Need help to correct an essay (writte by a french guy, me)

maximilien · Post by **maximilien** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:02 pm

Hello,

i'm french and 25 years old, and i'm not very good in English (and other subjects)...

For tomorow i have an essay to make about "How will the banking industry look in 2015 ?"

If someone could read what i have made and maybe (please please please;) correct the faults that i have made too, i will be very happy...It's not so long (i suppose) it's only a 300 words essay...?

thinks to the one who will be able to correct my (great) essay...;)

my essay is down there:

Trade existed well before the creation of the first banks, the tradesmen took care to invent many systems to support the exchanges. These systems, more or less solid, had 2 principal defects: the exchanges were braked, the credit was extremely rare. The 17th century saw the born of the first private banks, the national banks appears at the 18th century. In 19th banks played an enormous role in industrialization, in the 20th they had always accompany the needs of their customers : international banks for international markets, financing of the states, insure a very important levels of safety measures (international standards, bankings separated from the activities of purses...).

Throughout the banking history 2 key elements were (have always been) always present.
1-like any organization they must maximize their benefit. With this intention, they use since always one of the most important rule of capitalism: there are outputs of scales which associate the size of a company to its benefit. Accordingly the banks will continue surely the phenomenon of concentration and internationalization which they always knew. For example CA repurchased at the beginning of January the 3rd Egyptienne bank. One can easily imagine a scenario of banking bringings together important until 2015, at least on the Nationnal level. At the international level it seems that the banks of the developed countries will take the advantage on the banks of the developing countries. This advantage is seen already, for example CA bought in January the 3rd bank Egyptienne.

2-At the level of the services suggested/proposed by the banks, we can fear the return of the "universal bank". Let us recall that several crises of the 20th century (Panama Canal) caused by banks which took too many risks encouraged the legislateurs/layers of the whole world to institute a bulk-heading in the banks. For example a bank of investment cannot accept current funds of the shares of private individuals. A decompartmentalization currently takes place in the United States, in a context of globalisation and so increase the size of the banks.

This decompartmentalization makes them more powerful, in more of their increase in size, and more prégnante in the economy. With/at? term, we cannot predict if the size of the banks will guarantee the safety of the international banking structure or if the decompartmentalization will lead to the end of the banking system we already know.

maximilien · Post by **maximilien** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:37 pm

Hello, me again...
Just to say that if one day somebody have a problem in french (a difficult homework) i would be happy to help him/her and give my time back...
thinks,
Max

turkishselin · Post by **turkishselin** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 5:56 pm

Hi I didn't read ur essay but I think ur first sentence must be past perfect tense

Trade HAD existed well before the creation of the first banks

maximilien · Post by **maximilien** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 7:17 pm

thanks for your answer, you have reason, your sentence is just.
thanks
I will try to make my work better...
Max