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The biggest goal in my life

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Vyleeee
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The biggest goal in my life

Postby Vyleeee » Fri Mar 04, 2016 12:20 pm

The biggest goal in my life is to have a successful carrer because of the following reasons. First of all, I can be independent economics & I will get respect from everyone specially my husband. If I see a beautiful dress or lovely wallet on the Internet that I like, I can freely buy it without permission anybody. Secondly, I can do what I love the way I like. Travelling abroad in places I like such as beautiful Manchester city, gorgeous Paris capital and rich Dubai city. Eating the famous street foods as Gringas from Mexico, Chroo con chocolate from Spain, Ramen from Japan and Mixed "Pho" from VietNam. Moreover, having a successful carrer, I can help everyone both physically and materially specially my family. I can show gratitude to my parents by many ways but the best way which is my parents can see me having a good job. I can help my brother & sister with their studies & creative nice job for them nice job. It is my responsibility. Thirdly, with my good conditions I have, I can find a suitable mate. We can work together, share joy & sadness and love forever. Im a nutshell, I'm still trying to achieve the goal of my life with the striving & efforts.
I think my essay has few errors

knowable
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Re: The biggest goal in my life

Postby knowable » Sat Mar 05, 2016 8:25 pm

My biggest goal in life is to be as successful as possible. By this I mean financial independence. Firstly, this is because I will get respect from my peers especially my husband. Secondly, I will get to live my life as I see fit (or as it suits me). I will shop whatever and whenever I feel like it. I will be able to travel to places like the beautiful Manchester, gorgeous Paris, and the rich Dubai city. Eat exotic food (or popular dishes from all over the world) such as Mexican Gringas, Spanish con chocolate, Japanese Ramen, or Vietnamese mixed Pho. Besides that, I will be able to help those who are needy starting with my family. I could give treats to my parents to show them gratitude. I know they would love to see me successful. I could help my brother and sister with their studies. Maybe also help them find suitable jobs.
Lastly, in my secure financial status I will be in a position to attract a good mate who I can enjoy life with.
For now though, I am still trying to achieve that goal, the biggest goal of my life.

Hi Vyleeee, let me know what you think of this and if you have any questions.

knowable
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Re: The biggest goal in my life

Postby knowable » Tue Mar 08, 2016 1:31 pm

Hi Vyleeee,
I thought I should point out some of the errors in your writing as you had asked.

There are a few spelling mistakes: career, especially
Instead of using symbols like &, use ‘and’ or form two sentences out of a long one.

For example: I can help my brother and sister with their studies. Maybe also help them find suitable jobs.

Use fewer words where possible e.g., brother and sister (siblings); share joy, sadness and love forever (share our lives forever).
Your use of transitional words (secondly, thirdly) is good as this helps to create flow between the sentences. However, note the choice of words in relation to other words in a sentence.

For example: 'creative' is an adjective. I think you meant create, a verb. The other one is 'independent economics'. The right phrase should be 'economically independent'.

I hope this helps you more.

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AshAnatomy
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Re: The biggest goal in my life

Postby AshAnatomy » Fri Sep 23, 2016 6:48 am

I want to become an author who write really good books. Books that strike you right into a heart, you know. Books that make you think and feel and so much more. And I want to travel and meet new people and write about them and my experience!

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perfectdreamer
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Re: The biggest goal in my life

Postby perfectdreamer » Mon Oct 02, 2017 5:59 pm

At the moment I'm a student of a High school in Spain. I was born in Italy, because my dad is Italian, but I have an Irish mother. We always travel to those two countries for the summer, along with others. We travel a lot. That’s one of my goals in life; travelling to a lot of the most beautiful places in the world. I was dreaming this since I first came to Spain, 10 years ago. :arrow:
One of my biggest and least possible to come true goal is to become a famous actor. I love acting. I've been acting since I was a little girl... or is that called lying? Joking. :lol: I have been doing classes for a long time in an English theater school. But it closed down a year ago. }: I really hope to find another one and have the possibility to make my dream come true. :-(


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