A ROSE & A HELL

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shakespear
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A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Wed Mar 26, 2014 10:46 am

A ROSE & A HELL

Who listens to infants or cares for plants?
Who defends them, defends their sad mothers?
Who feels for them, feels for the tearful chants?
All denied, you have no friends, no brothers
………………………………………………………………………. (1)
Who will say " HAPPY RETURNS" again?
Who will give us cards and sweets at Bairam?
Who will wipe puzzled tears, and erase sore pain?
We all please the hope, cling to a fine tram
………………………………………………………………………. (2)
Clashes and shelling, are all day and night
Scattered limbs are spread so high in the sky
The mothers are still waiting for the knight
The saver will come and erase the sigh
………………………………………………………………………. (3)
Moving from place to place, I try to escape
During the night's silence, dull hours pass
And other foul bombs break the calm, and rape..
Our quiet, our souls, and kill the so fair lass
………………………………………………………………………. (4)
A grisly tyrant became our bad fate
Allied with Satan to kill more and more
He's thirsty to blood and he wants to sate
Who stops him? our happy life turned sore
………………………………………………………………………. (5)
An awful missile fell on my garden
Ruined my white flowers, destroyed the beauty
Broke the green branches, it aims to sadden
Happy beings, really you're so potty
………………………………………………………………………. (6)
Under the debris, I found a soft rose
It was still dewy, It was still alive
My lass, I need you to revive and dose..
The rose, what a pity! the charm will rive
………………………………………………………………………. (7)
When can I lean my head on your cozy chest?
Close my eyes, dream to chase you on green lawn?
Recite to you my touching poem, my geste?
And open them to look at you, my nice fawn?
………………………………………………………………………. (8)


i hope you enjoy reading my new poem
have nice moments
our life is like a night mare

Elisa
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby Elisa » Thu Mar 27, 2014 3:42 pm

I am coming back from a very interesting travel through a troubled land and I have seen as a rose can grow among the ruins.
We don’t have to lose the hope. Very deep poem. Compliments!
I send to you my human friendly warmth.

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Thu Mar 27, 2014 7:11 pm

hi
thanks 4 this warmth msg ...yes u caught the aim of this poem....that ; whatever happened there's still a hope ..here the rose represents the hope, the beauty & debris represents destroy, war, death
thnx 4 being the 1st one to comment on this poem and i hope u catch the mistakes of my poem
have nice moments
our life is like a night mare

dreamer
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby dreamer » Fri Mar 28, 2014 8:24 am

for me it's not ur best
i knw how u suffering i lived such situation before but u can draw this paint in better shape not as report

u tried to have little hope but i guess it's fake one but at least realistic one

don't be angry cuz i annoyed u but i feel little depressed nowadays

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Sat Mar 29, 2014 4:58 am

hi
thnx 4 ur comment and i'm not angry and u can speak what u like...but as u know there are two kinds of tales; descriptive and narrative....i tried here to convey my suffering through this poem and show to ppl what's going on in my province, in my town, in my place..
war means destroying, damage, death, deprivation...and unjust rulers, tyrant, who make this war. also i tried here that there is hope, beam in all conditions even in bad condition...there is still a hope and we must care for it to keep it safe...hope like a rose we've to treat, nurse it and care for it to keep it alive
i know it's not my best poem and i'm not angry and i thank u for ur comment
have nice moments
c u soon
our life is like a night mare

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Mon Mar 31, 2014 8:22 am

dear dreamer
depression means that there're sth inside u, i know u have lots to show, u can write creative poetry koz of ur suffering....u r still waiting a miracle to happen...live ur life and try to write whatever come in ur mind...
our life is like a night mare

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:31 am

Hello, non commented...hv nice moment
our life is like a night mare

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farah
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby farah » Thu Apr 03, 2014 9:11 am

Hello shakespear
I think it is very lovely poem. It is descriptive poem. It shows events that happened in your country. It is considered as a document.
see you soom
we have to live our life freely

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Fri Apr 04, 2014 9:43 pm

hi farah
thnx 4 this comment..sorry if i was late to reply u...yes u'r r8 it's considered as a document..also there's sth...i referred in it that we have to keep our hope and nurse it koz its like a white rose..
thnx again 4 the comment
c u
our life is like a night mare

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farah
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby farah » Fri Apr 04, 2014 10:54 pm

hi Shakespear
you are welcome
really it is very good poem
don't care about comments that say it is not very good, i loved the last section
shakespear wrote:When can I lean my head on your cozy chest?
Close my eyes, dream to chase you on green lawn?
Recite to you my touching poem, my geste?
And open them to look at you, my nice fawn?

do not stop writing Shakespear
see you soon
we have to live our life freely

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:40 am

hi friend
i also like the last stanza...it's about emotion...we can't live without emotion...
thnx 4 ur comment...i want to read sth from u..i think u r able to write a poem if u try...we can help each other...
thnx again
our life is like a night mare

dreamer
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby dreamer » Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:15 pm

i'm expecting better poem next time i mean that

you can start with this line

if i were you and u were me
waiting for ur line

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Sat Apr 12, 2014 12:22 pm

hello
ok ur line starts as the following:
if i were u and u were me
i use ur eyes, by my eyes u'll see
i touch ur chest feeling ur heart's beat
when i look to my face our eyes meet

complete plz...........................
our life is like a night mare

dreamer
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby dreamer » Sat Apr 12, 2014 2:27 pm

if i were u and u were me

u'll see how i feel
without u how can i feel
ur my half even if we won't meet

ur trun

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Mon Apr 14, 2014 10:55 am

If i were u and u were me
u would know and u would see
how pain'd hurt my soft soul
u will still my lofty goal
if i were u, i'd kiss my hand
if u were me, u'd get my land

ur turn
our life is like a night mare

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farah
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby farah » Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:32 pm

Hi
you and Dreamrer will have a good porm, but:
Whose this poem will be? You or Dreamer?
No fight, ok?
:-):-P:-D
SEE YOU
we have to live our life freely

dreamer
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby dreamer » Tue Apr 15, 2014 5:26 am

if i were u and u were me
u would know how pain i could cause
so staying away is better for u

if i were u and u were me
u would know powerful i'm i
how i can break hearts easily with no lose ,,

if i were u and u were me
u'll see that staying away from u is mercy from me

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Tue Apr 15, 2014 11:10 am

Hi farah.
We won't argue about the poem
thnx 4 ur comment
our life is like a night mare

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Tue Apr 15, 2014 7:59 pm

If I were you, and you were me
We'd live special life and we'd be
Happy creatures and we could see
Pretty sky and so pretty sea
........
If I were you, I'd nurse myself
That I still think by my real brain
I'd take me far from any elf
To my lover's chest, in a lane
..........
If you were me, you'd live torture
That I loved you or I loved me
I you, you me, we're sole creature
Am I your slave? Or we are free?
.........
If you were me, you'd have desire
You'd sense and feel my hot passion
You'd sense heat inside me and fire
If you were me, I'd get my ration
.........
ur turn
our life is like a night mare

dreamer
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby dreamer » Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:11 pm

if i were you and u were me
u'll feel what i live
heart says yes .. mind says no
if u were me u'll live in big trouble

if i were i would wake up
and have new love with new dream
no need to live past no need to cry
no need to wake past ..
let it pass

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shakespear
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Re: A ROSE & A HELL

Postby shakespear » Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:29 pm

hi
icant go on kox now my heart feels sad...y i feel ur tears rising in ur eyes, r they?
y i cause sadness 2 u & 2 myslf...u won in the poem....i wana u win....koz i u & u me , its mess
our life is like a night mare


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