The Poem : The star

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YeYuJun
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Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:17 am
Status: Learner of English

The Poem : The star

Post by YeYuJun »

The star

When the star falls down
Please grow it by tears
Then it will let you be more stronger

When the star is not shining anymore
Please kiss the star
Then it will shining for you again

When the star passes by the sky
Please pray a hope for you
Then the star will achieve your hope
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shakespear
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Re: The Poem : The star

Post by shakespear »

there's a mistake in the 6th line " will shining" ....you've to say: will be shining OR will shine.
in these lines you use many tenses, i.e: you use: present simple, present continuous and future any way...i hope you use grammar correctly.
i think you have good idea in this poem.
congratulations.
our life is like a night mare
YeYuJun
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Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:17 am
Status: Learner of English

Re: The Poem : The star

Post by YeYuJun »

Thanks to let me know these mistakes, I'll correct them on the next time. {-:
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shakespear
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Re: The Poem : The star

Post by shakespear »

never mind...u r welcome
our life is like a night mare
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