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Self Confidence for Speaking English?

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ZugzwangKG
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Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by ZugzwangKG » Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:20 am

Hello, my wife's primary language is Korean, and she is having trouble with her confidence in speaking English. She has been living in America for a number of years now, having come here to learn English. My family, her extended family living here, myself, and everyone else who is close to her thinks she speaks English very well. However, she lacks confidence in speaking, and will clam up in front of strangers who speak English.

Does anybody have advice on things that we can do to help her with her confidence, so that she can feel more open about speaking English? Thank you!

jonathanrace
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by jonathanrace » Sat Nov 17, 2018 9:35 am

Try language exchange apps. She'll be able to practise with strangers where it doesn't matter if she makes mistakes or not.

More input, more input, more input. The more she hears words and sentences being said then the more it will feel "right" when she wants to use them herself.
I can help you Learn English

theway
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by theway » Fri Nov 23, 2018 6:54 am

Hello...

I assume you mean she feels a lack of confidence in engaging in conversation, and not that she is generally; a more reserved personality.

In that scenario....I have a completely different pedagogy than 'memorizing English'.
That is to say; that I do not believe memorizing English is learning English or the correct pathway to learning English.

So, although testing and exchanging English with a stranger is something good... to me it extends the failed-method of memorizing English; which I see as the wrong pathway to confidence. And, the wrong pathway to learn cognitive-English.

Saying what you already know is easy for everyone. (So, it is not a practice to say what you know over-and-over to a stranger or anyone, which will bring her confidence).

Confidence (I think) in this case is "knowing"... by understanding English. So input of information is needed to build confidence... not sharing the output of what someone already knows.

Again, I am referring to someone with a lack of English-ability; which is keeping here from conversations, and not a quiet personality just being itself.

So understanding that sentences are made of 'information' which is ordered for the clarity of exchanging ideas (writing sentences or speaking), allows people to engage in conversation with confidence.

I am sorry, but I cannot provide this kind of lesson here-in. Look for sentence-construction lessons based on the logical idea and placement of ideas (information), in sentences; not grammatically tedious lessons. Grammatical lessons are simply confusing and will make learning conversation come to a halt.

So, the best I can suggest here is using her eyes to learn and not her ears.(I.e. talking with a stranger might help a psychological problem of shyness, but it does not work for learning to communicate in the English language; nor will it build confidence).

I would select 'reading a book of interest; written in English' as a much better and faster way of absorbing ideas, vocabulary, and sentence structure. Reading out-loud ... of course.

Good readers make good speakers... when they practice reading while speaking out-loud.
Maybe you both can read together (out-loud), before you go to sleep at night.... that would be an active thing for you to do to help.

Cheers!
: )
Robert

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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by NativeHK » Mon Jan 07, 2019 7:01 am

I would recommend she uses an online language exchange to gain confidence or perhaps could be a good idea to try find other Koreans who speak English in the area to language exchange with.
Owen Evans
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Whitenights
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by Whitenights » Tue Jan 08, 2019 9:53 am

Hi.
This is my first post on this forum and your wife's problem is the exact reason due to, I joined to english club. Even, writting here make me feel uncomfortable! Anyway, I'm Asian too and I've been living in US with my husband for almost two years but I couldn't come up with this huuugeee problem. I completely understand her. Back then both of us had masters degree and gratuated from the same university and he got admitted for a PhD. It felt terrible when I've got nothing to say or when I was trying to speak, the simplest words and structures came to my mind and even though, I used them incorrectly. It was so sad :(
I had so many ideas and I had plan to apply for phd too, but when it came to speak or write I found my mind totally empty. You know what it hurts much? Making mistakes infront of the others made me feel they may think I'm not smart and profound. Maybe that's because I was always higher than average in every aspects of my educational life and using the english language was my only problem (and stel it is). Maybe your wife is a perfectionist as much as I am and she doesn't want people to see her flaws.
I just wrote here to tell you please try to understand her better and help her. That may seems to others a small problem but actually it's not!

justinhorn
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by justinhorn » Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:49 am

I would recommend for her to speak more with friends and some family members. After some time her confidence will increase and she won't feel anxious when speaking to some strangers on the street or somewhere else.

sarang
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by sarang » Tue Jan 29, 2019 10:36 am

Hi,
Tell her, listen to English news and you also speak with her in English always. Also, you can do one thing, tell her to attend GD session or debate competition so that she can boost her confidence while speaking. For more information visit: personality development class in Amravati
amravati UPSC Classes

WarrenSlater
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by WarrenSlater » Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:31 am

1. Breathe
Something that’s easy to forget when you are nervous. Making sure you have enough oxygen in your blood is vital to feeling confident and speaking a language well. Take a deep breath before you speak to five yourself time to think and help yourself feel more confident.


2. Slow down
Most of the best public speakers in English speak slowly. Speaking slower makes you sound more confident and trustworthy and will also have an impact on how you feel. As well as making you feel more confident, it gives you a bit of time to think about what you are going to say next.


3. Smile
There have been a number of studies that show smiling has a positive impact on people’s mood, making them feel happier and calmer even when there is no other change in their situation. Use this to your advantage when speaking English to feel happier and more confident.


4. Practise making mistakes
One of the biggest barriers to putting new sentence structures and vocabulary into action is the fear of getting it wrong. Even though mistakes are a natural and important part of learning, it can be easy to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when you make one. So, to overcome that fear, put yourself in an a situation where you know you are wrong. For example, go into a hardware store and ask if they sell food. It’s a difficult thing to do, but finding out that people are usually polite and friendly, even when you make an obvious mistake is an important realisation to make.


5. Visualise success
This is a trick used by many top athletes. Before you speak English, imagine yourself speaking clearly and fluently. By visualising the most positive outcome of the situation, you’ll feel confident and know what you’re aiming for.


6. Congratulate yourself
Make sure to celebrate your strengths. Make a list of the things you can already do well in English and keep it to date. When you look down the list of all the things you are already great at, it will make you feel more confident.

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behnam
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by behnam » Fri Feb 15, 2019 6:02 am

ZugzwangKG wrote:
Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:20 am
Hello, my wife's primary language is Korean, and she is having trouble with her confidence in speaking English. She has been living in America for a number of years now, having come here to learn English. My family, her extended family living here, myself, and everyone else who is close to her thinks she speaks English very well. However, she lacks confidence in speaking, and will clam up in front of strangers who speak English.

Does anybody have advice on things that we can do to help her with her confidence, so that she can feel more open about speaking English? Thank you!
Hi,

Thank you for bringing this question. Your description of the matter implies that your wife is unbelievably shy. The main solution of the problem is investigating the reason of her extreme shyness. However, I think giving her opportunities to expose herself to situations in which she is alone; for example traveling alone, doing the shopping alone, etc. may help her with obtaining some self-confidence in speaking English.

The second important point is avoiding laughing at her accent, or correcting her mistakes frequently. These things produce a Poisonous atmosphere and kill self-confidence.

All the best,
Behnam, 15 February, 2019
ارادتمند شما
*Behi *

housnabrg
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Re: Self Confidence for Speaking English?

Post by housnabrg » Mon Feb 18, 2019 3:56 pm

Hello

i have the same problem, my primary language is arabic, and i usually find difficulties in communication.
i'm living in Morocco and, unfortunatly, rare are the opportunities to pratice my english.
i'm used to watch english series vo with french subtitles, listen english songs.. but i think it isn't enough?
How can i improve my english level .

Plz help me....


ZugzwangKG wrote:
Sat Nov 17, 2018 2:20 am
Hello, my wife's primary language is Korean, and she is having trouble with her confidence in speaking English. She has been living in America for a number of years now, having come here to learn English. My family, her extended family living here, myself, and everyone else who is close to her thinks she speaks English very well. However, she lacks confidence in speaking, and will clam up in front of strangers who speak English.

Does anybody have advice on things that we can do to help her with her confidence, so that she can feel more open about speaking English? Thank you!

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