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My mind never rests...

Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:53 am
by Triumph
My mind never rests...

When I'm on the way to school on a bus, I keep looking out of the window. Seeing the trees waving and the leaves quivering, I wonder, I wonder what they feel about being on the roadside.
How can they stand the polluted air?? the leaves are dull and the branches bend down hopelessly. They're tired, really really tired. I can hear their soft sound," bring us away.. bring us to our home, that lovely forests....please..please..." .....

Looking around inside the bus, it's a strange feeling. People from differnet background and don't know each other are staying in such a small space. Mostly they're all in silence. What are they thinking about? Nothing is told to me from their eyes. Will it be wonderful if I can listen to their heart? No...I don't want to have such kind of ability? It will be a suffering, I know.....

Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 10:55 am
by Triumph
Quiet, thoughtful, stubborn, smart, stupid...these adjectives are always describing me.

I'm quiet since I'm weak at speaking. I can't remember how I learnt Cantonese. The first day I went to school I was in a lost. I coundn't understand what others were saying. I just followed what others did. Standing up to greet the teachers, taking out the books, going out for recess....For a long time, I didn't speak anything in school until I began to konw some cantonese. I remember that I was a talkative girl when I was in my hometown. But since the first day I moved to HK, I have changed......

I don't like playing jokes on others unless I'm sure they don't mind at all. I'm afraid the feeling of being hurt. I had that feeling when I was in primary school. Most of the jokes were because I'm a migrant. Now, I'm still a bit unwilling to let others know I'm a migrant. But, I have to overcome that fear.

Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 11:37 am
by Triumph
I'm not a confident girl. I feel nervous easily and my heart is beating very fast whenever I stand in front of a group of people and give a talk. I'm not used to be focused by so many pairs of eyes and others can feel that my voice is shivering. Much worse is that, my face and ears get red quickly, especially my nose! I look like a clown!! :oops: :lol:

Sometimes before giving a talk, I have thought about taking away my glasses so that I can't see things clearly. Somehow this make me feel less nervous. I remeber there is a book about a girl who wears thick glasses. She often takes away her glasses so that everything in front of her become blurred. She doesn't want to see the dark and ugly side of some people. Her action draws me into deep thought...

Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 12:54 pm
by weenixbreath
it's a nice introducation of yourself. nice works. keep going. anyway, i have one question if you don't mind. Is the HK means Hongkong in your works. Maybe you should have more conversations to persons. Don't be shy. You are a nice girl. trust me. :)

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 12:19 am
by Golfygirl
You put me right there on the bus with you, but I enjoyed the scenery. An idle mind is a huge waste--keep right on pondering.

Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:54 am
by Triumph
weenixbreath wrote:it's a nice introducation of yourself. nice works. keep going. anyway, i have one question if you don't mind. Is the HK means Hongkong in your works. Maybe you should have more conversations to persons. Don't be shy. You are a nice girl. trust me. :)
thanks for your kind advise!! You're nice, too, trust me. :wink:
You're right, HK means Hong Kong. Come and have a visit here. I can be your guide.

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 6:53 am
by Triumph
The dark side of exists in, I can't say everyone, but at least the majority of people. In my heart, I admit that there's an angel and a devil. Sometimes I have some selfish thoughts,then the angel appears and reminds me of the teaching by God. As I grow, the angel seems to grow with me. The chance of beating the devil has increased indeed. :lol:

Insist on your own principle...
I always bear in mind these words. It's hard to tell you that what exact principle I insist. But when the situation is there, we know what we should do, of course accroding to our heart. I find it more difficult to insist on our own principle as we grown up. We think more, care more and consider more, so sometimes we forget our principle. When this happens, I regret. Then again I tell myself firmly: you are you, as long as you're right and without any shame, just go ahead and keep your own way.

Live our life.....

Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:09 pm
by Triumph
...Mouth, nose, eyes and ears....
Among these four organs, can you see which one has the biggest difference? Mouth for eating, speaking, drinking..., nose for smelling, eyes for seeing and ears for hearing. Their functions indeed very different from each other. Yet what's that? The greatest difference...

To me, they are generally similar. And this's why I always have this question: how come we can't close our ears and choose to or not to hear something. We can choose to eat whatever and to say whenever we like. We breathe deeply in a garden with redolent flowers but hold our breath when some unpleasant smell flowing in the air. We close our eyes when we we don't want to see something. Only ears, we can't close our ears in an annoying noise.

However, some people...are just too smart! They have the ability to 'close' their ears. See, all those sweet praise have rushed into their ears. Poor criticism and advice...are kept a thousand miles away!!


Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:16 pm
by tikay
you are good at expressing yourself, and i like what you are showing us to think on. do you want more responses ?...or are you just fine to keep going on? with your writing...maybe it will be like a book? I am not sure how this is, and I am just curious!, let us know your thoughts on this.

Re: Triumph

Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 11:47 am
by Triumph
tikay wrote:you are good at expressing yourself, and i like what you are showing us to think on. do you want more responses ?...or are you just fine to keep going on? with your writing...maybe it will be like a book? I am not sure how this is, and I am just curious!, let us know your thoughts on this.
thanks tikay! :D you are welcome to give me responsees. I'm also curoius about your thoughts!!

Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 11:47 pm
by tikay
I wrote back but it didnt get in and I have to go now...just wait a bit I will try to reply late tonight ...after my last day at school!!! :D Hurray!

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:04 pm
by fortminor
i like your writtings ! simple but meaningful !

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 2:16 pm
by Triumph
On 20th Mar, I took the public exam of plant drawing. Out of my expectation, I had to draw a bundle of lily putting in a basket and two more vegetables( I don't know their name in english). I was very nervous as I didn't pracitise drawing flowers and basket before, and the time allowed was only three hours. The time pass fast and I drew slowly...and rougly :cry: (all the four objects must be drawn otherwise the candiates will be failed) As time's up, I felt exhausted and wanna cry..I may be failed in this paper...............

Feeling down, I bent my head on my way home. I was so upset that I didn't want to eat anything. I tried hard to comfort myself and then I thought I was better. But then my friend phoned me and comforted me. As I listened to her, I just couldn't control myself and cry....

After crying, I felt much relieved....and I suddenly realized that I was quite stupid in the past. I seldom cried even though I was really upset. I didn't want my tears rolling down my cheeks and this made me thought I'm strong. But the fact isn't like that.............

Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 5:56 pm
by tikay
Oh my goodness...crying is a wonderful thing to do when you are frustrated or is meant to be! I have shed too many tears in the harder parts of my life I had no way to control my tears they came very many times when I did not want them to. Always one feels a relief when they have passed. I think one day science will study crying more...I am not sure why it has been neglected so much as an emotion we all share...i think it has to do with behavioral science and now my interest is peaked! I am going out now but later I will look for something
(a study) about crying...

I had forgotton about this thread I meant to come back and answer more to you, so sorry I must have deleted it by mistake from my e-mail....I will be beck soon. (I will be more careful this time!)
Happy Day 2 you Triumph!
I will be back in here tonight...probably late.
I will try to come back to answer the posts of before.

Re: My mind never rests...

Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:19 pm
by Triumph
Man is a strange and interesting creature. On one hand, they are believed to be the most intelligent creature who can control their life perfectly. On the other hand, they are the only one who keeps hankering after the past and wishing to undo what they feel regret or what they hadn’t done well before. It seems that men have never been satisfied with what they posses now and they have bottomless desires to pursue the perfect life that is painted with abundant, bright colors and without even a trace of grey. However, the truth is that, to most people, unless they can adjust their life to the past or to anticipate the future to make changes they want, life won’t be perfect and satisfactory.

As a member of this interesting species, I do have quite a lot of regrets in my past which are etched in my memory firmly, and I know very well that time won't make them fade away. I still remember really clearly how I misunderstood my Grandma's kindness and love to me and how I stupidly disappointed her. At that time, I always thought that my Grandma hated me as whenever I did something wrong, she would definitely teach me a lesson and wanted me to reflect on myself. I treated these as evidence showing her hatred for me. Sooner came the day she passed away, even though I was surrounded by the miserable cries of my cousins and the scenes of adults bending in sorrow, I didn't feel too much sadness and there was not even a drop of tear from my eyes for my Grandma. As I grow up, I gradually understand what my Grandma wanted me to learn, and the deeper I understand it, the more regret and shame I feel…………..

Re: My mind never rests...

Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:21 pm
by Triumph
Yet, no matter how much I feel regret about things I did in the past, I would definitely not rewind my life to a past moment to make any changes. The meaning of perfect life does differ from person to person. To me, a perfect life must be a combination of all elements, including happiness, sadness, regrets, surprise, success and so on. No one promises us a garden of roses and it is meaningless to dream of it. Actually, all the elements composing our life are complementary to each other. If we don't suffer, we won't realize how great joys are. If we don't make mistakes, we can hardly make improvement. Even regrets are necessary to us as they can remind us to think twice before action and consider more thoroughly and deeply about everything seen in our eyes.

Life is indeed a journey of learning. Being unable to rewind our life to the past or to fast forward to our future help us find the true meaning of life. We have to be responsible for whatever we do. Through the things we have done and expected, we learn the philosophy of life, that is, to give and to receive, to love and to be loved, to forgive and to be forgiven.

There is a poem, though very simple, touches me deeply and supports my view to life.

“ I expected to pass through this world but once
Any good things therefore I can do
Or any kindness I can show to any fellow-creature
Let me do it now, let me not differ or neglect it
For I shall not pass this way again ”

It gives me strength, especially when I'm feeling hollow and puzzled in this world………….