... writing some lyrics for a song ...

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BadDisciple
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... writing some lyrics for a song ...

Post by BadDisciple » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:10 pm

Hello,

I'm writing some lyrics for a song and I want to put few quotes by well known men but I needed to re-phrase them for good "scanning" with the music. Not being a native English speaker, I always feel unsure about the linguistic/meaningful correctness. So an English speaker's advice is most welcome to possible corrections. Here the few lines already made my way:

Joy is inside us, it's
not inside things. (Richard Wagner)
Break a kaleidoscope and
surprise your mind,
no fancy shapes but just
broken glass you'll find. (Francis Church)
Beautiful rainbows
do you think you'll see
if looking down? No,
in the sky they'll be. (Charlie Chaplin)

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sueandcat
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Re: ... writing some lyrics for a song ...

Post by sueandcat » Thu Apr 20, 2017 5:05 pm

Hi BadDisciple,

I am absolutely no good at lyric writing, but I am a native English speaker and an EFL/ESL teacher. Your wordings are absolutely fine - I wouldn't make a single correction! :-)

Regards,

Sue
http://www.theenglishgrammarblog.com

Teacher of English for 10 years. CELTA and DTLLS qualified. Linguistics and Anthropology graduate.

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BadDisciple
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Re: ... writing some lyrics for a song ...

Post by BadDisciple » Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:25 pm

Hi Sueandcat,
That sounds really so flattering to me, as if you, a professional linguist, tell me this, what else could I expect better? Thank you greatly.

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Marinna
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Re: ... writing some lyrics for a song ...

Post by Marinna » Sat Apr 22, 2017 9:26 am

Super, great, honest answer. This was what I expected, thanks for the tips!

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