I did badly is more than asking something in a way you misunderstood the message, and if you believe there is something more that I did badly, you are deceiving yourself... and you do it because something is bad in your mind... you could try to find what's that... it'll be great for your life and nerves.

See you in other situtation if you decide not to talk.
You can help me with my English by telling me my mistakes in a private message. Thanks :)

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Postby pob » Tue Sep 27, 2005 10:41 am

shazzam1452 wrote:
1- I want to do a small amount of exercise at least five days a week. I have been doing bike riding, weights and walking now for about three weeks and I feel better. I need to turn this into a lifestyle.


2- It is actually becoming fun. I hope it stays that way! :lol: :lol:


1- It's important to know how much exercise you used to do before that three weeks. If you didn't do much exercise, perhaps it's too hard for your body trying to do exercise 5 days a week, suddenly!!
Anyway, walking you should do everyday. And aout weights you should talk to some expert.

2- of course it's fun. And if you hope to stay that way, you have not to take your wishes (mind) farer than your body can go... you need to go step by step.... and talking with an expert can help you to know how far you must go in your first step.
:)
You can help me with my English by telling me my mistakes in a private message. Thanks :)

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Postby Shazzam » Tue Sep 27, 2005 11:03 am

pob wrote:
shazzam1452 wrote:
1- I want to do a small amount of exercise at least five days a week. I have been doing bike riding, weights and walking now for about three weeks and I feel better. I need to turn this into a lifestyle.


2- It is actually becoming fun. I hope it stays that way! :lol: :lol:


1- It's important to know how much exercise you used to do before that three weeks. If you didn't do much exercise, perhaps it's too hard for your body trying to do exercise 5 days a week, suddenly!!
Anyway, walking you should do everyday. And aout weights you should talk to some expert.

2- of course it's fun. And if you hope to stay that way, you have not to take your wishes (mind) farer than your body can go... you need to go step by step.... and talking with an expert can help you to know how far you must go in your first step.
:)


Thanks for your comments. I have been exercising for years but not regularly enough; so I know my limitations. I don't mean anything strenuous I mean a 30 minute walk; bike with weights (this is an exercise bike I have in my bedroom) I use 1kg weights (one for each arm) they are not heavy. I wouldn't attempt anything too much, because I know I wouldn't have the endurance.

But thankyou for your comments. I'm being easy on myself anyway I think you have to have 2 days a week when you relax from any routine. :lol:

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Postby pob » Tue Sep 27, 2005 3:14 pm

Then, it's important to start doing exercise regularly and never stay more than 5 days without doing any. :)
If you want to do aerobic exercises, it's interesting to change the routine. For example you can walk for half an hour each day during 2 weeks. Next week walk more time, or walk faster. Next week walk + 5min. walking(?) upstairs... So you vary the way you exercise your body and specially your lungs

If you don't do hard exercise you don't need much relax... but relaxing is also important because of other reasons :) 2 days or more if we can :)

So, I think then you will achieve that goal !!

I also didn't do exercise regularly, but now I've started studying at University (mornings) and next week I start learning French (early afternoon) and Russian (evening) so I'll go all day walking :) and sometimes I'll try going to the swimmingpool before French and after Russian...
And I will also achieve that goal :D
You can help me with my English by telling me my mistakes in a private message. Thanks :)

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Postby Shazzam » Tue Sep 27, 2005 10:40 pm

pob wrote:Then, it's important to start doing exercise regularly and never stay more than 5 days without doing any. :)
If you want to do aerobic exercises, it's interesting to change the routine. For example you can walk for half an hour each day during 2 weeks. Next week walk more time, or walk faster. Next week walk + 5min. walking(?) upstairs... So you vary the way you exercise your body and specially your lungs

If you don't do hard exercise you don't need much relax... but relaxing is also important because of other reasons :) 2 days or more if we can :)

So, I think then you will achieve that goal !!

I also didn't do exercise regularly, but now I've started studying at University (mornings) and next week I start learning French (early afternoon) and Russian (evening) so I'll go all day walking :) and sometimes I'll try going to the swimmingpool before French and after Russian...
And I will also achieve that goal :D


I'm sure you will. Good luck! :)

xiaomanman

Postby xiaomanman » Sat Oct 01, 2005 5:47 am

pob wrote:so you have a psychological problem..


haha! pob, you are not the first one who said the same sentance to the same one! :lol: :lol: :lol:


pob wrote:don't be offended so easily, don't see offenses where there are not...and you do it because something is bad in your mind... you could try to find what's that... it'll be great for your life and nerves.


Hahahaha!!! well said!! I seem to see a girl biting her nails and grasping her hair :lol:

Now I know why reasonable people always win :wink: and that's why they are always so popular. these reasonable people don't have to be jealous of anyone, because they are naturally lovable, like pob :wink:

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Postby Hardi » Sat Oct 01, 2005 7:40 am

xiaomanman wrote:
pob wrote:so you have a psychological problem..


haha! pob, you are not the first one who said the same sentance to the same one! :lol: :lol: :lol:


U mean he is not frist one who tried to pee against of wind... Well that's great goal!! Win a victory, when piss against of wind!

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Postby shokin » Sun Oct 02, 2005 9:50 pm

Orient and adapt your actions according to your goals.

And try helping other people accessing to their goals.

Possibly find common goals.

Shokin
Nous sommes libres. Wir sind frei. We are free. Somos libres. Siamo liberi.

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Postby Shazzam » Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:07 pm

shokin wrote:Orient and adapt your actions according to your goals.

And try helping other people accessing to their goals.

Possibly find common goals.

Shokin


Actually Shokin I don't agree with adapting your actions according to your goals.

I think goals are a seperate thing. I think you need to set goals outside your normal actions. If you want them to be long term then you have to make them fit into your everyday life.

If you try to change too dramatically outside your normal life; they won't work (i.e. you won't met your goals). You have to be realistic with goal setting; or your will fail.

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Postby shokin » Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:36 pm

If your goal are realistic, where is the problem ?

A goal is, by definition, not easy to finalize. And it takes time.

Without goals no motivation, you don't where you go. Goals are a great source of motivation in your action.

Goals can be (a great) part of your normal life.

When you have real goals, you don't care about "it is difficult" or "it is long". You are determinated by yourself.

And yes, goals are to put in our daily life.

Goals are a sort of criteria that I try to respect in each of my actions. If one action don't respect any criterium, I will probably exclude this action.

Criteria can be :

- preserving nature (so I won't let objects in nature for example)
- preserving my good health (so I won't smoke, for example)
- I want to travel next summer (so I will spare as much money as possible, excluding the useless).
- respecting each being (so I won't injure anyone).
- etc.

Be clever :

Find some actions which contribute to several of your goals.
Make your daily life full of usefull actions (usefull = which contributes at least to one of your goals).
Have a global vision of your week, of your month, of your year, of your goals, of the society, of the nature.

Shokin
Nous sommes libres. Wir sind frei. We are free. Somos libres. Siamo liberi.

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Postby Shazzam » Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:38 pm

shokin wrote:If your goal are realistic, where is the problem ?

A goal is, by definition, not easy to finalize. And it takes time.

Without goals no motivation, you don't where you go. Goals are a great source of motivation in your action.

Goals can be (a great) part of your normal life.

When you have real goals, you don't care about "it is difficult" or "it is long". You are determinated by yourself.

And yes, goals are to put in our daily life.

Goals are a sort of criteria that I try to respect in each of my actions. If one action don't respect any criterium, I will probably exclude this action.

Criteria can be :

- preserving nature (so I won't let objects in nature for example)
- preserving my good health (so I won't smoke, for example)
- I want to travel next summer (so I will spare as much money as possible, excluding the useless).
- respecting each being (so I won't injure anyone).
- etc.

Be clever :

Find some actions which contribute to several of your goals.
Make your daily life full of usefull actions (usefull = which contributes at least to one of your goals).
Have a global vision of your week, of your month, of your year, of your goals, of the society, of the nature.

Shokin


Sorry Shokin too long-winded for me. I think goal setting is pretty much a very basic principle. :)

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Re: GOAL SETTING!

Postby Annaa » Fri Jun 27, 2008 12:36 pm

Sometimes I set goals myself :lol: :lol: :lol:
If you don`t like me remember it's mind over matter..I don't mind and you don't matter..


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