... writing some lyrics for a song ...

[BadDisciple]

Hello,

I'm writing some lyrics for a song and I want to put few quotes by well known men but I needed to re-phrase them for good "scanning" with the music. Not being a native English speaker, I always feel unsure about the linguistic/meaningful correctness. So an English speaker's advice is most welcome to possible corrections. Here the few lines already made my way:

Joy is inside us, it's
not inside things. (Richard Wagner)
Break a kaleidoscope and
surprise your mind,
no fancy shapes but just
broken glass you'll find. (Francis Church)
Beautiful rainbows
do you think you'll see
if looking down? No,
in the sky they'll be. (Charlie Chaplin)

[sueandcat]

Hi BadDisciple,

I am absolutely no good at lyric writing, but I am a native English speaker and an EFL/ESL teacher. Your wordings are absolutely fine - I wouldn't make a single correction!

Regards,

Sue

[BadDisciple]

Hi Sueandcat,
That sounds really so flattering to me, as if you, a professional linguist, tell me this, what else could I expect better? Thank you greatly.

[Marinna]

Super, great, honest answer. This was what I expected, thanks for the tips!