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Second chances

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:38 am
by Rossana
Hi!

I just want to hear some of your opinion regarding this..

If someone had hurt you so much in the past,(let´s say,your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who cheated on you or a father who left you when you were young) and now he/she is trying to ask for your forgiveness, what would you do?



:roll:

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:05 am
by Dixie
It's a very complicated question. Of course it depends on a variety of factors but my first answer would be (since I am a very stubborn person) not to forgive. Depending on what happened, that would be the best solution for me. However, and like I said, it depends on many things: what happened, why it happened, and the most important: are you willing to forgive and move on?

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:45 am
by Rossana
Thanks. :)

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:50 am
by sweets
for me i will forgive buti'll be careful also :wink:


cheeeeeeeeeeers

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:07 am
by Vega
Rosanna wrote:Hi!

I just want to hear some of your opinion regarding this..

If someone had hurt you so much in the past,(let´s say,your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who cheated on you or a father who left you when you were young) and now he/she is trying to ask for your forgiveness, what would you do?



:roll:

A girlfriend who cheated on me...I never forgive them.

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:39 am
by Dixie
Xkalibur wrote: A girlfriend who cheated on me...I never forgive them.
Me neither. You know what they say, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" :roll: If you love someone, you don't even think of having something with anybody else.

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:57 am
by Hardi
Really hard to tell. If I haven't given anyone the first chance, then how could I give the second one. So.. it means I don't. I would make anyone who dares to betray me, to feel so miserable and guilty. That she would never courage to ask second chance. :evil:

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:33 pm
by Melek
Rossana wrote:Hi!

I just want to hear some of your opinion regarding this..

If someone had hurt you so much in the past,(let´s say,your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who cheated on you or a father who left you when you were young) and now he/she is trying to ask for your forgiveness, what would you do?



:roll:





dear,Rosanna..very interesting & very hard question...I think first of all everything depends on the situation..They say that person who can forgive is a great person..But I say that if someone loves his/her lovely he/she will forgive him/her everything..but I dont think that I will forgive him adultry..It means I will give up loving him! so choise is yours!
GOOD LUCK:)

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:54 pm
by Vega
melek wrote:
dear,Rosanna..very interesting & very hard question...I think first of all everything depends on the situation..They say that person who can forgive is a great person..But I say that if someone loves his/her lovely he/she will forgive him/her everything..but I dont think that I will forgive him adultry..It means I will give up loving him! so choise is yours!
GOOD LUCK:)

I say that person who is used to forgive is a stupid donkey...Nice saying, isn't it? May quote my words anytime you want! :P

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 1:58 pm
by Dixie
I agree with Xkalibur. Forgiving all the time does not make you a better person! On the contrary, it's a dumb thing to do, people will fool you all the time :roll:

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 2:21 pm
by Melek
Xkalibur wrote:
melek wrote:
dear,Rosanna..very interesting & very hard question...I think first of all everything depends on the situation..They say that person who can forgive is a great person..But I say that if someone loves his/her lovely he/she will forgive him/her everything..but I dont think that I will forgive him adultry..It means I will give up loving him! so choise is yours!
GOOD LUCK:)

I say that person who is used to forgive is a stupid donkey...Nice saying, isn't it? May quote my words anytime you want! :P

sure I will quote!!!look,first of all read my post attentively..I didnt say we should forgive every time,I said that it depends on the situation...I repeat again read exactly my words,plz! then ,our God ,the creator of universe forgives our even very rude mistakes & gives us a second chance..if he forgives us then why shouldnt we do that? its ur opinion that maybe person who forgives is donkey!its the way of your thinking..u too can quote my post,I ll answer with pleasure!

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 3:41 pm
by Vega
melek wrote:sure I will quote!!!look,first of all read my post attentively..I didnt say we should forgive every time,I said that it depends on the situation...I repeat again read exactly my words,plz! then ,our God ,the creator of universe forgives our even very rude mistakes & gives us a second chance..if he forgives us then why shouldnt we do that? its ur opinion that maybe person who forgives is donkey!its the way of your thinking..u too can quote my post,I ll answer with pleasure!
God is almighty. He forgives, because he can. I never forgive, but I never stop trying to..deep inside me.

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 4:01 pm
by Tora
Xkalibur wrote: A girlfriend who cheated on me...I never forgive them.
On the countrary - would you like to be given the second chance? :wink:

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 4:58 pm
by Vega
Tora wrote:
Xkalibur wrote: A girlfriend who cheated on me...I never forgive them.
On the countrary - would you like to be given the second chance? :wink:
You mean would I like to be given the second chance if I cheated...Well, Xkalibur never would cheat her, you know...it's against his philosophy.

But theoretically if I'd cheated, I wouldn't go to ask her to give me chances, you know...how could I look in her eyes then?

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:18 pm
by Melek
Xkalibur wrote:
God is almighty. He forgives, because he can. I never forgive, but I never stop trying to..deep inside me.

ok,u say that u wont forgive...I do respect ur approach!& u plz in ur turn respect the other's opinions..dont insult the others calling them stupid donkey..u r a moderator in EC...actually I didnt expect it from u...u dissappointed me :(

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:30 pm
by Vega
melek wrote: ok,u say that u wont forgive...I do respect ur approach!& u plz in ur turn respect the other's opinions..dont insult the others calling them stupid donkey..u r a moderator in EC...actually I didnt expect it from u...u dissappointed me :(

I am not a moderator!...:? And don't take that personally.

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 6:51 am
by Dixie
melek wrote: ok,u say that u wont forgive...I do respect ur approach!& u plz in ur turn respect the other's opinions..dont insult the others calling them stupid donkey..u r a moderator in EC...actually I didnt expect it from u...u dissappointed me :(
Sorry melek but Xkalibur never insulted anybody. He's a very respectful member of EC and his post never intended to offend anyone.

There's another post of yours above, though, that talks about "our God" and preaches about religion. Please read the forum rules.

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 9:01 am
by Tora
Dixie wrote:There's another post of yours above, though, that talks about "our God" and preaches about religion. Please read the forum rules.
Oh Dixie, give Melek a second chance :lol:

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 11:32 am
by Melek
Dixie wrote:
melek wrote: ok,u say that u wont forgive...I do respect ur approach!& u plz in ur turn respect the other's opinions..dont insult the others calling them stupid donkey..u r a moderator in EC...actually I didnt expect it from u...u dissappointed me :(
Sorry melek but Xkalibur never insulted anybody. He's a very respectful member of EC and his post never intended to offend anyone.

There's another post of yours above, though, that talks about "our God" and preaches about religion. Please read the forum rules.
Dixie,I guess I didnt touch any religion,I only mentioned God's name..that's all..

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 11:44 am
by Vega
I didn't mean to hurt you melek...Ok, Those who are used to forgive are not stupid donkeys.


:(

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 11:49 am
by Hardi
[offtopic]Could someone please explain to me. What is the difference between stupid monkey and stupid human[/offtopic]

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 12:52 pm
by Dixie
Tora wrote:
Oh Dixie, give Melek a second chance :lol:
:lol: :lol: Alright! :D

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:31 pm
by Vega
Hardi wrote:[offtopic]Could someone please explain to me. What is the difference between stupid donkey and stupid human[/offtopic]
[offtopic]...Imagine that there are two haystacks lay on not in a big distance from each other. And, our stupid donkey looks at haystacks and cannot decide which one to eat. He thinks, again thinks...thinks a lot, but what happened? :roll:..our poor donkey dies!!! (I guess you know why!). So the same with a stupid person. [offtopic]

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:33 pm
by Snowy*
Rossana wrote:Hi!

I just want to hear some of your opinion regarding this..

If someone had hurt you so much in the past,(let´s say,your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who cheated on you or a father who left you when you were young) and now he/she is trying to ask for your forgiveness, what would you do?



:roll:



It's depend in the attitude if I see him he is really sorry about what had happend I'll forgive him ...

And i'll see his /her reasons


Rossana >> why you ask this question did any one cheat you ??




Snowy**

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 12:49 pm
by mamuta
Tora wrote:would you like to be given the second chance? :wink:
In my opinion: yes, but with a different person 8)

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:00 pm
by jrkp
It´s a very difficult subject!!! But I think it´s all about trust. You have to ask yourself: Can I trust on him/her again?. Remember that all the relationships are based fundamentally on Trust. If you are able to trust in that person who has hurt you without any doubts , well, go ahead, forgive him. Otherwise, You shouldn´t do it.

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 2:22 pm
by jrkp
Xkalibur wrote:A girlfriend who cheated on me...I never forgive them.
Well, you shouldn´t say such a definitive statement. In my country we have a saying: "Don´t say you won´t drink that water because you will end up drinking it quicker". I´ve known cases of friends who used to think in that way and they end up forgiving their couples, even though they have been cought red-handed. Remember that Love turn us into irrational beings and make us do stupid thing that in other situation we wouldn´t do.....

P.S: Sorry abou the rough translation....

Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:34 pm
by Vega
jrkp wrote:
Xkalibur wrote:A girlfriend who cheated on me...I never forgive them.
Well, you shouldn´t say such a definitive statement. In my country we have a saying: "Don´t say you won´t drink that water because you will end up drinking it quicker". I´ve known cases of friends who used to think in that way and they end up forgiving their couples, even though they have been cought red-handed. Remember that Love turn us into irrational beings and make us do stupid thing that in other situation we wouldn´t do.....

P.S: Sorry abou the rough translation....
Well, everyone of us has own perception to values of relationship ...Well, I'll say one thing..it may sound strange for you, anyway, it is based on my principles:

A girlfriend/ or wife is like a person that works in your 'company'(:arrow: she lives with you, raises your children, etc.) : you hired her because she was suitable person for your 'company' (:arrow: she loves you, you love her, etc.) and you in your turn pay her the salary (:arrow: it may be your attention, etc... all in all you try to make her feel happy as much as you can..). But one day appears another dude who promises her to pay high salary. And she leaves your 'company' with leaving out 'projects' you planned in the near future. In othe words, she cheated on you. She is irresponsible...that is a matter for me..of not forgiving girls/women like her.


P.S.
Sorry for grammatical errors. But if you quote this post, please don't forget to point out my errors. :P

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:14 am
by mamuta
Xkalibur wrote:A girlfriend/ or wife is like a person that works in your 'company'(:arrow: she lives with you, raises your children, etc.) : you hired her because she was suitable person for your 'company' (:arrow: she loves you, you love her, etc.) and you in your turn pay her the salary (:arrow: it may be your attention, etc... all in all you try to make her feel happy as much as you can..). But one day appears another dude who promises her to pay high salary. And she leaves your 'company' with leaving out 'projects' you planned in the near future. In othe words, she cheated on you. She is irresponsible...that is a matter for me..of not forgiving girls/women like her.
OK, sounds logically...but are you sure you will always be guided by common sense? Sometimes feelings go beyond all reasons :? Don't you think your heart is unpredictable?

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 3:02 pm
by jrkp
Xkalibur wrote:Well, everyone of us has own perception to values of relationship ...Well, I'll say one thing..it may sound strange for you, anyway, it is based on my principles:

A girlfriend/ or wife is like a person that works in your 'company'( she lives with you, raises your children, etc.) : you hired her because she was suitable person for your 'company' ( she loves you, you love her, etc.) and you in your turn pay her the salary ( it may be your attention, etc... all in all you try to make her feel happy as much as you can..). But one day appears another dude who promises her to pay high salary. And she leaves your 'company' with leaving out 'projects' you planned in the near future. In othe words, she cheated on you. She is irresponsible...that is a matter for me..of not forgiving girls/women like her.
I must confess this is one of the most original explanation about this subject I´ve ever read!!! To me, even though it´s sound very logical, you have to remember that our actions are guided by two things: our emotions and our capacity to reason out, and both are always in eternal contradiction. It´s very difficult to balance those sides of our personalities, especially when we are talking about love, because it´s essentially emotional. Let me give you and example: A good girl is fallen in love but her boyfriend turns out to be a bump, I mean, he´s a guy who doesn´t work, he´s on drugs and he beats her everyday as well. Logically speaking, she shouldn´t be with him but you can see many cases where ladies not only don´t leave those "angels", also they justifies them for what they do. It´s the same thing when somebody is cheating.
mamuta wrote:OK, sounds logically...but are you sure you will always be guided by common sense? Sometimes feelings go beyond all reasons Don't you think your heart is unpredictable?
I couldn´t say that better!!!! You´ve hit the target with that question because sums up what I´ve written above.....

Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 6:12 pm
by Vega
mamuta wrote:OK, sounds logically...but are you sure you will always be guided by common sense? Sometimes feelings go beyond all reasons :? Don't you think your heart is unpredictable?
--
jrkp wrote:I must confess this is one of the most original explanation about this subject I´ve ever read!!! To me, even though it´s sound very logical, you have to remember that our actions are guided by two things: our emotions and our capacity to reason out, and both are always in eternal contradiction. It´s very difficult to balance those sides of our personalities, especially when we are talking about love, because it´s essentially emotional. Let me give you and example: A good girl is fallen in love but her boyfriend turns out to be a bump, I mean, he´s a guy who doesn´t work, he´s on drugs and he beats her everyday as well. Logically speaking, she shouldn´t be with him but you can see many cases where ladies not only don´t leave those "angels", also they justifies them for what they do. It´s the same thing when somebody is cheating.

I agree with you...particulary...Sometimes you meet a person and think that he/she is all your life...You think that you will never meet any one like her, anyone who will bring the meaning to your life again if you losing her (and even if you met your love, never can be sure if your feelings are mutual),...perhaps you're right.

If you're in doubt whether forgive a person who cheated on you, that is resonable, because it could be happen when you don't even expected that...You have a choice to forgive her, or live with a thought what to do with your suddenly broken heart etc...There may be many reasons so why people forgive..I am not trying to persuade them..everyone decides based on his own mind.
But as for me, I would choose the second one not only the matter on her, also because of me...why did she make a step toward infidelity is also my mistake.

Re: Second chances

Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 12:22 pm
by Ms.A.Z
Rossana wrote:Hi!

I just want to hear some of your opinion regarding this..

If someone had hurt you so much in the past,(let´s say,your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend who cheated on you or a father who left you when you were young) and now he/she is trying to ask for your forgiveness, what would you do?



:roll:

If God can forgive any crime made by human then why cant human forgive and give a 2nd chance to man kind like themselves! :wink: I know its hard and hurts alot but maybe it worth a try.

Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:07 pm
by Hardi
It's all about appearance. I could forgive anything, but not ugliness.

Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 6:15 am
by Vega
Hardi wrote:It's all about appearance. I could forgive anything, but not ugliness.
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment, my son.

Re: Second chances

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:24 am
by mamuta
Ms.A.Z wrote:If God can forgive any crime made by human then why cant human forgive and give a 2nd chance to man kind like themselves!
OK, but I'm not so perfect... :?

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:37 am
by nightwish
I won't forgive.

Re: Second chances

Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 4:29 pm
by Ms.A.Z
mamuta wrote:
Ms.A.Z wrote:If God can forgive any crime made by human then why cant human forgive and give a 2nd chance to man kind like themselves!
OK, but I'm not so perfect... :?

ME TOO....I never forgive....but :roll: there are times where i did..but things never been the same as it used to be. :idea:

Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:54 pm
by Krisi
How about the father who left his child, if you're the child what would you do? Would you forgive?

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 4:35 pm
by Ms.A.Z
it depends,you have to hear the father's side of the story maybe the story it self has the key to your question. :idea:

Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 5:48 pm
by Oriani
krisi wrote:How about the father who left his child, if you're the child what would you do? Would you forgive?
This is a dfficult question because every child has a different mind and feelings ( or reaction) about that fact! I would forgive because I don't want to die without forgiving any person in this world, at least at the last moment.

Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 12:48 pm
by Krisi
Oriani wrote:
krisi wrote:How about the father who left his child, if you're the child what would you do? Would you forgive?
This is a dfficult question because every child has a different mind and feelings ( or reaction) about that fact! I would forgive because I don't want to die without forgiving any person in this world, at least at the last moment.


You're so kind, Oriani. I was touched.

Re: Second chances

Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:27 pm
by twinklesonavi
It's always depends on the situation..whether to forgive that person or not...But in my case, I would forgive that person, but will never let that person enter in my life no matter who is he/she...

Re: Second chances

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:41 am
by shakespear
Hi .someone said "A girlfriend who cheated on me...I never forgive them."
I think there is no difference between a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
About me I `ll forgive this crime.
I regard cheeting a crime.

Re: Second chances

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 2:54 am
by Krisi
shakespear wrote:Hi .someone said "A girlfriend who cheated on me...I never forgive them."
I think there is no difference between a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
About me I `ll forgive this crime.
I regard cheeting a crime.
:roll: You'll forgive but regard cheating as a crime. (be particular!) :? Is talking (if you regard this as cheating) with other people also a crime to you? :roll:


I find this going nowhere really!!! :P

Re: Second chances

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:16 am
by shakespear
Hi .I think it depeds on the situation and the volume of the cheet
For me I forgive anyone asking me to forgive him.there is no difference between girl or boy,woman or man.

Re: Second chances

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 7:19 pm
by Sunnypk
if the mistake is forgiveable and he/she do avouchment of his/her enigma again infont of me with the true heart than I will agreebly forgive him/her

Re: Second chances

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:48 am
by sweets
if some one cheat me once i'll never forgive him or her cuz. who cheat once cheat twice and more which i do not allow it at all :evil:

Re: Second chances

Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:16 am
by IrinaKhizh
We are only human beings.. That means we don't behave always in a proper way. Anyway, to be honest, who could claim he/she has NEVER done a mistake in his/her life? Who could sincerely say that his/her actions never hurt others?
In my opinion, we have to be able to forgive. Of course, it doesn't mean that relationships with an offender could be continued further. But we have to remember, that our soul might be destroyed by heavy burden of negative emotions.
There are too much cruelty and intolerance in the world... :(
That was what I think. In practice, my ability to forgive depends on situation. For example, I can't forgive my former friend for her affair with my former husband. Then, I can't forgive my former boyfriend for his disgraceful behaviour just when I needed help very much. I wish I could...
On the other hand, I could write lots of examples when I easily forgave my offenders...
To sum up, I think we have to be more merciful to others... :roll:

Re: Second chances

Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:14 am
by venusian
let me tell about my own experience...I haven't really a good life.. I was taking care by my uncle and I never live with my own father since I was baby untill I grow up when I was 17..thats really hurts me cuz my uncle never agree if my father want to see me b'cuz its forbide...

I ever disappointed by my boyfriend many times so I decided to break up :)

Re: Second chances

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 3:12 pm
by Annaa
I think that te person who can forgive it`s a big person.I forgived many times cuz we`re humans and we make mistakes.But I won`t never forgive my bf gor cheating :evil: :evil: :evil: .And also if my father let me when I was a child I will NEVER forgive him,4me he`ll b a dead person :evil: :evil: :evil: ,this is unforgivable.