Is any of this gramatically correct?

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IsakWibeck
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Is any of this gramatically correct?

Post by IsakWibeck » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:10 pm

The golden arching rays, composed from the apricot sunset, conjured the most brilliant mosaics; reflecting from each leaf, each straw of grass, each droplet and each pond. The slight breeze caused the wind to whisper through her long and wavy, auburn hair. The vast, green meadow was gracefully illuminated by an empyreal show of light, and all the while, the birds formed a chorale so beautiful that it nearly made her cry.

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Safari
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Re: Is any of this gramatically correct?

Post by Safari » Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:05 am

IsakWibeck wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:10 pm
The golden arching rays, composed from the apricot sunset, conjured the most brilliant mosaics; reflecting from each leaf, each straw of grass, each droplet and each pond. The slight breeze caused the wind to whisper through her long and wavy, auburn hair. The vast, green meadow was gracefully illuminated by an empyreal show of light, and all the while, the birds formed a chorale so beautiful that it nearly made her cry.
Mostly it's grammatically correct

The golden arching rays, composed OF the apricot sunset, conjured the most brilliant mosaics, reflecting from each leaf, each straw of grass, each droplet and each pond. The slight breeze caused the wind to whisper through her long and wavy, auburn hair. The vast, green meadow was gracefully illuminated by an empyreal show of light, and all the while the birds formed a chorale so beautiful that it nearly made her cry.

IsakWibeck
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Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:05 pm
Status: Learner of English

Re: Is any of this gramatically correct?

Post by IsakWibeck » Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:16 am

Thank you!

Would you mind giving feedback on the following lines as well?

It nearly made her forget the life she was suffering; a life of labour - a life of drudgery. It was not unusual at this time, the social inequalities in Britain had - since the advent of industrialisation - been easily comparable to that of the Caste system in India. Ironically, the victorian elite, to which she certainly did not belong, had long referred to the British Raj as "the Jewel in the Crown" of the British Empire, her place of residence.
She didn't give it much thought, however. "It has always been like this, who am I to criticise our way of life," she casually reflected.
It was an unusually beautiful day for the Cotswolds; the general, cloudy and rough days, could hardly be remembered. After a long day of work in the fields - her family was made up of farmers and milkmen - she headed back into the village she called home. The quaint little oh-so-English village of Bourton-on-the-water, in Gloucestershire, had housed the Lewis's for decades.
"Margaret!" She heard a loud, seemingly staunch, voice calling from a distance. "Dinner is served." It was certainly her mother. "I'll be there in a few minutes!" She replied whilst thoughtlessly meandering by the so gently flowing River Windrush, admiring the low, arched stone bridges that characterise "the Venice of the Cotswolds".
Barely a few dozen yards away from her limestone cottage, inadequately sized for her family of five, Margaret stumbled upon a dosser. The old man was wearing ragged clothes, his hair was messy, and there wasn't the slightest indication of happiness to spot in his eyes.
In his seeming despair, he began mumbling the lines of an old poem, which Margaret had heard her sister, Eleanor, speak once before:

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